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Heart attacks are more likely to happen on a Monday.
951
Tuje paane ke liye kuch bhi kar sakta hu,
Tere pyar mein jee mar sakta hu,
Firbi agar tu naa mila,
To Ye formula dusre pe try kar sakta hu.
59
Copy only active window to clipboard Normally,
The Print Screen key copies the entire display or two displays if you got them,
ALT + Print Screen only copies the currently active window to the clipboard.
Whether taking a screenshot to diagnose a problem,
Or just because you want to show something to a friend, this will come in handy.
888
Jabbhi app apni dream girl se mile toh apke chehre par smile honi chahia.
Isse wo bhi apko smile degi wo ki apka confert level ko,
Badayega isse app uske orh jayada karib aoge.
854
Zindagi wo jo guzar jaye,
Ansoo wo jo beh jaye,
Khusi wo jo mil jaye,
Gam wo jo beet jaye,
Magar DOST Wo jo HUMESHA sath nibhaye.
557
Girl: If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl: I know per formality to karni hi padegi.
740
May your birthday and every day be filled with the warmth of sunshine,
The happiness of smiles, the sounds of laughter,
The feeling of love and the sharing of good cheer.
857
Jeene Ki Khwaish Me Har Roz Marte Hai,
Wo Aaye Na Aaye Hum Intezaar Karte Hai,
Jutha Hi Sahi Mere Yaar Ka Vaada Hai,
Hum Sach Maankar Aitbar Karte Hai.
493
Santa: Oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: Nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: Oye chadd yaar chappal pahen ke kha lena.
995
Pyar aur maut se darta kaun hai,
Pyar to ho jata he ise krta kaun hai,
Hum to kar de pyar me jaan bhi qurban,
Par pata to chale hmse pyar karta kaun hai.
43
DIPAWALI Ka Yeh Pyara Tyohaar,
Jeewan Me Laye khusiya Apaar,
Laxmiji Viraje Aapke Dwar,
Subh kamna Hamari Kare Sweekar.
HAPPY DIWALI
507
SANTA Shirt utar ke balcony me tha.
Ek admi: Wah Santa ji Kya chest hai.
SANTA: Are ye to kuchh nahi,
Teri bhabhi ki dekhega to pagal ho jayega.
658
Har Dost se achi baat karna fitrat hai hamari,
Har dost khush rahe hasrat hai hamari,
Koi hum ko yad kare na kare,
Har dost ko yaad karna aadat hai hamari.
327
Ishq Ki Tammanna Hum Bhi Rakhte Hai,
Kisi K Dil Me Hum Bhi Dhadkte Hai,
Na Jaane Kab Milenge,
Jiske Liye Hum Tadpate Hai.
41
Santa asks Banta: Tujhe ladki fasani aati hai? Banta: Nahi. Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le. Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana. Phir usey Class mein uda. Mam k puchne par, larki ka naam lagade. BAS FAS GAYI LADKI.
551
Girl: Bas Kro, Kisine Dekh Liya To.
Boy: Kuch Nahi Hoga Tum Bas Sidhi Raho,
Aur Pura Dikhao, Thoda Aur Karne Do,
Agar Nahi Dikhaya to Mein, Fail Ho Jauga.
48
Aapki hasi bahut pyaari lagti hai,
Aapki har khushi hamein hamari lagti hai,
Kabhi door na karna khud se humein,
Aapki dosti humein jaan se bhi pyaari lagti hai.
52
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
427
Alia bhat: Safola oil to de diya bhaiya,
Iske sath ka Free Gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper: Iske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Alia: Ullu matt banao,
Isme likha hai Cholesterol Free.
294
In a examination hall,
A girl asks a boy sitting on d desknxt to her:
Mujhe is ans ki starting batade baaki main likh loongi.
Boy says: THE.
35
382
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum.
721
Utar ke dekh meri chahat ki gehrai mein,
Sochna mere bare mein raat ki tanhai mein,
Agar ho jaye meri chahat ka ehsas tumhein,
To milega mera aks tumhein apni hi parchhai mein…
755
ABHEEJIT DAYA KO BOLA DEKH SARIKA KA FIGURE......
ABHEEJIT DAYA KO BOLA DEKH SARIKA KA FIGURE........
RAJNI BOLA DONT RUN AWAY I`LL PRESS D TRIGGER
YANNA RASCALA MIND IT!!!
440
Sher Chala Karte Hai Khuddar Chala Karte Hain Sar Utha Ke Kaum Ke
Sunny Deol Jaise Sardar Chala Karte Hain!
532
Teacher to Pappu, isko english mein translate karo:
Sara ne kapray pehan liye hain.
Pappu: Shit! I am Late.
708
Beti: Maa Gaon mein Group wale aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti: Maa Admin sahab bhi hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.
39
Suhagaraat ko PATI Apni PATNI se
SEX Karte Hue Puchhata Hai..
Kya Mahsoos Kar Rahi ho, Jaaneman?
PATNI: Kya Bataaun Dear!!!
Yahi ki Aaj Tak Main TOP-UP me hi
Apna Kaam Chala Rahi Thi,
Aaj se Life-Time Karva Liya Hai.
718
Sunny Leone:Doctor,Aajkal Bahut Thakan Mehsus Hoti Hai?
Lagta Hai Khoon Kam Ho Gaya Hai.
Doctor: Periods Ke Waqt Kitna Loss Hota Hai.
Sunny Leone: Yehi Koi 30-40 Lakh Ka.
60
Agar Wo Age Me Aapse Chhoti Ho Phir Bhi Aap Unse AAP Kahkar Hi Baat Kare. Unhe Lagna Chahiye Ki Aap Unki Bahut Respect Karte Hai.
733
Santa subah radio le kar potty karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj to maaje se potty ki hogi.
Santa: kya khaak maaje se ki hogi radio par jan gan man adhinayak jai hai aa raha tha sala khade khade karni padi.
38
Kuch Log Toot Kar Chahte Hain,
Kuch Log Chah Kar Toot Jaate Hain,
Humein Tumse Hai Kitni mohabbat,
Kabhi Aao Hamare Paas Tumhein Batate Hain.
37
Vakil: Aap bata skti h woh kaun tha?
Girl: Raat me dikha nhi pr koi bahar ka tha.
Vakil: Kaise pata?
Girl: Itna bada hmare mohalle me kisi ka nhi h.
986
Imran Khan: Pehle mein apni wife ko B.A. karwaunga,
Phir M.A. phir PHD karwaunga,
Phir badhiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Kapil: Phir acchaa sa rishta dekh kar uski shaadi bhi karwa dena.
891
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
202
Why should I hire you?
680
Am I going to be a mentor or will I be mentored?
720
Santa: Shirt K Liye Kapda Dikhaiye.
Salesman: Plain Me Dikhau?
Santa: Nahi Helicopter Me Dikha Saale,
Sardar Dekha Ni Ki Mazak Shuru.
59
Girl: Do u have a girlfriend?
Man: Yes who r u?
Girl: Your wife jaldi ghar aa kaminey.
Another unknown call comes.
Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Man: No who r you?
Girl: Your girlfriend you cheat.
468
One boy to a dark girl Kitne kali ho.
The girl replies: Isme tere baap ka kya jata hai.
Boy: Agar mere baap ka gaya hota to gori HOTI.
867
I wish that God would hold you tight.
I hope that angels would keep you in sight.
Now just to make sure you feel all right,
I'm gonna blow you a sweet GoodNight.
956
Mom: Santa tu baal kyun nahi katwata?
Santa: Tum samajhti nahi ho, yeh fashion hai maa.
Mom: Arre idiot Ladke wale teri behan ko dekhne aaye the aur tujhe pasand kar gaye hain.
58
Girl to her engineer bf: Tum mujhe dhokha toh nhi doge na?
He: Ab tu bhi mera mazak udayegi?
Tujhe dhokha dene ke liye dusri kaha se launga?
41
Teacher Santa Ko Class Mein Khada Karti Hai Aur Kehti Hai,
Teacher: Santa, Can U Translate The Following Sentence In A Single English Word? Moti Larki Intezaar Kar Rahi Hai?
Santa: Oh It Is So Easy Motivating.
955
It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.
926
Hasrat hain sirf tumhe paane ki,
Aur koi khawahish nahi is deewane ki,
Shikwa mujhe tumse nahi khuda se hai,
Kya zarurat thi tumhe itna khubsurat banaane ki.
42
Khilkhilati subah,Tazgi se bhara savera H,
Fulo or baharo ne Apke liye rng bikhera H,
Subah keh rhi hai jaag jao,
Apki muskurahat k bina sab Adhura Hai.
GooD MoRNING.
989
RAJANIKANT says,
Yenna rascala, mind it,
wah wah.
RAJANIKANT says,
Yenna rascala, mind it.
ACP: Abhijit, lash yahi kahi hai, find it.
58
Santa Ek Ladki Ka Rape Kar Raha Tha,
Ladki Zor Zor Se Chilla Rahi Thi.
Santa Usko Bola: Chillao, Chillao Or Chillao, Yahan Se Tumhari Awaz Bahar Nahi Jaa Sakti.
Ladki Hairani Se Boli: Mujhe Tumhari Baat Par Yakeen Nahi Hai.
Santa Muskurate Hue Bola: To Fir Theek Hai, Mein Yahan Se Chillata Hun, Tum Bahar Jaake Suno, Aawaz Aati Hai Ya Nahi.
49
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