STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain..
Banta: Mast,kab…?
Santa: meri 7th dec ko
aur uski 13th feb ko.
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Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena
parega
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Santa To Banta: Wo Dukandar Logo Ko Lut-ta Hai
Banta:Q?
Santa: Maine Kal Usse Biscut Kharida Uspe Likha Tha Sugar Free
but us k under se Biscuit k siwa kuch nahi nikla
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Santa: Beth Kar Unki Zulfon Ke Saye Me
Swarg Jesa Anand Aya
Banta: Wah Wah Fir?
Santa: Biwi Ne Dekh Liya Or
Shaam Ko Hospital Me Hi Hosh Aaya
1
Santa: ladki phasani ati hay
Banta: nahi
Santa: 1 kagaz ka jahaz bana, use class me uda
Jab Mam puche to ladki
ka nam laga de
BAS FAS GAI LADKI
1
Santa opened a petrol pump,
but not even one customer went there.
You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they
Teacher:Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha?
Brothers: Madam tusi Fir kahoge nakal maar li
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Santa: Oye Kya Kr Raha He?
Banta: Is Baby Ki Aawaz Record Kar Raha Hon!
Santa: Wo Kyu?
Banta: Wo Jab Bada Ho JayeGa, Us Se is ka matlab puchunga
2
Girlfriend- Tum to bas apne kam me lage rehte ho..
Meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe!
Santa- Oye, Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte
2
Banta apna mobile samundar ke
pani me phekakar bolta hai,
“Aja, upar aja”.
His friend asked,
“Pani me se upar kaise ayega?”.
banta- Kyo nahi ayega, DOLPHIN hai.
1
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me
1
Banta 2 Santa: Oye Yeh Sent Msg Kya Hota Hai
Santa:
Jis Msg Mein Khushbo Ho Use Sent Msg Kehte Hai.
1
Banta: Have you ever seen a lie detector?
Santa: Yes, I married her!
1
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
1
Santa slapped Banta
.
Banta: did u slapped me seriously or for fun ?
Santa: seriously
Banta: bach gaya !
I wont accept Funny things with me
1
Santa:Tum mitti kyu khod rahe ho?
.
Banta:yaar,Dada ji ne kaha k maine unka naam mitti me mila diya hai,
bas wahi dhoond raha hu.
h
1
Santa: Mere Pass Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?
Banta: Mere Pass Bhi Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
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Santa: To Saaley Apni Maa Kiske Paas Hai?
1
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
2
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
1
Banta: Aise janvar ka naam batao, jo bilkul kutte jaisa dikhata hai…
lekin sirf 3 pero par chalta hai? socho...
Santa: simple… langada kutta !
2
Santa: Mohabbat ho Jati he Ya karni Padti he?
Banta: Ladki Sundar ho or Honda Activa Pe ho to ho jati he… Badsurat ho or Honda City Pe ho to karni padti hai.
1
Santa: agar tumhe 1 lakh mile to kya kroge?
Banta: toh mai khusi se pagal ho jaunga aur… zindgi bhar apna treatment karaunga.
1
AutoWala: Bus Stop Tak Ke 50/Rs.
Santa: Samaan Bhi Hai Saath Me.
Auto Wala: Samaan Free Hai.
Santa: OK, Samaan Le Chal… Mai Paidal Aata Hu.
1
Banta: Chaku Kyo Ubaal Rahe Ho?
Santa: Suicide Karne Ke Liye.
Banta: Phir Ubaalne Ki Kya Zarurat?
Santa: Kahi Infection Na Ho Jaye.
1
Santa: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya.
Banta: woh kaise?
Santa: Maine machchhardani bedroom main laga di…. Aur main hall me so gaya.
1
Santa: aaj TV per 30 feet ka Saap dikhange.
Banta: par me nahi dekh sakunga.
Santa: par kyo?
Banta: mera TV to shirf 21 Inch ka hi.
1
Ultimate Hit!!
Santa ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata hota hain ki uska Husband kaha
hain?
Santa ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya or bola
.
“Vidhwa Aurat….
1
Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
This 1 is a killer 1 …..
Teacher- beta batao britannia tiger biscuit pe jo green dot h uska matlab kya h.?
Student- iska matlab ki tiger online hai.?
1
Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga…
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..
1
Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.
Jamadar bola : 20 rs.
Santa -: Saale Bathroom mai baithta tha
CYBER CAFE main nahi..!
Teacher To Santa-
Isko Hindi mei translate karo
She is kidding
Santa hasne lga or table par hi
gir gya or bola.
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.itna asan
WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI
Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi
Hai..
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Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya
Phir Aansu Ponchte
Huwe
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Kitne Number Se ??
Santa to Banta:
Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo
seedha teri
bhabi ke dil per lage .
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… .
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… .
Banta: Goli mar de
1
Khatarnak insult..
GiRL to boy-
main kaisi lag rahi hu aaj??
Abhi beauty parlour se aayi hu..
.
.
Boy- toh??
Band tha kya ??
1
A sardar asked his frend,
"kya tumharay underwear mein suraakh hain?"
Frend replied "No"
Sardar said,
"to phir taangain kahan se daalta hai saalay...
1
Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya:
Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.
Sardar: Lo Batao,
Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)
1
Banta said to doctor: Pure jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in "Ungli"
1
A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko?
Sardar: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->
1
Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I?m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)
1
Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.
1
Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?
Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.
1
Sardar's Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Don't Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate "Bachelor Again".
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is "Married Again". .
1
Santa Ki Mah Ki Death Ho Gai,
Ek Saal Bad Santa Ka Baap America Sa Wapis Aya, Us Na Poucha Teri Mah Kahan Ha,
Santa Bola Wo To Pichlay Saal Hi Mar Gai Thi, Santa Ka Bap Ronay Lga Or Bola Kuttay,
Kaminay To Tu Na Mujhay Btaya Q Nhi, Santa Bola,
Me Na Socha Surprise Dun Ga...
1
Ek sardar darwaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha,
His wife askes him" y r u standing here".
Sardar ji bole "sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon."
Wife : "to jaao na!"
Sardar ji : "kese jaoon bahar Kutta khada hain!"
2
Sardar ji, apko logo ne kyon mara ?
Sardar: "arey yaar meri photo bus mein gir gai thi,
Maine kaha madam zara saari upar kijiye
Photo lena hai, bus?..
3
2sardar jungle me ja rha tha, Samne sher a gya 1 ne mitti uthai sher ki ankh me dal k bhagne lga.
2nd wahen khara rha
1st:abhey bhag
2nd: me q bhagon, mitti tune dali hai..
1
Banta Roz Apne Kitchen Mein Jata Aur Sugar Box Kholta Aur Band Kar Deta Tha!
Why?
Kyon Ke Doctor Ne Jo Kaha Tha Ke Apni Sugar Roz Check Karna...
1
Sardar: Bhagwan Chandigarh nu America di capital bana de. Plz plz plz…
Banta: Par kyun???
Sardar: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..
1
Election Discussions-
Santa: Election ki date fix ho gayi hai.
Banta: Toh kya hua…
Santa:
Us din pata chal jaayega ki,
Mohalle ki kaun kaun si ladkiyaan 18 saal ki ho gayi hain!!
1
1 Aadmi train se utar ke sardar se puchta hai: Ye kaun sa station hai?
Sardar Ne socha socha,
bahot soocha Or bola
Railway Station hai
1
Wife:Please bike taze na chalao
mujhey dar lag raha hay.
Santa: Agar tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay
to meri tarah ankhein band kar lay.............
1
Banta: In my dreams Rats play Football every night !
Doctor: Take this tablet you will be ok….
Banta: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is Final Match
1
Santa was working 1st time in a garment shop.
Customer girl asked: Underwear dikhana plz.
Santa Sharmakar: G aaj nahi pehni.
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