STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
santa- chal race lagate hai, jo harega wo 1000rs dega..
banta- thik hai, pr mujhe rasta nhi pata..
santa- bas tm mere piche- piche rahna.
banta- dhanywad..
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santa- kaal papa kuwe mai gir gaye bahut chot lagi bahut chilla rahe the..
banta- ab wo kaise hai?
santa- thik hi honge kaal se kuwe se koi awaj nhi aaye..
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santa- kaal koi meri patni k purse se 2000rs nikal kr le gaya..
banta- wo jhuth bol rahi hai purse 1500rs hi the..
santa- paise ka masla nhi hai bas tm ush aadmi ka pata kr do..
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banta- mai apna dimag bilkul change kr liya hai..
santa- apne bahut acha kiya, kyuki apka pehla dimag ghatiya tha...
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santa- window sw jaldi kudo,police aa rahi hai..
banta- lakin ye 13th floor hai.
santa- ye sagun afsagun sochne ka tym nhi hai,jaldi kudo...
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banta- durdarsan wale bore program kyu dekhate hai?
santa- kyuki wo bacho ki sehat ka khayal rakhte hai. bore program bache dekhte nhi ishliye jaldi so jate hai...
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santa- radio kabhi newspaper ki jagah nhi le sakta..
banta- kyu?
santa- kyuki radio se kabhi aag nhi jalaye ja sakti....
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santa- kya tm mujhe 100rs udhar de sakte ho?
banta- nhi mai kisi ko udhar nhi deta..
santa- to nagad hi de do...
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santa- hm pati-patni tamil sekhna chahte hai..
banta- woh kyu? santa- hmne ek tamil bacha goud liya hai. hm sochte hai jab wo bolne lage ushse pehle hm tamil sekh le,,
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santa- ap to hindi mai kafi tej hai, mujhe ye bataeye dwand kya hota hai?
banta- dwand aise jode ko kehte hai jishme hamesha virodh rehta hai, jaise- sukh -dukh, sardi-garmi. santa- pati-patni...
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santa- apki patni kyu bhag gayi?
banta- pata nhi! mai bathroom mai nahane gaya aur wo bhag gayi..
santa- lagta hai aisa mauke k liye bechri salo intzar krti rahi.....
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banta- pehle to ap logo ko bahut haste the lakin ab kya ho gaya?
santa- meri shadi ho gayi....
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santa- mai to samjhta tha ki ap bade sarif aadmi hai..
banta- mai bhi apko sarif samjhta tha..
santa- ap to thik samjhe the, mai hi galat samjha tha..
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santa- apk ghar mai kaun kaun rehta hai?
banta- mai meri patni,meri saas, meri 7 saliya.
santa- phir to ap usi waqt muh kholte honge jab jamahi leni ho ya chik marni ho..
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banta- ye letter tm kise likh rahe ho? santa- khud ko. banta- ishme kya likha hai?
santa- malum nhi... santa- kyu? banta- abhi mujhe mili kaha hai...
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banta- ap kya kr rahe ho? santa- ish baby ki awaj record kr raha hu.. banta- wo kyu?
santa- wo jb bada ho jayega ,ushse ishka matlab puchunga..
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banta- gajni mai amir ne itni solid body kaise banaye hogi?
santa- jab wo gym se wapas ata tha to 15 mint k baad bhul jata tha aur phir waps gym chala jata tha..
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banta- khusiya kya hoti hai?
santa- pata nhi,meri to kaam age mai hi shadi hogayi thi..
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Santa – Bachpan Me Maa Ki Baat Suni Hoti To Aaj Ye Din Na Dekhne Padte..!!
Banta – Kya Kahti Thi Maa?
Santa – Jab Baat Hi Nahi Suni To Mujhe Kya Pata, Kya Kahti Thi.!!!
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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaari gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
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Police Station Mein Dhobi Ne Santa Ke Khilaf Complaint Kari
Dobhi Rote Hue: “Is Saale Santa Ne Meri Biwi Ki Ijjat Lutt Li”
Police Wala: “Kyu Be, Kyu Kiya Tune Esa?”
Santa: “Sir Ji, Meri Koi Galti Nahi Hai. Main To Kapde Press Karvane Gaya Thha”
Police Wala: “Firr?”
Santa: “Mene Isko Awaj Lagayi To Ye Bola Ki, Main Khana Kha Raha Hun Istri Garam Hai Khud Maar Lo“
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Santa Ka Ek Dost Bahut Bade Shopping Maal Mein Salesman Tha, Ek Din Santa Ne Usko Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Koi Aisi Scheme Nahi Hai, Jismein 5000 Rs Ki Khareed Par Sex Free Ho?”
Uska Dost Hairan Hote Hue Santa Se Bola: “Abe Tujhe Nahi Pata Kya, Ye Scheme To Last Month Thi, Aur Babhi Ne To Iska Fayda Pure 8 Baar Uthaya“
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Ek Bar Santa Mele Dekhne Shehar Gaya
Waha Do Lines Lagi Thi Ek Mein Likha Tha: “Dekhne Ke 20 Rs”
Doosri Mein Likha Tha: “Karne Ke 10 Rs”
Santa 10rs De Kar Ghoos Gaya
Use Waha Ek Bakri Di Gayi Chodne Ko, Santa Ne Use Choda Aur Chala Gaya
Doosre Din Wo 20 Rs De Kar Dekhne Wali Line Mein Chala Gaya
Aage Wale Se Pooochaa: “Bhai Yaha Kya Dikhate Hain”
Aage Wala Bola: “Pata Nahi Aaj Kya Dikhayenge, Kal To Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Chodte Dikhaya Tha“
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Doctor Asks Santa To Give His Urine, Stool & Sperm Sample For His Yearly Checkup
Santa: “I’m In A Hurry Doctor, Can I Leave My Underwear Here“
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Santa Bada Dukhi Sa Hokar Apne Ek Khas Doctor Dost Ke Pass Jata Hai Aur Apni Samsya Batata Hai
Santa: “Doctor Sahab, Koi Sasta Trika Batao Pregnency Rokne Ka?”
Doctor: “Condom Lo”
Santa: “Mahanga Hai”
Doctor: “Mala Di Lo”
Santa: “Ye Bhi Mahangi Hai”
Doctor: “Nasbandi Karwa Lo”
Santa: “Ye Bhi Kafi Mahangi Hai”
Doctor Gusse Se: “To kal se bibi ke sath sona chor do”
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Santa Ke Ghar Jab Pappu Hua To Uski Kunwari Saali Kuch Din Rahne Ke Liye Uske Ghar Aayi
Ek Din Santa Ne Apni Sali Ko Bola: “Teri Didi Busy Hai, Tu Pappu Ko Doodh Hi Pila De”
Sali Hairan Hokar: “Jija Ji, Mere Ko To Doodh Hi Nahi Aata”
Santa Bhi Hairan Ho Gaya: “Kamal Hai, Display To Bahut Bhari Hai Aur Stock Kuch Bhi Nahi?“
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Santa Ki Wife Tours & Travels Magazine Padhte Hue Boli.
Wife: “Is Baar 2nd Honeymoon Ke Liye Greece Try Karen”
Santa: “Kyo? Sarson Ke Tel Mein Kya Kharabi Hai“
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Santa Se Kisi Interview Pe Chaar Cheeze Puchi Gayi
Ki Bataye Ki Aapki Strength, Weakness, Opportunity & Threat Kya Hai
Santa Ne Bada Soch Samajh Ke Jawab Diya
Strength – My Wife, Preeto.
Weakness – Bantas Wife, Jeeto.
Opportunity – When Banta Is On Tour.
Threat – When I Am On Tour.
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Santa Ke Ghar Ek Kuttiya Thi Aur Vo Pregnant Thi,
Santa Roj Bhagwan Se Prathna Karta Tha Ke: “Hey Bhagwan Kutta Ya Kuttiya Hi Ho”
Banta Ne Ek Din Use Ye Kahte Suna To Badi Hairani Se Bola.
Banta: “Abe Is mein Mangne Wali Kya Baat Hai? Kutta Ya Kutti Hi To Honge”
Santa Sharmate Hue: “Nahi Yaar, Beech-Beech Mein Main Bhi Pange Le Liya Karta Tha“
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Banta apni biwi k office gaya to usne dekha k uski biwi boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Banta:- Chal preeto, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna jahan staff ke liye kursi bhi na ho.
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Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Santa : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto (Wife) : Tu yahan ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ek tumari aag nahin bujati he.
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Ek Girl Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha
Aamul – The Taste Of India.
Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush Hua,
Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya
Kurkure – TTedha Hai Par Mera Hai.
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Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap ye achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta Madam!.
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Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai
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Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.
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SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala:ha,
santa:acha vala hai,
Lala:ha,
Santa: achi quality ka hai,
Lala:ha bhai ha,
Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..
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santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar
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Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi
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Captain of Military: Naujawano aage bado;
Santa aage nahi bada;
Captain: tum aage kyu nahi bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawano aage bado, mein 10ve
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Santa: Mujhe Tou Aankhey Band Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai.
Banta: Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai?
Santa: Andhera
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Santa:
maine mere beta ka naam AMERICA rakha hai
Banta:
kyun?
Santa:
me duniya ko dikhana chahta hu k me AMERICA ka BAAP hoon
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Santa to Girl: Aapki Surat Bilkul Meri Biwi Se Milti He.
Girl Slapped Santa.
Santa: Kamal he.. Aadatein bhi Milti he
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Teacher : Santa batao `M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
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Teacher 2 Santa : Wht Iz Ur Father Name?
Santa : “Google Singh”
Teacher: Y 2 Strange?
Santa : Saala Hr Waqt Mujhay Dhondta Jo Rehta Hai.
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Santa to bill Gates:
Tusi bade pagal ho!
Gates: y?
Santa: surname Gates rakha hai. Or business WINDOWS ka
karde ho
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Santa: mai tere mobile se apni girl friend ko sms bheju,
dekhte hain kya kahti hai?
Banta: No yar, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to…?
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Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta:Dont warry, I have one more.
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Banta: Ye chithi tum kise likh rahe ho?
Santa: khud ko
Banta: Isme kya likha hai?
Santa: malum nahi
Banta: kyu?
Santa: Abhi mujhe mili kaha hai ?
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Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua,ro kyu rohe ho
Santa: Yar jis ladki ko bhulaneke liye pe raha
tha uska naam yad nhi aa raha
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Santa: Meine shadi isliye ki,
kyunki me Kapde aur Bartan dho dhoke thak gaya tha.
Banta: Ajeeb baat hai,
maine isi wajah se “divorce” liya!
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