STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Santa- Kal me film dekh Aya,
film achi thi par film ka naam bada ajib tha
Frnd-Kya naam tha
Snta- Badi Gaand
Frnd- abe vo badi gaand nhi"BODYGUARD" hai.
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Tantrik to santa: Beta tumhare ghar par chudail ka vaas hai..
Santa: Baba, main thappad maar dunga jo meri biwi ke baare me kuchh kaha to..
1
Santa : jungle mein sher k baal lambey Q hote h.
.
Banta: Qki jungle mein nai nhi hote.
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Santa-Jab Mai Mar Jau To Samne Wale Ghar Ki Family Ko Zarur Bulana..
Banta-Kyon?
Santa-Yaar Unke Ghar Ki Ladkiya bahut Lipat-Lipat Kar Roti HAI.
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Santa National flag lene gaya.
Flag dekh k santa kuch to bola jise sunke dukanwala behosh ho gaya!
.
.
.
Santa bola isme aur colour dikhao.
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Banta:how did u got a new car? Santa:A girl drove me to a beach,
took her cloth & and said: take what do u want & i
took car banta: good yaar kapde ki karne si.
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Santa: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
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Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
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Santa saw a beautiful gal...he went and smooched her.
Gal- What are you doing?
Santa: Law,4th semester from Punjab University.
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Santa public toilet gaya Diwar p likha tha
Duniya Chand p pahuch gai or Tum yha bethe ho?
Santa niche likh aya Bas Ye kr k Ham b ja rhe h.
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1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi,
Santa ne Window se Dekha,
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?
.
.
Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi
mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye
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Banta: Week Mai Ek Baar Meri Patni
Se Mera Jhagda Jarur Hota Hai.
Aur Apka?
Santa: Mera Mahine Baad Hota
Hai, Kyuki Mujhe
Salary Mahine Baad Milti Hai.
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Santa Says: Duniya Ka Har Ek
Insan Apne Paav Bhigoye Bina
Shyad Smundar Paar Kar Skta Hai,
Lekin Ankhe Bhigoe Bina Pyar Nahi
Kar Skta Aaj Santa Serious Hai.
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Police: Hume Aapke Ghar Ki
Talaashi Leni Hai,
Suna Hai Aapke Ghar Me Visfotak
Saamagri Hai..?
Santa: Khabar To Bilkul Pakki Hai,
Par Abhi Wo Maayke Gayi Hui Hai!
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Santa: Dekh Teri Biwi Ko Saap Kaat
Raha Hai..
Banta: Abey Wo Kaat Nahi Raha,
Uska Zeher Khatam Ho Gaya Hai
To Wo Recharge Karwane Aaya Hai!
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Santa Was Driving Car Very Fast,
Traffic Police Caught Him..
Santa: Sir, I Am Learning Driving..
Police: Without Teacher.?
Santa: Ya, Its Correspondence Course!
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Santa: I Lost Rs 1000 In A Bet..
Banta: How..?
Santa: On Cricket Match I Bet
Rs 500 And Lost..
Banta: Where Did The Rest Go.?
Santa: I Bet On The Highlight Too!
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Jeeto: What Do U Think About
Our Love..?
Santa: Try To Count The Stars
In The Sky..
Jeeto: Wow, So Its Infinite..
Santa: No Baby,
Its A Waste Of Time..!
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Manager: What Is Your
Qualification..?
Santa: Sir I Am PHSD..
Manager: What Do U Mean By
PHSD..?
Santa: Passed Hight School
With Difficulty..!
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Santa: Chal Race Lagte Hai Jo
Haara Wo 1000 Rs. Dega..
Banta: Thik Hai Par Mujhe
Raasta Nhi Pata, Santa: Bas Tu
Mere Piche Piche Rehna. Banta:
Thanks Yaar Ur My Best Fend...!
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Santa Ke Wife Raat Ko Bed Pe
Sokar Boli Aaj Kuch Aisa
Karo Ke Mere Passeney Chuut
Jaye.. Santa Utha
Aur FAN Band Kar Ke So Gya.!
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Santa: Yaar Banta Kon Se Cast Ke
Log Desh Ke Acche Nagrik Hote Hai ?
Banta: Yaar Baniye...
Santa: Wo Kaise...?
Banta: Yaar Har Jagha Likha Hota
Hai Desh Ke Acche Nagrik Baniye!
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Santa 500 Ke Note Pe Likha Number
Dial Kar Rha Tha,
Banta: Ye Tum Kya Kar Rhe Ho..?
Santa: Yaar Main Dekh Rha Hoon
Gandhi Ji To Chale Gye Par
Unka Mobile Kise Ke Paas Hai!
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Santa: Yaar Banta Ye Shaadi
Ke Jode Kon Banta Hai..?
Banta: Aasmaan Me Bahgwan Bante Hai,
Santa: O Teri Yaar, Galti Ho Gye
Banta: Kyu..!
Santa: Main To Darji Ko De Aaya..!
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Banta: Yaar 2 Baar Tere
Restaurant Me Aaya, Par Dono
Baar Taala Laga Hua Tha..??
Banta: Tu Lunch Time Me Aaya
Hoga, Us Waqt Main Khana
Khane Ghar Chala Jaata Hoon..!
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Santa Kari Chawal Kha Rha Tha,
Ek Makkhi Us Par Baithne
Lagi.. Santa Use Udate Hue
Bola: Chal Pagli Ye Wo
Nhi H Jo Tu Samajh Rahi Hai..
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Santa: Biwi Se Ladai Khatm
Ho Gyi Kya?
Banta: Haa, Ghutne Tek K
Aayi Thi Mere Paas.
Santa: Achha? Kaise?
Bnta: Boli, Bed K Niche
Se Niklo, Ab Nhi Marungi.
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Santa calls customer care.....
Sir mere bhai ne mera sim kha liya aur 'DELHI' bhag gaya,
CusCare:- To main kya karu?
Santa:- Ji puchna ye tha ki roaming to nahi lagegi??
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Santa's Girl To Santa
.
GF : chalo hum car me long drive pe
chalte hai...
.
Santa : Nhi, Bike pe chalte hai..
.
GF : Kyo.??
.
Santa : kyo ki pagli..usme KICK hai..!!
1
IIT exam, santa got one
question
Prove Sin x = 6n
santa cancelled 'n' from both
the sides.
Then six = 6
&
wrote "Kuch to standard
rakha karo IIT ke question
ka"
1
Santa: mere frnd ne chupke se
Mere mobile se meri gf ka no:le
liya.
Banta: fir kya hua..?
Santa: Bewakoof kal raat se
Apni bahen ko Romantic msgs bhej
raha hai.
ha
ha
ha
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Banta: I am struggling to find a good birthday present for my wife.
Please suggest something that would simply surprise her!
Santa: How about a divorce?
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Santa BANK me aake so gaya Puchho Q.?
Qki..
Usne Board par advertise padhi ki..
Yaha SONE par LOAN milta Hai..
1
Santa Zebra Crossing Ke Black & White Lines Par
Baar-Baar Idhar-Udhar Chal Raha Tha,
Aur
Soch Raha Tha Ki
Sala Ye Piano Bajta Kyo Nahi.
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Santa: It's too late in the night. You better stay over here only.
Banta: It makes sense. I better get my night-suit from my house.
Santa: Good. Come soon.
kutte ne seat se hilne bhi nahi diya!
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Banta: Suggest some good movie?
Santa: Snakes on a plane.
Banta: What's it about?
Santa: Horses... horses on a boat.
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Banta: As soon as women see me, they want to get in shape to impress me.
Santa: That's really impressive. Exactly, what do they do?
Banta: They start running.
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Santa: My internet speed was very slow. I found a solution.
Banta: Tell me also. Even my net is slow.
Santa: I have installed a wallpaper of Rajinikanth. Now I am enjoying the speed of a 3G connection.
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Santa: My wife's a magician.
Banta: Really?
Santa: Yep, she can turn anything into an argument.
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Santa: My wife can multi-task.
Banta: Really?
Santa: Yeah, she can take a phone call, tidy her hair and crash her car, all at the same time.
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Santa: I respect blind people.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Because they judge others by their personality, not by their looks.
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Santa: Yes, Officer.
Police Officer: Didn't you see the "Speed Limit" sign?
Santa: I did see the sign. I just didn't see you.
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Santa: I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman.
Banta: What's stopping you?
Santa: But I don't feel like getting married 3 times. || jokes on santa banta ||
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Santa: They say, "Milk gives you strength".
Banta: That's right.
Santa: So I drank 5 glasses & still couldn't move a wall.
I tried 6 shots of vodka & saw the wall move by itself!
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Santa rings the fire brigade. He says, "My house is on fire".
Officer: How do we get there?
Santa: In the big red truck.
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Santa: Women are like microwaves.
Banta: How? Because they cook food?
Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health.
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Pappu: Ma'm, I want to go to the toilet.
Teacher: I want to hear A-Z from you before I let you go.
Pappu: ABCDEFGHIJKLMN_ _QRS_UVWX_Z!
Teacher: Where is P, O, T, Y?
Pappu: In my pant.
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Santa: I just wish my wife could look down from Heaven and see me now.
Banta: What are you talking about? She's still alive.
Santa: Exactly, that's why it is a wish!
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Pappu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Santa: I think so. What is it you want me to write?
Pappu: Your name on this report card.
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Santa: My wife said to me those words every man dies to hear.
Banta: What did she say?
Santa: I'm leaving you and I'm taking the kids. || jokes on santa banta ||
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