STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
WiFe On Phone
To SaNTa-
AaPKi YaaD Me
15 DiN Me
AaDhi MaR Gai Hu
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AaP
GhaR KaB
Aa RaHe Ho..?
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SaNTa-
15 DiN BaaD
Aa RaHa Hu,,"
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Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
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Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more.
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
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Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.
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Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!
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Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...
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Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
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Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
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Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
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Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
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Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
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A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on Escalators.
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Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
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Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
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Santa to Banta:
Yaar, Sir ka msg aaya hai ki
aaj extra class hogi kya karu!
Santa: “Message sending fail”
likh ke bhej de.
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Santa pe bijli ki taar gir gayi:
Santa tadap tadap ke mrne hi wala tha.
ki
Use yaad aaya..
bijli to 2 din se bnd hai,
wapas uth gaya or bola:
Sala! dara diya..!!
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Santa: Tum Chinese jaisi kyu dikhti ho!
Girl: Mere dad Chinese the.
Santa: Wo kaha hai!
Girl: Mar gaye.
Santa: Oh! Aakhir China ka maal tha, chalta bhi kitna!
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Girl to Santa
tumhare bina mera Zee nahi lagta..
Santa: ZEE nahi lagta toh,
SONY Ya STAR PLUS laga le..!!
Ye ladkiya bhi na..
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Santa Dials a Number..
A girl received
Santa: Hello Kaun?
Girl: Main Seeta
Santa: O teri!!
Ye to Ayodhya Lag Gaya..
Sorry “MAATE”..!!
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Santa: Miss kya Aap mujhey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss call :D
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Aurto se bhari hui 1bus palat gyi, sari mar gyin.
Sab k husband 1-1 ghanta roye par Santa 2 ghanta roya..
Q?
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Q k
santa ki wife se bus miss ho gyi thi;-)
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Teacher-santa,agar samundar me nimbu kaa ped ho to nimbu kaise todoge. santa-chidiya bankar. Teacher-insaan ko chidiya tumhara baap banayga? Santa-samundar me ped aapka baap banayga.
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Santa-banta ek dawat me gaye...
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Ek aadmi ne pucha : aap dono
kaun...???
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Santa : mai ladke walo ki taraf se...
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Banta : aur mai ladki walo ki
tarafse...
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Aadmi : kamino aj mere baap ki
13vi h yaha...
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Santa Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.
Ladki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??
Santa- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..
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Sardar: Yar Mere Bal Boht Gir Rahe Hain
Frnd: Wo Kyun?
Sardar: Fikr Se?
Frnd: Konsi Fikr Hai Tume?
Sardar: Bal Girne Ki Fikr Se:-)
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Santa:Mujhe Tou Aankhey
Band Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai.
Banta:Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai?
Santa:Andhera.
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SArdar In UK Hotel Khana Khane Gia
Wo Murgi Khana Chahta Tha Lekin Murgi Ki English Bhol Gia
Thy Askd Wht Do U Want SRdar G?
SArdar Replid: Éggs'' Mother
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Santa - Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai,
Sara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta- Soja-Soja Ghar Girega
To Makaan Maalik Ka,
Hum To Kirayedar Hain..
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Santa-Oye Kya Kr Raha Ho?
Banta-Is Baby Ki Aawaz Record Kr Raha Hun!
Santa-Kyun?
Banta-Wo Jab Bada Ho Jaega,Use Iska Matlab Puchunga
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Santa- Yaar!
A Auratein Sharab
Se Nafrat Q Karati Hai?
Banta- Islye Ki,
Sharab Pine Ke
Baad Chuhe Jaisa
Pati Bhi Sher
Ho Jata Hai.
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Teacher:Wo Kon C Cheez Hay
Jo Insan Ke Izzat Ko Mazbooti
Say Jakray Rakhti Hay?
Sardar Je: MISS
"NARRA":-)
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Sardar Ki Maa
Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se
Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga
Aur
Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din Wo B Naye Car Se
Srdar : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi
Pagal Hein Janay K Liay 4 Gear
Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Revers) Gear.
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Santa Shouting 2 His GF
" U Said V Will Do Register
Marriage And Cheated Me,
I Was Waiting 4 U
Yesterday Whole Day
In The Post Office...."
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Sardar Was Sleeping In His
Bed Room With His Wife
Why Are You Scrolling Down
So Fast.
Let Him Sleep With His Wife
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Santa flight me pilot ka
headphone cheen raha tha...
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Pilot:-Ye kya kar rahe ho..?.
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Santa:- Accha ji Ticket hum le
aur Gaane tum suno...!!
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Boss- Mere liye ak shisha lekar aao jisme main
apna muh dekh sakun..
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Santa- nahi mila sir.! Sab me mera hi muh dikh
raha hai..
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Inteligent Santa
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SANTA 1 Kilo Jalebi Khane Ke
Baad Bola: "Bhaiya Thodi Cheeni Do"..
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DUKANDAR: Cheeni Kyun???
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SANTA: "Soch Raha HU, Khane Ke
Baad Kuch Mitha Ho JAAYE"
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पप्पू, संता से: पापा यह कॉल गर्ल्स किसे कहते हैं?
संता (हैरान होकर): कॉल गर्ल्स, बेटा कॉल गर्ल्स टेलीफोन एक्सचेंज में काम करने वाली लड़कियों को कहते हैं। लेकिन यह अनोखा सवाल तुम्हे कैसे सूझा?
पप्पू: पहले आप बताइए कि यह अनोखा जवाब आपको कैसे सूझा?
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Santa :Meri Bevi Itna Mazak Krti Hy
K Kya Bataon
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DosT:Kya Mazak Krti Ha?
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SAnta :Kal Mai Ghar Gya Uski
Ankhon Par Hath Rakha Or Wo
Mazak Ma Boli
Dudhwala.
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संता लंगड़ाता हुआ जा रहा था और उसके कपड़े
फटे हुए थे...
बंता ने पूछा: क्या हुआ भाई? यह हालत कैसे
हुई तुम्हारी?
संता: क्या बताऊं यार, बीवी को मुझे पिटवाने
की नई तरकीब सूझी थी!
बंता: कैसी तरकीब?
संता: बीवी ने मुझे झाड़ू खरीदने भेजा था।
वापस आ रहा था, तो बीजेपी कार्यकर्ताओं ने
मुझे आप का कार्यकर्ता समझ लिया!
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संता पैराशूट बेच रहा था.....
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आइए...आइए...इससे आप जमीन पर कूद सकते हैंऔर एक बटन दबाते
ही लैंडिंग कर सकते हैं और इस पैराशूट से किसी भी खतरनाक स्थिति में आप सुरक्षित बच सकते हैं.....
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कस्टमर- और अगर ये ओपन न हुआ तो....
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संता-पैसे वापस...!!
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Ek bar santa station pr train ka wait kr rha tha. Tvi ek ladka usse time
puchta h.
Ladka-- uncle tim kya h rha.h?
Santa-- sorryy
Ladka-- uncl time?
Santa-- sorry Ladka-- pr ku aap ni bta rhe h?
Santa-- isliye ki agr mai time bta diya to tm mjhse mra naam puchoge.
Fir bat badegi. Hm dono dost ban jaynge. Fir hm frank ho jayge. Fir kya
pata hm dono ek hi station pr jaye. Wha mri beti mjhe reciev krne
ayegi. Tm mri beti se dosti kr loge jo bahuut sundr h. Fir pyar kr loge. Fir
mjhe shadi krne k liye dabao daloge. Aur mai ye nhi chahta ki tm mre damad bano kuki tm bahut laparwah ho jiske hath me ek time btane
wali ghadi nhi h.
Wo mra damad nhi ban sakta.
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Ladka sock hokr behosh ho jata h.
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Shaadi mein santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge ?
Sardar - Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....par card me likha hai,
"Dinner 7-12pm"
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