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Rehan's Joke
Harmful

Funny jokes from daily life -
A shotDoc, isn t it harmful to drink a shot before eating?
No it s not, if you don't eat too often.

Jun,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
YU Life


Value peopl who touchd ur
lyf
BCz u nvr knw whn dey ll b out of ur life to nvr cm bck
So take care of ME vrna
Fir kahoge
Behti Hawa Sa Tha Vo

 

Jun,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sunder Ladkey

Do Sunder Ladkey
Dono Ek Rang Key
Ek Bichhad Jaaye
Toh Dusraa Kaam Naa Aaye.
Ans: Joota

Jun,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Work At Computer


For continuous work at computer, a work break of 5 to 10 min/hr is recommended

Jun,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bus Me


A lady walking on road,
Chatting on whatsapp,
with her left bObO open
Policeman- ye kya hai?
Lady- O shitt, munna to bus me hi reh gaya.

 

Jun,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Purani Soch


Purani soch-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?

 

Jun,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dikhane Ke Liye

Pyar Zindgi Ko Sajane Ke Liye Ha
Zindgi Dard Badhane Ke Liye Hai
Kash Koi To Padh Pata Meri Udasi Ko
Ye Hansta Hua Chehra To Sirf Dikhane Ke Liye Ha

Jun,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sit Down Quietly

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kisko Bachaayenge

Game Show Host: Agar aapki biwi aur saas par koi tiger hamla kar de to aap kisko pehle bachaayenge?
Pappu: Beshak tiger ko, aakhir bechare bache hi kitne hain.

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ghuma Kar Peechhe

Girl to riksha wala :Q bhai jaye ga ?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga, abhi abhi to oil laga kar khada kia hai
Girl : to phir Ghuma kar peechay le lo.


Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
call Ambulance

Hubby: Call Ambulance! I am having a heart attack

Wife: Okay! Give me your mobile password

Hubby: Its okay I am good.
Men will be men…

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Swimming

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!
Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai.
Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Antim Sanskar

एक महिला दूसरी महिला से – क्या तुम्हारी सास बीमार थी कैसे मर गई ?
दूसरी महिला पहली महिला से – दरअसल अतिम संस्कार के समानो मे पचास परसेंट की छूट चल रही थी सो मेरी सास ने उसी का फायदा उठाया और मर गई

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tere Hi Naam Honge

Waqt Aur Khushi Tere Gulam Honge
Ye Pal Ye Pehlu Tere Hi Naam Honge
Dekhna Kabhi Jhuk Kar Neeche Bhi Ae Humsafar
Tere Har Kadam Ke Neeche Mere Haathon Ke Nishan Honge.

Jun,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tere Hi Naam Honge

Waqt Aur Khushi Tere Gulam Honge
Ye Pal Ye Pehlu Tere Hi Naam Honge
Dekhna Kabhi Jhuk Kar Neeche Bhi Ae Humsafar
Tere Har Kadam Ke Neeche Mere Haathon Ke Nishan Honge.

Jun,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Zindagi Ko Jeena

Zindagi Zakhmo Se Bhari Hai,
Waqt Ko Marham Banana Seekh Lo.
Harna Toh Hai Hi Maut Ke Hatho Ekdin,
Filhaal Zindagi Ko Jeena Seekh Lo.

Jun,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
3 चोर

पत्नी – कल रात 3 चोर आए और मेरा रेप करके चले गए.
पति – तुमने उन्हें रोका नहीं ?
पत्नी – बहुत रोका पर वो बोले अब और ताकत नहीं है, अब कल आएंगे

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Zindagi Kaa Kaam

Hasna Zindagi Kaa Kaam Nahi Naam Hai Yaaro .
Hasna Zindagi Kaa Kaam Nahi Naam Hai Yaaro
ACP Pradyuman bole Daya se
Pura ghar theek se chaan maaro.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Admission

Girl: Tum Kya Karte ho?
Boy: Bahut Bade College Mein Logo Ka Admission Karwata Hun.
Girl: Kaun Se College?
Boy: IIN Recharge Ki Dukan Hai Apni.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kiss

This year, I want to be kissed in the rain by him.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Touch her regularly and on the spur of the moment.

Even the slightest touch can make a woman feel special. Make sure it's a respectful and gentle touch, and not one that's overly sexual or suggestive.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Indian Railways

The total distance covered by the 14,300 trains on the Indian Railways everyday, equals three & half times the distance to moon

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Reminding Them

In this world everybody makes mistakes...
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Night Whisper

The sun has gone to bed,
The stars rule the skies.
May the gentle breeze of the night whisper
sweet scripts to u and gently nudge Ur eyes 2 sleep.
Good Night and sweet dreams.

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Auraton Ka Diwana

Girl to Boy: Kya shaadi k baad bi
tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Boy: Kyon nahin?
Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shekhar Kapur

Shekhar Kapur was originally engaged to be married to Shabana Azmi but it didn't work out.

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Papa Bhi Vahan The
एक लड़का रात को देर से घर लौटा।

मां ने पूछा: कहां से आ रहा है ?

लड़का:  कैबरा  डांस देखने गया था।

मां:  हे भगवान् ! तुमने कोई ऐसी चीज तो नहीं देख ली जो तुमको नहीं देखनी चाहिए थी।

लड़का: हां मैंने देखी थी। मां: ” क्या देखा ?”

लड़का: ” यही कि पापा भी वहीं पर थे “।
May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Izazat De Do

Chand sa chehra dekhne ki ijazat de do,
Mujhe yeh sham sajane ke ijazat de do,
Mujhe qaid kar lo apne ishq mein
Ya fir Mujhe ishq karne ke ijazat de do…


May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Changing BatteryOf Camera

In an African Safari A LION suddenly bounced on Ramu wife.
WIFE-Shoot him Shoot him
Ramu-Yes Yes.I Am changing d battery of my camera.

May,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Achhi Nurse

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

May,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Solid Insult

Husband Apni Saas Se Baat Karta Hai
Aapki Beti Mein To Hazaron Kamiyan Hain.

Saas: Haan Beta, Isi Vajah Se to Use Achcha Ladka Nahi Mila.

May,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Height of Embarrassment

Height of Embarrassment
Man sitting with his wife in park,
Another lady comes to his wife and says
Paise pehle le lena
Ye admi bad me Bahut lafda krta hai

May,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Khud Hil Lunga

Prosti :" 200 rupay loongi! , hil- hil ke doongi. " 
Client :" 100 rupay doonga, hil main khud loonga.

May,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Longest Toilet

Which is longest toilet in d world.

Ans: Indian Railway Track
U can use it frm kashmir 2 kanya-kumari.
Aaisi aazadi aur kahan. 

May,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Chocolate

Sala girlfriend banane k baad pata Chala ki 30 rupay se jyada ki bhi chocolate aati hai.

May,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wife Ke Liye Ya Branded

Only a Man understands another Man..

Customer- I want to buy a Ladies Watch

Shopkeeper- Sir, wife ke liye chahiye ya Branded dikhaun.. 

May,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mushkile khatam

Biwi ne namaaz padhkar dua ke liye haath uthaye, par kuchh nahin manga aur haath neeche kar liye!
Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..
“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”
Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”
Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
kaam zaroori hai

Main: Hello bhai kya haal hai?
Dost: Mast bhai, tu suna?
Main: Yaar ek kaam tha….
Dost: Haan to karle, baad mein baat kar liyo, kaam zaroori hai

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Study Improve Kare

Intelligent Ladko Se Ladkiyan Impress Hoti Hai Issliye Aap Apni Study Improve Karke Ladkiyon Ko Impress Kar Sakte Hai.

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pregnant Prostitute

Economics teacher: Give an example of complete business failure due to carelessness.
Student: A pregnant prostitute.

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Collage Classroom

Lecture in a medical college classroom: "man's sperms contains gluvose"1 of the female student had genuine doubt and ask then y its doesn't taste sweet???

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Plastic Surgery

Gf : kaisi lagg rahi hu mai? 
Bf : bohot sundar tumhe makeup ki koi zaroorat nahi hai.. 
Gf : sachhi
Bf : haa.. actually tumhe plastic surgery ki jaroorat hai..!! 

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Lunch And Dinner

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Depth Of Mine.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cat In Hospital

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
T-shirt quotes

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
U r ULLU

U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ……
U r ULLU !!!

May,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mast Shayri

Maar chaddapa bed wich aaja, kacchi la ke bund dikhaja, 
Ni kudiye raand diye.... 
Kodi hokay lun pawaja kudiye raand diye.

May,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
VICKS INHALER

What is the long thing that has a hole at the tip & being 
inserted 
into a deep, slimy hairy hole 
and can make u feel better ?

VICKS INHALER ! 

May,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Self Control
A TRUE FACT- People smoke and drink for a few days & get addicted to it.. We r studying since birth.. But still we r not addicted to studying that’s called Self Control
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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