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Rehan's Joke
Dry Skin

Skin type is most important during winter season.
If you have a dry skin, use a suitable lotion and
Apply all over your face gently before you apply make up.
Whereas for oily skin you just need to apply a little bit of it.

Nov,21 2015
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Dil Dukhaaya

Aaj tum par aansuo kee barsaat hogi,
Phir wohi andheri kaali raat hogi,
Yaad naa karke tumne dil dukhaaya hain mera,
Jaa tere badan me khujali saari raat hogi.

Nov,19 2015
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Dil Ka Fasana

Hakeekat samjho ya afsana,
Begana kaho ya deewana,
Suno mere dil ka fasana,
Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana.

Nov,18 2015
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Removing A Lipstick

Hassled by the idea of removing a long lasting lipstick?
Try cleaning it with some sweet almond oil dabbed on a cotton ball.

Nov,17 2015
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Darr Ke Aage

Pyar karne ki apni 1 reet hai,
Pyaar ka dusra naam hi to Preet hai.
Isliye Try maro har Ladki par,
Kyunki,
Darr ke aage Jeet hai.

Nov,17 2015
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Istri Garm Hai

Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti.
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha,
Dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo.

Nov,16 2015
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Jeeto Ka Gussa

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai,
Bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, Maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan,
Na jane inhone kya kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Nov,13 2015
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Darane Ka Kaam

Aapki yaad mein humne nai kalam uthai,
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai,
Socha tha ki usko sambhaal kar rakhenge,
Magar wo to baccchon ko darane ke kaam aayee.

Nov,12 2015
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Saste Ka Natija

Advocate: Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband: Pagal Ho Kya?
Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat: Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija.

Nov,11 2015
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ब्लड टेस्ट

संता ने ब्लड टेस्ट करवाया,
रिज़ल्ट आया A+,
सोच कर बड़ा अचरज हुआ कि,
साली कामयाबी तो रग रग मे दौड़ रही है.
तो साला स्कुल मे C क्यों मिलता था.

Nov,11 2015
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सिर्फ दो घंटे

एक बार दो प्रेमी पहाड चढ़ने के लिए जाते है.
चढ़ते चढ़ते बहुत रात हो जाती है, तो दोनों सो जाते हैं.
इस बीच प्रेमी उन दोनों के बीच एक तकिया रख देता है ताकि कुछ हो न जाए.
सुबह होती है प्रेमी अपनी प्रेमिका से: चलो अब सिर्फ दो घंटे में पहाड़ चढ़ना है.
प्रेमिका कहती है: क्या खाक पहाड़ चढें, रात भर में एक तकिया तो पार कर नहीं सके पहाड़ क्या खाक चढ़ोगे.

Nov,11 2015
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Dil Mein Aaja

Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja.

Nov,9 2015
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LADKI Ki Tasvir

NISHANT Ka LUND FACTURE Hone Pe Hospital Laya Gaya.
Dr: Ye Kaise Hua?
NISHANT: Me Uski ma chod Dunga Jisne Diwar Pe
NANGI LADKI Ki Tasvir Chipkai thi.

Nov,7 2015
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Wada Karo

Khushbu ki tarah meri har sans main,
Pyar apna basane ka wada karo.
Rang jitne tumhari mohabat ke hain,
Mere dil me sajane ka wada karo.

Nov,7 2015
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Shaam Ka Intezaar

Ek shaam aati hai tumhari yaad lekar,
Ek shaam jaati hai tumhari yaad dekar,
Par hume intezaar hai us shaam ka,
Jo aaye sirf tumhe saath lekar.

Nov,6 2015
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Dard Hai

Santa to Dr: Ga#d me dard hai.
Dr: Mai hath ghusata hu batana dard kaha hai.
Santa: Andar aur andar aur andar aur haan yahi hai.
Dr: Bhosdi k gale me TONSIL hai.

Nov,6 2015
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Santa Ka Gussa Dukandaar Par.

Santa: Rasgulle hai. Dukandaar: Nahi. Santa: Dekh lunga. Dukandaar: Kya dekh lega? Santa: Dusri Dukan pe jakar dekh lunga.

Nov,5 2015
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Kyu Gaya Plumber Exam Hall Me?

Santa jab exam dene gya to wo apne saath plumber ko bhi le gya. Kyun? Kyunki Santa ko khabar mili thi ki paper leak ho gaya hai.

Nov,4 2015
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Tameez

Boy: I Wanna Fuck U.
Girl: Tameez Se Bt Karo.
Boy: Allah Talah K Fazalo Karam Se,
Khuda Ka Ye Nek Banda,
Mohtrma Ko Arzu E Fitrat Se,
Be Itehan Chodna Chahta Hai.

Nov,2 2015
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Careless Girl

Boy to a careless girl: I Love u !
Girl: Ha Ha face-smile
Boy: I will die for u !!
Girl: Ha Ha ha
Boy: I will buy a diamond ring for u face-smile
Girl: Awww.. really!! Promise ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: HaHa Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.

Oct,27 2015
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Mein Duriyaan

Dosti Mein Duriyaan Toh Aati Jaati Rehti Hain,
Fir Bhi Dosti Dilon Ko Milati Rehti Hain, Woh Dost Hi Kya Jo Naaraz Na Ho,
Par Sachchi Dosti Doston Ko Manati Rehti Hain 

Oct,27 2015
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स्ट्राइक रेट

शिक्षक : ओसामा की 5 बीवी हैं और 20 बच्चे, और लालू की एक बीवी और 12 बच्चे तो बताओ दोनों में से बेहतर कौन है?
छात्र (काफी सोचने के बाद): सर, स्कोर तो ओसामा का ज्यादा है पर स्ट्राइक रेट लालू की बेहतर है.

Oct,27 2015
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Dil ka haal

Aapse yeh doori humse sahi nahi jati,
Juda hoke aapse humse raha nahi jata,
Ab toh waapas laut aayiye hamare paas,
Dil ka haal ab lafzon mein kaha nahi jata.

Oct,20 2015
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Angreji Ka Boot

Ustad Fursat Fatte Haal Khaan Ko Angreji Sikhne Ka Boot Sawar Hua To English Sikhne Ke Baad Unhone Ek Sher Likha,
The Janaza Of Aashiq Is Nikla From The Gali Of Mehbooba With Very Zor Shor,
The Mehbooba Jhaanki From The Door & Boli: Mar Gaya Haramkhor.

Oct,20 2015
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Disko

Chod chad k apne salim ki gali anarkali disko chali.
Dhyan se sunega.
Chod chad k apne salim ki gali anarkali disko chali.
Daya chan maro yaha ka chappa chappa gali gali.

Oct,19 2015
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कैबरा डांस

एक लड़का रात को देर से घर लौटा।
मां ने पूछा: कहां से आ रहा है?
लड़का: कैबरा डांस देखने गया था।
मां: हे भगवान् तुमने कोई ऐसी चीज तो नहीं देख ली जो तुमको नहीं देखनी चाहिए थी।
लड़का: हां मैंने देखी थी।
मां: क्या देखा?
लड़का: यही कि पापा भी वहीं पर थे।

Oct,14 2015
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हैरानी की बात

एक मरीज डॉक्टर के पास गया.
मरीज: डॉक्टर साहब मेरे कान में मटर का पौधा उग आया है.
डॉक्टर: यह तो बड़ी हैरानी की बात है,
मरीज: जी हां डॉक्टर साहब हैरानी की बात तो है ही क्योंकि मैंने तो अपने कान में भिन्डी के बीज डाले थे.

Oct,13 2015
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Toothpaste

Kapil wife: Ghar mein namak khatam ho gaya hai,
Khaane mein kya banau?
Kapil: Thoda toothpaste daal do, usme namak hai.

Oct,9 2015
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Funny Santa


Oct,8 2015
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Shabaab

Tumhare jaisa kahi bhi Dekha Shabaab nahi,
Tumhari Haseen Nazar ka bhi Jawab nahi,
Hoge is Duniya me Lakho Haseen,
Magar Tere jaisa koi bhi Lajawaab nahi.

Oct,6 2015
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Mehfil

Hum to tere dil ki mehfil sajane aye the,
Teri kasam tujhe apna banane aye the.
Kis baat ki saza di tune hum ko,
Bewafa hum to tere dard ko apnane aye the.

Oct,6 2015
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Reason

Girl: Tu itna achha he fir kya,
Reason hai ki teri koi GF nahi hai?
Boy: Tu ban ja.
Girl: Nahi tu mera best friend hai.
Boy: Bas yehi reason hai.

Oct,3 2015
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Hanstey Hanstey

BF & GF dono hans rahe the tabhi GF achanak se chup ho jati hai.
BF: Kya hua?
GF: Kuch nahi.
BF: Batao na kuch to hua?
GF: Wo hanstey 2 meri thodi si potti nikal gayi.

Oct,3 2015
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Raat Mein

Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Janane k liye dekhiye CID, only on Sony.

Oct,3 2015
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मुआयना

लड़की: बच्चा 2 दिन से दूध नहीं पी रहा।
डॉक्टर ने महिला की ब्रा में हाथ डाला और काफी देर तक मुआयना करने के बाद बोला, इनमे दूध ही नहीं है।
महिला: मैं तो इसकी मौसी हूँ।

Oct,3 2015
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Roshan

Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu.
Munna: Kyun.
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.

Sep,28 2015
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KHAYAAL

Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai.

Sep,25 2015
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Planing

Kisi bhi ladki ka dil gahraai se jeetne ke liye uske future or present ki planing aur isme aane wali problem ko solve karne ke liye apne ko usmai involve karo.

Sep,24 2015
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Roshni

Abhi abhi toh mile ho,
Abhi na karo chootne ki baat.
Abhi abhi toh pasand aaye ho,
Abhi abhi rootne ki baat.
Abhi abhi toh roshni aayi,
Abhi na karo muh chupane ki baat.

Sep,24 2015
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Taanke

Ek Ladki Nurse Se: Meri Choot Fat Gayi Hai Mujhe Taanke Lagwane Hain.
Nurse: Size Kitna Rakhna Hai?
Ladki Soch Kar Boli: Apni Ke Jitna Rakh Do.
Nurse: Fir Toh Aur Jyada Faadni Padegi.

Sep,24 2015
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Station

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster: Bhai ye post office hai,
Police station me complain dijiyee.
Man: Kia karon, khushi k mare,
Kuch samajh nahin aa raha.

Sep,23 2015
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Qabristan

Santa Qabristan Me Charas Pi Raha Tha.
Police: Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Santa: Abbu K Liye Dua,
Police: Ye To Bachche Ki Qabr Hai.
Santa: Abbu Bachpan Me Hi Mar Gaye The.

Sep,17 2015
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Funny

Sep,16 2015
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Peeth

Unth uncha, Unth ki peeth unchi. Unchi poonchh unth ki.

Sep,14 2015
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Alphabet

I am the biggest alphabet, as I contain the most water in the world. Who am I?
Answer: Alphabet 'C'.

Sep,14 2015
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Some Butter

Betty Botter bought some butter.
But she said the butter’s bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter will make my batter better.
So ‘twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

Sep,14 2015
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Post Mortem

Ful khile baharo me ghata cha gayi.
Ful khile baharo me ghata cha gayi.
Dr. Salunke kya post mortem ki report aa gayi.

Sep,9 2015
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Color TV

Rajinikanth asked 1 question 2 his teacher. & teacher got confused.
Question was: Black is color,
White is also color,
But y black & white TV is not color TV.

Sep,8 2015
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Aztec Empire

Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

Sep,4 2015
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Oldest Animal

Do U knoW Which is D Oldest Animal in D World?
?
Give up?
?
?
Wel its,
Zebra Coz its still in black and white.

Sep,4 2015
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