Girl: Girls are better than boys.
Boy: Then why did God make boys first?
Girl: Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.
Maa: Beti vo ladka thik nahi jise tu chahti hai.
Beti: Nahi maa wo Dr.banega, usane to meri wo bimari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine hoti thi.
Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao.
Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao.
Der na karo,
Foran bhai bahan ban jaao.
मै तो आज परेशान हो गया, सुबह से फोन पे फोन आ रहे है
20,000 आर्डर आ गए हे ।
मैंने तो OLX par ऐसे ही लिख दिया था
बीवी की आवाज कम करने का रिमोट यहाँ मिलता है।
लिखना TV था, छप गया BV.
उस में मेरी क्या गलती?
Amreika Jaate Hue Ek Ship Ke Captain Ne Ek Bahut Hi Sundar Aurat Se Bola.
Captain: Mere Saath Sex Karo Nahi To Main Ship Ko Dooba Doonga.
Do Din Baad Aurat Ne Apne Pati Ko Sms Kiya.
Aurat: Darling, Mene 600 Logo Ko 2 Din Mein 17 Baar Bachaya.
Kitna bebas hain insaan kismat ke aage,
Har sapna tut jata hain hakikat ke aage,
Jisne kbhi duniya me haarna nahi sikha,
Wo bhi haar jata hai mohabbat ke aage.
Santa Ne Ek Makkhi Pakdi Or Uske Pankh Todkar Bola.
Santa: Udd Jaa Furrrrrrrr.
Makkhi Nahi Udi.
Fir Bola.
Santa: Ja Udd Ja Aur Baag Ja.
Makkhi Fir Nahi Udi.
Santa Sochte Hue: Hmmm, Isse Prove Hua Ki, Agar Makhi Ke Pankh Tod Do To Wo Behri Ho Jati Hai.
Santa: Main Ek Ungali Se 8 Logo Ko Upar Pahuncha Sakta Hun.
Banta Hairani Se: Achhhaa, Wo Kaise?
Santa Muskurate Hue: Arrey Yaar, Main Lift Man Hun Na.
Ye Sookha Andar Jata Hai,
Aur,Gila Bahar Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Ho Jata Hai,
Jab Ye Andar Rahta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye Yaaro,
Isko Lipton Tea Bag Kehtey Hai.
Chahe tum kitne hi bade dhokebaaz kyun na ho, kintu facebook mein ladki se dosti hote hi usse aise baatein karo jaise tum is duniya ke sabse shareef insaan ho. Aur tum hi uske sapho ke rajkumar ho.
मरने के बाद एक हिजड़ा नरक में गया,
वहाँ यमराज ने उसको रोक लिया और पूछा :
यमरज : चलो हिसाब दो कि दुनिया में क्या किया?
हिजड़ा गुस्से में : देकर क्या भेजा था?
जो हिसाब माँग रहा है
Na chahat hai sitaron ki,
Na tamanna hai nazaaron ki,
Aap jaisa ek dost mil jaaye,
Maa chod denge saaro ki.
Wife: Chota mota hi sahi,
Par gold ka kuch la do.
Husband: Ye le Choti gold flake.
One Boy To A Dark Girl KitneKali Ho.
The Girl Replies Isme Tere Baap Ka Kya Jata Hai.
Boy-Agar Mere Baap Ka
Gaya Hota Toh Gori Hoti.
Bhumi-pujan ceremony should be performed before commencing the construction of a new house and Griha pravesh ceremony before shifting into it.
When some one loves you,
You don’t realize it,
When you realize it, its too late,
You always love the one who leaves you,
And leave the one who loves you.
Biwi : Mera Maanna Hai Shadi Ek Lotery Hai
Pati- Mai Nahi Maanta
Biwi- Kyun?
pati- Lotery Me Dobaara Kismat Azmaane ka Mauka Jo Milta Hai.
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
We know what we are, but not what we may be
Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Gaur farmayiga.
Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Janane k liye dekhiye CID, only on Sony.
Palak: Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon,
Mera rang pad jata hai kala.
kapil: Shareer ladki ka muh halwai wala.
Palak: Panghat pe naache, nache re nache madhubala.
Jailor: Tum kis Jurm Me Aye Ho?
Sants: Kuch Khas Bat Nahi, Bharat Sarkar Se Competition Ho Gaya Tha
Jilor: Kis Bat Ka?
Santa: Note Chhapne ka
Saas (Bahu Se): Bhagwan Ne Tumhe 2-2 Aankhe Di. Chawal Me Se 2-4 Pathhar Nahi Nikal Sakti Kya.
Bahu: Very Funny! Bhagwan Ne Tumhe 32 Daant Diye 2-4 Pathhar Bhi Nahi Chaba Sakti ?
Faith makes all things possible.
Love makes all things easy,
Hopes makes all things work,
But ur gorgeous smile brings all faith,
Luv & hope in me.
Sumona TV Par Cricket Match Dekh Rahi Thi,
Kapil Smart Sa Banke Aaya Aur Bola,
Kapil: Darling Main Kaisa Lag Raha Hoon?
Tabhi Sumona Zor se Chillayi: Chhakkaaaa.
Dhoop tez hai paas saya b nhi,
Dard aisa hai k rona aaya b nhi,
Tere siva maine kisi ko apna mana hi nhi,
Q k tere jaisa dost rab ne banaya hi nhi.
Asman Ko Nind Aaye To Sulaye Kaha,
Zameen Ko Maut Aaye To Dafnaye Kaha,
Samundar Me Tufaan Aaye To Chupaye Kaha,
Tuhi Bata Teri Yaad Aaye To Hum Jaye Kaha.
Grammar Teacher Pada Rahi Thhi Usne Santa Se Puchha: Sunil Daaru Nahi Peeta Hai,
Is Sentence Main Sunil Kya Hai?
Santa: Madam Ji Sunil Ch_t_ya Hai.
School se hasil ki hum ne education.
Phir bhi na samajh paaye dil ki difinition.
Dil k darwaze pe likh diya no admission.
Phir bhi ap chle aaye without permission.
Rah chalti ladki ko dekh kar ladka shayari ke andaz mein bola,
Ladka: Kash main tumhare hasen honton ki lip-stick hota,
Ladki Ne huste hue jawab diye,
Ladki: Shukar karo nahi ho warna roz kisi ke lu*d pe lage hotey.
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!
Teacher: Cow Hamari Mata hai.
School k bahar 1 Cow Road,
pe ghum rhi thi.
PAPPU : Sir Baahar Aapki.
Mummy Awara saando k sath Ghoom Rahi hai.
Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14inch ka ho ya 29inch ka remote 6inch ka hi hota hai.
Wife: I'm not feeling well.
Husband: Oho. I was thinking to go for dinner.
Wife: I was joking darling.
Husband: Me too.
Chal uth roti bana shabbash.
Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai: Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon?
Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai,
To ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga,
Uss mein dekh le,
Humse kya poochhti hai Bhootni kahi ki.
Wife: Jaan, Kya main tumhare sapno mein aati hoon?
Husband: Bilkul Nahin.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main hanuman chaalisa padhkar sota hoon.
Be the kind of guy that doesn’t ignore her
When you’re with your friends.
Hold her tighter and kiss her a little bit harder,
just to make them jealous. !
What will happen if u sleep at night?
Most probably u will not sleep in daytime.
Docter: Tum Roj Yahan Khade Hokar Auraton Ko Kyu Ghurte Ho?
Man: Aapko dikhta Nahi Yaha likha Hai Aurato Ko Dekhne Ka Samay 10 Se 12 Aapne hi To Likha Hai.
A good friend is like a computer.
Me enter ur life,
Save u in my heart,
Format ur problems,
Shift u 2 opportunities &,
Never delete u from my memory.
Ham Se Koi Gila Ho Jaaye Toh Sorry,
Aapko Yaad Na Kar Paye Toh Sorry,
Waise Dil Se Aapko Bhulenge Nahi,
Par Hamari Dhadkan Hi Ruk Jaye Toh Sorry.
Girls 2 Types Ki Hoti Hai
1st Boring Girls – Jo Dhup Mein Bhi Chhatri Leke Chalti Hai.
2nd Bindas Girl – Jo Baarish Mein Bhi White Dress Pahnti Hai, Aur Chattri Jan Bhuj Ke Ghar Bhul Jati Hai.
2Do Pal Ki Zindgani Yahi Bit Jayegi,
Har Kali Raat Ke Baad Nayi Subah Aayegi,
Agar Khas Logo Ki Yaad Satayegi To,
Kasam Se Apki Yaad Sabse Pahle Aayegi.