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Rehan's Joke
Rough Draft

Girl: Girls are better than boys.
Boy: Then why did God make boys first?
Girl: Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.

Sep,4 2015
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Meri Bimari

Maa: Beti vo ladka thik nahi jise tu chahti hai.
Beti: Nahi maa wo Dr.banega, usane to meri wo bimari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine hoti thi.

Sep,4 2015
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Bhai Bahan

Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao.
Pyaar main jo kabhi pakde jaao.
Der na karo,
Foran bhai bahan ban jaao.

Sep,3 2015
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बीवी की आवाज

मै तो आज परेशान हो गया, सुबह से फोन पे फोन आ रहे है
20,000 आर्डर आ गए हे ।
मैंने तो OLX par ऐसे ही लिख दिया था
बीवी की आवाज कम करने का रिमोट यहाँ मिलता है।
लिखना TV था, छप गया BV.
उस में मेरी क्या गलती?

Sep,2 2015
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17 Baar

Amreika Jaate Hue Ek Ship Ke Captain Ne Ek Bahut Hi Sundar Aurat Se Bola.
Captain: Mere Saath Sex Karo Nahi To Main Ship Ko Dooba Doonga.
Do Din Baad Aurat Ne Apne Pati Ko Sms Kiya.
Aurat: Darling, Mene 600 Logo Ko 2 Din Mein 17 Baar Bachaya. 

Sep,1 2015
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Mohabbat Ke Aage

Kitna bebas hain insaan kismat ke aage,
Har sapna tut jata hain hakikat ke aage,
Jisne kbhi duniya me haarna nahi sikha,
Wo bhi haar jata hai mohabbat ke aage.

Aug,31 2015
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Magical S

Aug,31 2015
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Makhi Ke Pankh

Santa Ne Ek Makkhi Pakdi Or Uske Pankh Todkar Bola.
Santa: Udd Jaa Furrrrrrrr.
Makkhi Nahi Udi.
Fir Bola.
Santa: Ja Udd Ja Aur Baag Ja.
Makkhi Fir Nahi Udi.
Santa Sochte Hue: Hmmm, Isse Prove Hua Ki, Agar Makhi Ke Pankh Tod Do To Wo Behri Ho Jati Hai.

Aug,28 2015
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Ek Ungali

Santa: Main Ek Ungali Se 8 Logo Ko Upar Pahuncha Sakta Hun.
Banta Hairani Se: Achhhaa, Wo Kaise?
Santa Muskurate Hue: Arrey Yaar, Main Lift Man Hun Na.

Aug,24 2015
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Lipton Tea Bag

Ye Sookha Andar Jata Hai,
Aur,Gila Bahar Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Ho Jata Hai,
Jab Ye Andar Rahta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye Yaaro,
Isko Lipton Tea Bag Kehtey Hai.

Aug,21 2015
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Shareef Insaan

Chahe tum kitne hi bade dhokebaaz kyun na ho, kintu facebook mein ladki se dosti hote hi usse aise baatein karo jaise tum is duniya ke sabse shareef insaan ho. Aur tum hi uske sapho ke rajkumar ho.

Aug,20 2015
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हिसाब कि दुनिया

मरने के बाद एक हिजड़ा नरक में गया,
वहाँ यमराज ने उसको रोक लिया और पूछा :
यमरज : चलो हिसाब दो कि दुनिया में क्या किया?
हिजड़ा गुस्से में : देकर क्या भेजा था?
जो हिसाब माँग रहा है

Aug,13 2015
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Tamanna Dil Ki

Na chahat hai sitaron ki,
Na tamanna hai nazaaron ki,
Aap jaisa ek dost mil jaaye,
Maa chod denge saaro ki.

Aug,13 2015
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Choti Gold Flake

Wife: Chota mota hi sahi,
Par gold ka kuch la do.
Husband: Ye le Choti gold flake.

Aug,13 2015
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Post Offices

India has the largest number of Post Offices in the world.

Aug,12 2015
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Toh Gori Hoti

One Boy To A Dark Girl KitneKali Ho.
The Girl Replies Isme Tere Baap Ka Kya Jata Hai.
Boy-Agar Mere Baap Ka
Gaya Hota Toh Gori Hoti.

Aug,11 2015
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Smallest Moon

Which is the small est moon?
Ans: Jamoon.

Aug,7 2015
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Griha Pravesh

Bhumi-pujan ceremony should be performed before commencing the construction of a new house and Griha pravesh ceremony before shifting into it.

Aug,7 2015
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Realize Love

When some one loves you,
You don’t realize it,
When you realize it, its too late,
You always love the one who leaves you,
And leave the one who loves you.

Aug,7 2015
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Shadi Ek Lotery

Biwi : Mera Maanna Hai Shadi Ek Lotery Hai
Pati- Mai Nahi Maanta
Biwi- Kyun?
pati- Lotery Me Dobaara Kismat Azmaane ka Mauka Jo Milta Hai.

Aug,7 2015
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Our Destiny

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
We know what we are, but not what we may be

Aug,6 2015
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Tony Ka Khun

Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Gaur farmayiga.
Kya hua tha raat mein, kaise mar gaya Tony.
Janane k liye dekhiye CID, only on Sony.

Aug,6 2015
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Panghat Pe Madhubala

Palak: Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon,
Mera rang pad jata hai kala.
kapil: Shareer ladki ka muh halwai wala.
Palak: Panghat pe naache, nache re nache madhubala.

Aug,5 2015
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Note Chhapne ka

Jailor:  Tum kis Jurm Me Aye Ho?
Sants:  Kuch Khas Bat Nahi, Bharat Sarkar Se Competition Ho Gaya Tha
Jilor: Kis Bat Ka?
Santa: Note Chhapne ka
 

Aug,4 2015
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Saas Bahu

Saas (Bahu Se): Bhagwan Ne Tumhe 2-2 Aankhe Di. Chawal Me Se 2-4 Pathhar Nahi Nikal Sakti Kya.
Bahu: Very Funny! Bhagwan Ne Tumhe 32 Daant Diye 2-4 Pathhar Bhi Nahi Chaba Sakti ?

Aug,4 2015
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Gorgeous Smile

Faith makes all things possible.
Love makes all things easy,
Hopes makes all things work,
But ur gorgeous smile brings all faith,
Luv & hope in me.

Aug,1 2015
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Sumona Zor se

Sumona TV Par Cricket Match Dekh Rahi Thi,
Kapil Smart Sa Banke Aaya Aur Bola,
Kapil: Darling Main Kaisa Lag Raha Hoon?
Tabhi Sumona Zor se Chillayi: Chhakkaaaa.

Jul,31 2015
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Tere Jaisa Dost

Dhoop tez hai paas saya b nhi,
Dard aisa hai k rona aaya b nhi,
Tere siva maine kisi ko apna mana hi nhi,
Q k tere jaisa dost rab ne banaya hi nhi.

Jul,31 2015
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Remote Control Biwi

Jul,31 2015
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Funny Sleeping

Jul,30 2015
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Teri Yaad Me

Asman Ko Nind Aaye To Sulaye Kaha,
Zameen Ko Maut Aaye To Dafnaye Kaha,
Samundar Me Tufaan Aaye To Chupaye Kaha,
Tuhi Bata Teri Yaad Aaye To Hum Jaye Kaha.

Jul,30 2015
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Sunil Ki Daaru

Grammar Teacher Pada Rahi Thhi Usne Santa Se Puchha: Sunil Daaru Nahi Peeta Hai,
Is Sentence Main Sunil Kya Hai?
Santa: Madam Ji Sunil Ch_t_ya Hai.

Jul,30 2015
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Taking Bath

Jul,23 2015
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Dil Ka Darwaza

School se hasil ki hum ne education.
Phir bhi na samajh paaye dil ki difinition.
Dil k darwaze pe likh diya no admission.
Phir bhi ap chle aaye without permission.

Jul,21 2015
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Roz Kisi Ke

Rah chalti ladki ko dekh kar ladka shayari ke andaz mein bola,
Ladka: Kash main tumhare hasen honton ki lip-stick hota,
Ladki Ne huste hue jawab diye,
Ladki: Shukar karo nahi ho warna roz kisi ke lu*d pe lage hotey.

Jul,21 2015
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Taxi Ke

Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!

Jul,20 2015
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Awara saand

Teacher: Cow Hamari Mata hai.
School k bahar 1 Cow Road,
pe ghum rhi thi.
PAPPU : Sir Baahar Aapki.
Mummy Awara saando k sath Ghoom Rahi hai.

Jul,20 2015
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TV Remote

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14inch ka ho ya 29inch ka remote 6inch ka hi hota hai.

Jul,20 2015
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Go For Dinner

Wife: I'm not feeling well.
Husband: Oho. I was thinking to go for dinner.
Wife: I was joking darling.
Husband: Me too.
Chal uth roti bana shabbash.

Jul,20 2015
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Bhootni Kahi Ki

Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai: Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon?
Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai,
To ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga,
Uss mein dekh le,
Humse kya poochhti hai Bhootni kahi ki.

Jul,17 2015
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Hanuman Chaalisa

Wife: Jaan, Kya main tumhare sapno mein aati hoon?
Husband: Bilkul Nahin.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main hanuman chaalisa padhkar sota hoon.

Jul,17 2015
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Raat Ki Neend
Wife:kal Raat tum mujhey neend mai galia kyu de rahe the?
Husband: Tumhe ghalat fehmi hue hai..
Wife: kaisi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mai neend mai tha.
Jul,17 2015
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Sex Start
Suhaag Raat k Agle din:
Wife:Janu Nashta krna hai?
Hus:sex hi hamra Nashta hai & Sex start.
Wife Dupahar
ko:Khana khate hai?
Hus:sex hi khana hai & Again sex Start!
Raat ko Jab Pati room me Aya to Wife heater k Aage tange fela k baithi thi
Hus: ye kya kar rhi ho?
Wife:Raat ka khana garam kar rhi hu.
Jul,16 2015
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Tighter And Kiss

Be the kind of guy that doesn’t ignore her
When you’re with your friends.
Hold her tighter and kiss her a little bit harder,
just to make them jealous. !

Jul,16 2015
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Sleep At Night

What will happen if u sleep at night?
Most probably u will not sleep in daytime.

Jul,16 2015
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Kyu Ghurte Ho

Docter: Tum Roj Yahan Khade Hokar Auraton Ko Kyu Ghurte Ho?

Man: Aapko dikhta Nahi Yaha likha Hai Aurato Ko Dekhne Ka Samay 10 Se 12 Aapne hi To Likha Hai.

Jul,16 2015
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Never Delete

A good friend is like a computer.
Me enter ur life,
Save u in my heart,
Format ur problems,
Shift u 2 opportunities &,
Never delete u from my memory.

Jul,16 2015
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Hamari Dhadkan

Ham Se Koi Gila Ho Jaaye Toh Sorry,
Aapko Yaad Na Kar Paye Toh Sorry,
Waise Dil Se Aapko Bhulenge Nahi,
Par Hamari Dhadkan Hi Ruk Jaye Toh Sorry.

Jul,15 2015
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White Dress

Girls 2 Types Ki Hoti Hai
1st Boring Girls – Jo Dhup Mein Bhi Chhatri Leke Chalti Hai.
2nd Bindas Girl – Jo Baarish Mein Bhi White Dress Pahnti Hai, Aur Chattri Jan Bhuj Ke Ghar Bhul Jati Hai.

Jul,15 2015
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Yaad Satayagi

2Do Pal Ki Zindgani Yahi Bit Jayegi,
Har Kali Raat Ke Baad Nayi Subah Aayegi,
Agar Khas Logo Ki Yaad Satayegi To,
Kasam Se Apki Yaad Sabse Pahle Aayegi.

Jul,15 2015
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