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Rahul's Joke
Machchar Ki Kiss

Bekaar hai woh log jo apne lover ko miss karte hai,
Arey miss karna hai to machcharo ko miss karo,
Jo apne jaan per khel kar tumko KISS karte hai.

Aug,18 2015
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Kuch Filmo ke

Kuch Filmo ke faltu Heros Ki Tarh Unse Pyar Ki Bhik Kabhi Mat Maango...
Kyu Maangne Se To Aajkal Bheek Bhi Nahi Milta....
Bilki is Site K Formule Use Karke Unhe Haasil Karo.

Aug,18 2015
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Torch Maar Kar

Munna Bhai: Abey Circut Ye Barish K Waqt Bijali Kayon Chamakti Hai
CIRCUT: Bahi Bolay To Upper Wala Torch Maar Kar Dekhta Hoga Kahin Sookha To Nahi Reh Gaya 

Aug,18 2015
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Aaj Maza Nahi

Aaj Maza Nahi Aaya Sukhhi Bhel Me
Aaj Maza Nahi Aaya Sukhhi Bhel Me .
ACP To Khooni : Ab Puri Zindagi Sadte Rehna Jail Me.

Aug,17 2015
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An Umbrella

Master: Why didn’t you water the plants yesterday
Servant: It was raining.
Master: Don’t make excuses! You could have used an umbrella

Aug,17 2015
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Jungle Mein Daaru

Santa,Banta: Aaj Tab Tak Piyenge Jb Tak Wo Samne Wale Teen Ped 6nhi Dikhte.
Waiter: Bas Kro Saalo Samne,
1Hi Ped H,
Ab Kya Jungle Banaoge?

Aug,14 2015
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Dosti Me Pyar

Tute Hue Phul Khushbu De Jate He
Bite Huye Pal Yade De Jate He,
Har Kisika Andaz He Apna Apna,
Koi Dosti Me Pyar To Koi Pyar Me Dosti De Jate Hai.

Aug,12 2015
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Ladkiyan Ki Pasand

Ladkiyan darpok ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai issliye aap darna chhod de aur Ladkiyon se ek nidar ki tarah react kare.

Aug,7 2015
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Nobel Prize

Santa Was Awarded 2010 Nobel Prize For His New Theory Of Motion Which States.
Loose Motion Can Never Be Done In Slow Motion.

Aug,7 2015
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All The World

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

Aug,6 2015
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Amjad Khan

Actor Amjad Khan was almost dropped from ‘Sholay’ (1975) because scriptwriter Javed Akhtar found his voice weak for Gabbar Singh's role. Danny Denzongpa was approached for that role initially.

Aug,5 2015
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Don't Embarrassed

Be playful, funny and have a sense of humor. Don't be embarrassed and shy of her. Be confident and join into conversations with her.

Aug,5 2015
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Bijali Na Hoti

Papu Yaar Agar Bijali Na Hoti toh Kaya Hota
Chapu Yaar Kuch Nai Hota Bass Hamin Mombati Jala Kar
Telivison Dekhana Parta

Aug,4 2015
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Darwaja Tod Diya

Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya.Gor Frmaiye..
Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya
Acp Tha Toilet Me Or
Daya Ne Darwaja Tod Diya.

Aug,4 2015
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Rahul Ki Behen

LADY: Rahul Mera Bhai Tha.
DAYA: Kya ? Rahul Tumhara Bhai Tha?
LADY: Haan, Rahul Mera Bhai Tha.
ABHIJEET : Rahul Sach me Tumhara Bhai Tha?
LADY: Ha Sir Wo Mera Bhai Tha,
ACP: My God, Iska Matlab, Tum Rahul Ki Behen Ho.

Jul,28 2015
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Hatho Mein Mehendi

Ek Ladki Rote Hue Police Station Pahunchi.
Ladki: Inspector Sahab Ek Aadmi Ne Mera Rape Kar Diya Hai.
Inspector: Tum Itni Hatti Katti Ho, To Tumne Use Roka Kyun Nahi.
Ladki: Rokti Kaise Mere Hatho Mein Mehendi Jo Lagi Hui Thi.
Inspector: Hmm, Agli Baar Kab Mehndi Lagaogi.

Jul,24 2015
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Love Never Dies

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

Jul,23 2015
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Dangerous Wapon

4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb.
1. Wife’s Smile.
2. Wife’s Tear.
3. Wife’s Looks.
And the most dangerous,
4. Wife’s Missed Call.

Jul,23 2015
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Balaa Tal Gayi

Wife: Pooja kiya karo, Balaayein tal jayegi.
Husband: Tere baap ne bahut ki hogi,
Uski tal gayi, mere palle pad gayi.

Jul,22 2015
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8 boobs

Girlfriend – tumhein 8 boobs mile toh kya karoge?
Boy – dabuanga…chaatunga..chusunga…uspar latak jaaunga
Girlfriend – toh wahan par ek kutiya soyi hui h, chalo shuru ho jaao

Jul,22 2015
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हडताल

संगीत के अध्यापक ने अपने एक छात्र से पूछा-तुम किस ताल के विषय में अधिक जानते हो ?
छात्र ने तुरंत उत्तर दिया - सर ! में हडताल के विषय में अधिक जानता हुं |

Jul,22 2015
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Bijali Ka Bill

Aamir’s Mother asks Aamir – ” Beta ye aajkal Bijli ka Bill itana zyada kyu aa raha hai?? ”
Aamir replies – ” Mai kabhi batlaata nahi… Par andhere se darta hu mai Ma !!! ”

Jul,20 2015
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Mai tera khun

Santa: Aaj mane basanti ko nhate hue dekha.
Banta: Mai tera khun pi jaunga.
Santa: Mai nha rha tha aur wo ja rhi thi.

Jul,20 2015
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badala Ya PAYMENT

Ramlal: Thakur saab Gabbarsing ne Bahurani ki izzat lut li hai.
Thakur: To?
Ramlal: Bahurani puch rahi hai ki Gabbar se badala lena hai ya PAYMENT.

Jul,17 2015
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Change Channel Please

Husband: Cricket wala channel lagao.
Wife: Nahi lagaungi.
Husband: Dekh lunga.
Wife: Kya dekhloge?
Husband: Yahi channel jo tum dekh rahi ho.

Jul,17 2015
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14 Tukde

Pota: Dada ji yeh C00ND0M kya hota hai?
Dada: Chal bhaag nalayak kahin ka mujhe nahi pata.
Pota: Main janata tha. Aapko pata hota to aaj jayadaad ke 14 tukde nahi hote.

Jul,17 2015
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Kya Kar Nai

Biwi raat me kapde utrte hue...
tirchi nazar se Santa ki traf dekte hue boli:
Pata he na kya karna hai..?
Santa: teri aisi ki taisi,,,
Me itni rat ko kpde nahi dhounga..!

Jul,16 2015
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Like A Heart

i miss u.
i m without u like sky without stars;
like flower without fragrance;
like a heart without feelings

 

Jul,16 2015
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Tera Payar

Tera Pyar h Mera Sahara
Dekhta hu Teri NzroSe hr Nzara
DiLme Tere Pyar K Phul Khilte h
Milti h Zindgi Jb Hm Tmse Milte h

Jul,16 2015
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Dard Hota Hai

Uske na hone se kuchh bhi nahi badla,
Yaaro..Bus kal jaha Dil hota tha, Aaj waha dard hota hai.

Jul,16 2015
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Happy Birthday Katrina

Jul,16 2015
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Pant Tight

GIRL: Maa baju waley ladkey ko dekhar meri bra tight ho jati hai.
MAA: beti ek bar bina bra ki kammeej pahan kar ja, uski pant tight ho jayegi.

Jul,16 2015
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Oye Tere Boobs

Sardar 2 wife : Oye Tere boobs raton-raat ittey vadde kaise ho gaye ?
aur nipples gayab ?
Wife : O ji ,tusi fir daru pe ke gand choos rahe ho

Jul,15 2015
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Give Him Chance
If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance." 
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” 
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.”


Jul,15 2015
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Badal Ki Tarah

Badal ki tarah aawara hain hum,
Ap bhula na sakoge wo insan h hum,
Jo tutkr fna ho jae apki khwaish k lie,
Aasman ka wo andekha sitara h hum.

Jul,15 2015
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Rose Is Special

Flowers R Many But Rose Is Special..
Lovers R Many But Luv Is Special..
Days R Many But Sunday Is Special..
Friends R Many But U R Special..
"GOOD NIGHT"

Jul,15 2015
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अबे तू भी

अगर कोई लड़का परीक्षा में फेल हो जाये तो माँ तीन शब्द कहती है, "और जा घूमने"।
गर्लफ्रेंड भी तीन शब्द कहती है, "शर्म नहीं आती"।
और दोस्त भी तीन शब्द ही कहते हैं लेकिन दिल जीत लेते हैं,
"अबे तू भी"।

Jul,15 2015
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English In British School

After Prince Charles commented on the poor standard of English in British schools, a spokesman for the NUT said: "'E shouldn't comment on fings what he don't know nuffink about."

Jul,14 2015
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Pakad Nai Sakte

Class Mein Teacher Ne Pucha: “Esi Kaunsi Cheez Hai Jise Tum Log Dekh To Sakte Ho Par Pakad Nahi Sakte?”
Johnny: “Madam Ji Aapke Boobs“

Jul,13 2015
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Intresting Airport

Ladki ke T-shirt par bane aeroplane ko ladka ghurne laga.
GIRL:kabhi aeroplane nahi dekha?
BOY:aeroplane toh dekha aisa airport nahi dekha

Jul,13 2015
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If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.” 

Jul,13 2015
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Face Of Heaven

When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”

Jul,13 2015
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Kajriwal Or Rampal

Naukri Chhorkar Engineer Bahut Khatarnak Ho Jata Hai
Eske Do Udaharan Hai Ek To Kajriwal Or Dusra Rampal.

Jul,13 2015
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Shut Up

Boy:I Love You Girl:Shut Up You
Girl:Shut Up
Boy: I Can't Live Without You
Girl:Shut Up
Boy:I Will Marry You Girl:Really?
Boy:Shut Up

Jul,13 2015
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Funny Lallu

Jul,10 2015
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College Ki Ladki

Santa: Agar Nariyaal Ke Ped Pe Chad Jau To..
Engineering College Ki Ladkiya Dikh Jayegi.
Banta: Fir Hath Chhod Dena,
To Medical College Ki Bhi Dikh Jayegi.

Jul,10 2015
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MISS U Word

Pata hai “MISS U” Kitna dard bhara word hota hai
M-mushkil hota hai
I-intzar karna
s-sari zindgi
s-saase lena
U-unke bina Jise hum chahte hai
I love you..

Jul,10 2015
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Bed Express

Pati Patni S*x Kar Rahe Thhe, Pati Ko Kaafi Josh Chada Hua Thha,
Patni: ?Zara Dheere Karo Kyu Rajhdhani Express Chala Rahe Ho?
Itne Mein Unka Beta Bed Se Nichhe Gir Gaya Aur Bola
Jo Marji Chalao Par Passangers Ko To Niche Mat Girao?

Jul,10 2015
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Ghuma kar peechay

Girl To Rikshawala : Q Bhai Jaye Ga ?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye Ga,
Abhi Abhi To Oil Lega kar khara kia
Hai
.
.
Girl : To phir Ghuma kar peechay
le loo !

Jul,9 2015
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Hathiyaar Daal

Khan Adalat Mein Apne Case Ki Sunvai Par Aata Hai, Judge Khaan Se Puchta Hai,
Judge: “Khan, Tumne Inspector Ki Gaand Kyu Maari?”
Khan Khush Hote Hue: “Judge Sahab, Inspector Ne Hum Ko Hukum Diya Thha Ke Hathiyaar Daal Do Humne Daal Diya“

Jul,9 2015
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