देख पगली मेरे दिल मे एक ही जगह खाली बची है..
तो डिसाइड कर ले तू रहेगी या तेरी सहेली..
Teacher: Agar Raat Me Machhar Kate, To Kya Krna Chahie.
Pappu: Chupchap Khuja Kar Sojana Chahie
Qki Ap Rajnikant To Ho Nhi Jo Machhar Se Sorry Bulwa Loge.
कुछ सूंदर लड़कियो के साथ उनके अजीबो गरीब पति देख कर ऐसा लगता है..
जैसे..बेचारी ने उपवास में गलती से कुछ खा लिया होगा.
लडकी : ये whisper कितने का है
दुकानदार : जी 200 का
लडकी :सही लगाओ
दुकानदार : माफ करना लगाना आप को खुद पडेगा
Girl : X'cuse Me Brother, That's My Seat.
Boy : Ok, But I'm NotYour Brother,
My Father Never Fucked Your Mom.
Girl : True, Bbut My Father Did.
मुहब्बत में झुकना कोई अजीब बात नहीं,
चमकता सूरज भी तो ढल जाता है चाँद के लिए
Duniya Mein Sab Se Tez 2 Network Hai:
1. E-Mail Aur 2. Female
Ek Hi Pal Mein Idhar Ki Baat Udhar
Agar Jam kar MONEY KHARCH KAROGE to tumhe use ye kehne ki
jaroorat nahin padegi ki tum duniya ki sabse khoobsurat ladki ho
Teacher : Kisses Ko Sentence
Mainn Is Tarah Istamal Karo Ke Word Be Na Ae Aur Meaning Ajae
Student : Aj Subha Subha Begam Se Bohat Moun Mari Hoi
Kisi Bhi Ladki Ka Dil Gahraai Se Jeetne Ke Liye Uske Future Or
Present Ki Planing Aur Isme Aane Wali Problem Ko Solve Karne
जिधर देखो इश्क के बीमार बैठे हैं हजारों मर गये लाखों तैयार बैठे हैं
साले बर्बाद होते हैं लङकियों के पीछे और कहते हैं की मोदी सरकार कि वजह से बेरोजगार बैठे हैं
When Rajnikanth stares at Windows Vista,
it updates into Windows 7 out of fear
Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Mere Lund Ki Bowling Ne Uski Choot Ka Wicket Gira Diya,
Lekin Taqdir To Dekho.
Uske Baap Ne Abortion Karwa Ke Meri Ball Ko No-Ball Kara Diya
Santa parachute bech raha tha Airplane se koodo,
Batan dabao aur jameen par surakshit pahunch jao.
Grahak: Agar parachute nahin khula to.
Santa: To paise vaapis.
Santa Bike Se Ja Raha Tha,
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gaya.
Ladki Oh My God Lagi To Nahi.
Santa: Nah Nah Eh Ta Yaara Da Utran Da Style Hai.
Kya Leke Aye They,
Kya Lekar Jaoge,
Mujhe SMS Na Karke,
Zalim Kitne Paise Bachaoge
Sambha: Sardar, Is Thakur Ka Kya Karna Hai
Gabbar: Is Saale Ke Dono Haath Kaat Do
Aur Isko Din Mein 03 Baar Blu Film Dikhao
Apne Aap Tadap Tadap Kar Mar Jaayega lol
Exams Ka Saya Hai,
Exam Ke Dino Mein Sukh Kisne Paya Hai,
Duniya Wale Kehte Hain Ache Number Lo,
Par Inhe Kaun Samjhaye Yeh To Moh Maya Hai.
Dhadkan Dil Ki Ruk Jati Hai,
Sanse Aksar Tham Jati Hai,
Bahut Buri Halat Hoti Hai Yaaro,
Jab GF Se Shaadi Karne Ki Naubat Aati Ha.
Doctor: Ttum Abhi 2 Ganto Main Mar Jaanewaale Ho.
Kya Tumhaara Koi Aakhri Khwaaish Hai?
Patient: Haanji, Ek Achche Doctor Ko Consult Karna Hai
Hui Baarish Aur Hum Bheeg Gaye,
Hui Baarish Aur Hum Bheeg Gaye,
Rajnikanth Ne Phook Maari,
Aur Hum Sookh Gaye.
Hui Baarish Aur Hum Bheeg Gaye,
Hui Baarish Aur Hum Bheeg Gaye,
Rajnikanth Ne Phook Maari,
Aur Hum Sookh Gaye.
Circuit: Bhai, Apun Ne Kal Sania Mirza Se Phone Pe Baat Ki.
Munna bhai: Arre Wah, Kya Kaha Usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu Wrong Number.
In Exam Hall A Girl To Boy
Mujhe Bas Is Ans Ki Starting Bata Do Baki Main Likh Lungi.
Boy Ne Dhyan Se Idhar Udhar Dekha,Fir Dhire Se Bola- The
Husband 2 Wife: Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage?
Wife remains silent.
Husband: Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Abbe gin ne to De.
Tujhe Bhool Jaaane Ka Koi Iraada Toh Nahi Tha,
Tere Ilaava Kisi Se Bhi Koi Wada Toh Nahi Tha,
Tumhara Khayal Hi Dil Se Nikal Dete Shayad
Par Kambakhat Mere Dil Mein Koi Darwaja Hi Nahi Tha,
BoyFriend : Intazar Bahut Bhari Cheej Hoti Hai
GirlFriend : Toh Kisi Aur Company Ki Ghari Le lo
That Awkward Moment,
When Sunny Leone Is On Stage
In Comedy Nights With Kapil
And Sidhu Paji Says Thoko Thoko
Sukun Milta Hai Jab Unse Baat Hoti Hai
Hazar Raaton Mein Wo Ek Raat Hoti Hai
Nigah Uthakar Jab Dekhte Hain Wo Meri Taraf
Mere Liye Wohi Pal Poori Kaaynat Hoti Hai.
Boyfriend : I Want To Kiss You .
Girlfriend : Nahi Main Pregnant Ho Jaungi.
Boyfriend : Kiss Se Pregnant Aaj Tak Koi Hua Hai Pagli
Girlfriend : Kyon Ki Jab M Ek Bar Shuru Ho Jati
Hun Toh Mei Apne Aap Ki Bhi Nhi Sunti .
You need over 40 different nutrients every day for good health.
Since there is no single food that contains them all,
It is important to balance your daily choices.
In fact there are no good or bad foods,
so you do not need to miss out on the foods you enjoy.
The best way to make sure you get the right balance,
Is to eat a wide variety of foods each day.
Dad: 2 saal baad ghar kyun wapas aaya?
Me: Maine bola tha Kuch ban ke wapas aaunga.
Dad: Kya bana?
Me: Baap.
Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye.
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.
Sumona: Tumne shaadi se pehle kyu nahi bataya,
Ke tumhari raani naam ki ek our wife bhi hai?
Bittoo: Bataya to tha tumhe raani ki tarah rakhunga.
Pyaar dariya hai jiska sahil nahi hota,
Har dil mohabbat ke qabil nahi hota,
Rota wo bhi hai jo dooba hai pyaar mein,
Or rota wo bhi hai jise pyaar hasil nahi hota.
Aap jab bhi unse mile unhe Hi yaa Hello yaa Shake hand karna na bhule, isse apna pan badata jaega.
If you are looking at someone but not talking to them,
Try letting a slow smile spread over your face instead of breaking into an insta grin.
Slow languid smiles are generally considered sexy.
Ladkiyon Se Kabhi Mat Sharmaiye,
Maximum Ladki Sharmile Ladko Ko Pasand Nahi Karti Hai,
Issliye Hamesha Frankly Unse Mile.
jab bhi aap unse milein to koshish karein ki aap,
Itni khoobsurat lag rahi hain ki wo aapko complement dena na bhulein.
Main Dua Mein Tujhe Manga Hai,
Magar Wafa Se Manga Hai.
Kabhi Sajde Mein Jakar Pucho Apne Rab Se,
K Maine Kis Kis Ada Se Tumhe Manga Hai.