STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
When Rajnikant Was In College,
He Had Selected 3 Subjects-
.
.
.
And Today That Subject Are Called
.
ARTS, COMMERCE and SCIENCE!
Yenna Rascala Mind It..!
1
Hamari Dosti Ka Kitna Faida Uthhatay Ho,
1msg Bhej Ke10 Free Pate Ho,
Hamare Dil Par Kyon Zulm Dhate Ho,
Hamare Msg Forward Kar K Naye - Naye Dost Banate Ho.
2
Har Nazar Mein Ek Kashish Hoti Hai,
Har Dil Mein Ek Chahat Hoti Hai,
Mumkin Nahi Har Ek K Liye Tajmahal Banana,
Kyunki Har Dil Mein 4-5 Mumtaz Hoti Hai.
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Old Love Story:
Start from eyes
grow with gifts
end with tears
New Love Story:
start from mobile
grow with balance share
end with SIM Change.
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Forgive my eyes 4 admiring your beauty.
U stole my heart the moment U looked at me,
call me crazy, call me insane every time my
heart beats it mentions your name.
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I love the stars in the sky but
they are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes!
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If u find ur world as a sky and ur friends as STARS,
and if U don't find me among them,
dont worrry! I've just been fallen to make ur wish come true.
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Why do girls look beautiful?
is it real or due to make up?
all false
Girls look beautiful because
.
.
boys have good IMAGINATION.
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Last night some Monkeys came running to my room.
They wanted to trouble good people...
I suggested ur name.
They said Oh!!! No we cant disturb our Boss...
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U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart.
U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind.
I don't know what I mean 2 u,
but u'll always be special 2 me.
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I don't care how many lips u hv kissed,
how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u've said,
I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!
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I used to think that dreams do not come true,
but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.
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Puppy dog asked to mummy dog: Mummy who is my Father.
Mummy: Baby, keep silence, don't disturb your Father,
he is reading this SMS now.
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A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
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A Lovers Night.
.
.
"Baby get outta my mind
I need to get some sleep
...But
Dont worry
I promise, Ill see you
in my Dreams ..
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baby i have an addiction problem.
people say i should go to rehab but
I always tell the m i dont wanna go
cause im addicted to..YOU.
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there are 50 angels in the world.
25 are sleeping,
15 are working,
5 are playing,
4 are praying
and 1?
1 is reading my sms..
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Someone asked me to describe U in a Sentence!
I said, AN INDIVIDUAL WHO MAKES PLACE IN OTHER'S
HEART WITHOUT EVEN KNOCKING AT IT..
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you cannot read the expression in my eyes.
but my lips cannot say what i feel.
how can i reveal my feelings?
you are the only one i cannot live without you.
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human heart beats 72 times per minute,
but even ur heart beats one time also
u can alive because 71 times my heart beats for you.
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my past says you mt me My future says you will
always remember me my dream says you care for
me but my heart says you born for me.
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I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile.
I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style.
What can I say? U r one of a kind &
24/7 u r on my mind!
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I love the way you touch me,
always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me and glad that you are mine.
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Flowers are missing you.
Birds are calling you,
Please come back to zoo
because zoo is not zoo without you.
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People say that love is in every corner...
I must be walking in circles.
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Nazar nazar mei har nazar mei Ek nazar ki talaash hai,
Par yeh nazar woh nazar nahi Jiski mujko talaash hai.
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Khuda salmat rakhe unko jo humse nafrat karte hai,
pyar na sahi, nafrat hi sahi.
Kuch toh hai joh sirf humse karte hain.
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Ishq sabhi ko jena sikha deta hai...
wafa ke naam par marna sikha deta hai...
ishq nahi kiya to karke dekho...
zalim har dard sehna sikha deta hai...!
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Angels r moving from door to door today dropping heavenly blessings.
I prayed to God they get to your door as they just left mine.
1
This morning, an angel asked me
to go to heaven with him but I refused.
there is no signal. How can I text you?
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Think about it:
I'm not scared of proposing a girl
But,
I'm scared abt, what wud happen if she agrees..?
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Hi, How are you...?
Are you free tomorrow..?
Can you come to me..?
Because tomorrow we are opening new
.
.
.
.
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Mental Hospital
admission free, special offer for you.
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Today night I would like to
kiss you and bite you strongly.
Do you accept this waiting for your permission
yours lovingly Mosquito.
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Arguing with girls, wife or ladies is like
wrestling with a Pig in mud.
After sometime you realise that you are getting dirty
& the pig is enjoying !!!!!!!!
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Ladkiyon ki 5 Bate kabhi samjh nahi aati
.
1: Tum Bade Wo Ho (Pata nahi wo se kya matlab.?)
.
2: Mujhe tumse yeh umeed nahi thi (Toh Kya Umeed Thi)
.
3: Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe (toh fir main pehle kaisa tha)
.
4: Such btana main kaisi dikh rahi hu (ab sach bolke pitna thodi na hain)
.
5: I'm very selfish na.. (Ab sach bol do toh gai bhaish pani main).
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Story of all Boys Jitni Bar,
Flirt Karne Ki Koshish Krte H,.
.
Utni Baar hi.
.
.
.
Pyar Ho Jata h,
Wo bhi.
'Saccha Waala.
1
Maalik ne naukar se kaha :- “Mai bazaar jaa raha hoo tum dukaan ka dhyan rakhna, Agar koi order de to use acche se poora karna.”
Kuch der ke baad maalik aaya to usne naukar se poocha :- “Koi order aaya?”
Naukar ne kaha :- “Ji haan,aaya tha, usne order diya ki dono haath upar karke kone mai khade ho jao.”
Maine order maan liya aur wah paise ki tijori uthakar chala gaya.
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Ek bhai saadi te bahut dara kare thaa. Ek bai gaam mein thanedar aaga us din us bhai ki bhans kise ki juwar kha gi. Ghana ulahana aa ya. To uske ghar wale bole, “Thanedar sahab isne dara ke ne saadi tahi tyar kara do yo saadi te bahut dare se.”
Thanedar ne us bhai ko dara dhamka ke bola, “Teri yehi saza hai ke tere ko saadi karni padegi.”
Bhai usne darte ne saadi ki haan kar li. Saadi mein jab dulhan ko uske paas laya gaya to wo bola, “E bebe teri bhans ne bhi kise ki juwar kha li thee ke?”
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A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an
important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not.
Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital
fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the
time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground,
pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground,
and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is
vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the
precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then
swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It
is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it
is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch
accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable,
but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts
no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look
at my watch."
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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a
patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in
half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks
he's a lightbulb."
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from
there before he hurts himself"
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
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Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over
to the other and says, "What are you in here for?"
The other says, "Circumcision."
The first boy says "Oh, man! I had that done right after I was born. I
couldn't walk for a year!"
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A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung
out.
She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I
looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my
skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and
I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I
can tell you one thing... there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
1
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy
intersection.
Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him.
When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed
her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to
administer artificial respiration.
At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the
part about calling a doctor,I'm already here."
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The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant.
"Doctor," she explained, "the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining
weight, he lost three ounces this week."
The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the lady's breasts.
He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on
one nipple.
"Young lady," he finally announced, "no wonder the baby is losing weight, you
haven't any milk!"
"Of course not!" she shrieked. "It's not my child, it's my sister's!"
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The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life
science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.
The question directed:
"Give four advantages of breast milk."
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble
whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:
1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.
Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer.
Again, what to write?
Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again.
But suddenly, he brightened.
He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly scribbled his definitive answer:
4. Available in attractive containers.
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Her husband had been slipping in and out for a coma for several months yet she
stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business fell, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side."
She just smiled and held his hand.
He then continued, saying "When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad
luck."
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1 bacha muskrate hue paida
hua........
.
.
.
Nurse:" Q hans rhe ho ??
.
.
.
Bache ne muthi kholi aur I-pill ki
goli dikhate hue bola:
.
.
.
" DON ko rokna mushkil hi nai
Namumkin Hai..
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When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to
bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting
the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next
page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and
start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you
want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you
remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math
in octal.
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
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[To the tune of "American Pie"]
A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines.
But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they'd deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage.
I can't remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died.
So bye bye to Amer'ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this'll be the day that they die.
This'll be the day that they die.
Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so.
And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service rules
And can you teach me how to Web real slow?
Well I know you sold the service short
Cause I saw your quarterly report.
Steve Case sold off his stock
It fell just like a rock.
It was a crazy, costly high-tech play
As they slashed away at what subscribers pay
And half their users went away
the day the service died.
So bye bye to Amer'ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this'll be the day that they die.
This'll be the day that they die.
Well for two days we've been on our own
And dial-ins click on a rolling phone
But that's not how it used to be
When the mogul came to Virginia court
With an OS icon and a browser port
And a desktop that looked like Apple III.
And while Jim Clark was looking down
The mogul stole his thorny crown
The browser war was turned.
Mozilla...was spurned.
And while Steve left users out to bond
With hosts unable to respond
6 million newbies all were conned
the day the service died.
So bye bye to Amer'ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this'll be the day that they die.
This'll be the day that they die.
Da Chronic ducked their software guards
And stole a million credit cards
To use accounts he'd gotten free
And so Steve Case went to the FBI
and he told Boardwatch a little lie
That hackers wanted child pornography
But while Steve Case was looking down
The hackers pulled his e-mail down
They put it on the net.
He can't be trusted yet!
And while user cynicism climbs
At sign-on ads and welcome rhymes
They scan their e-mail for "Good Times"
the day the service died.
So bye bye to Amer'ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this'll be the day that they die.
This'll be the day that they die.
Helter-skelter billing needs a melter
The lawyers filed a class-action shelter
Eight million in lawyer's fees.
But it looks like some att
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Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn
- During foreplay, he's always double-clicking your G-spot.
- His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.
- When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll down."
- Tells everyone he's a pioneer in "palm computing."
- He's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.
- Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.
- When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."
- You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.
- As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.
- During sex, he shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"
- His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you... he pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.
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