Rajnikant ka mobile,
Vibration mode pe tha don’t worry.
Mode change kar diya hai.
Ek ghar mai pati patni k hasne ki bahut jyada awaz aa rahi thi
Sare padosi unki khushhali ka raj janne k liye unk ghar gye.
Pati ne padosiyo ko btaya ki bahut assan hai.
Hmare yaha meri bivi mujhe belan,chimta phek kr marti hai,
Agar mujhe lag jata hai to woh hasti hai nhi to mai hasta hu.
Tere Chehre Mein Mera Noor Hoga,
Fir Tu Na Kabhi Mujhse Dur Hoga,
Soch Kya Khusi MiLegi Jaan Us Pal,
Jis Pal Teri Maang Mein .
Mere naam ka Sindoor Hoga.
Frustrated Rajnikant: Kuch to Rehem karo kamino.
Ab Ye Kisne Likha Ki Rajni Jab Chawal Khata Hai.
To Uske bum Se Idli Nikalti Hai.
KABHI naak pe KABHI gaal pe,
Kiss kiss kiss.
Kiss kadar makhiya tang karti he.
Ab aap nahaoge nahi to aisa hi hoga na?
Ae dost kabhi mujhe bhula na dena,
Is hanste hue chehre ko kabhi rula na dena,
Kabhi kisi baat per khafa ho bhi jao,
Par mujhse door hokar mujhe judai ki saza na dena.
Tujhpe Ek Pyar Bhari Shayari:
Shikwa Naa Kar Dost,
Gila Na Kar Yaar,
Bas Itni Si Guzarish Hai Meri.
Jab Main Tere Me Daalu,
Tu Hilla Naa Kar Yaar.
Tum hnso to khushi mjhe hoti hai,
Tum rootho to ankhen meri roti hn,
Tum door jao to bechani mjhe hoti hai,
Mehsoos kr k dkh lo Muhabbat aisi hoti hai.
College is 4 Knowledge,
Knowledge is 4 Life,
Life is 4 Wife,
but
Wife is a knife which cuts ur Life.
So never choose ur Wife in a College Life.
Khudaa jab husn deta hai,
Nazaakat aaa hi jati hai.
Kadam chun chun kar rakhti ho,
Kamar balkha hi jaati hai.
Boy-Tu kitne Baje Uthti Hai
Girl-Apna koi time nhi
jb dil kre so jati hu,
aur jab dil kare uth jati hu
Boy-Notty:
Tu Bilkul Mere ‘Land ’ Pe Gayi Hai.
Rajinikanth asked 1 question 2 his teacher. & teacher got confused.
Question was: Black is color,
White is also color,
But y black & white TV is not color TV.
Iss dost ki har khata ko maaf kar dena,
Har gile har shikve ko dil se saaf kar dena,
Akele na sehna koi bhi taklif,
Dukh ho ya sukh half half kar lena.
Jb tm angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,
jb tum angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,
wah wah
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai.
Ek tu teri aawaz yaad aayegi,
Teri kahi huwi har baat yaad aayegi,
Din dhal jayega raat yaad aayegi,
Har lamha pahli mulakat yaad aayegi.
Yeh sulagata jism,
Yeh kamp Kampate Honth,
Yeh Thartharata bua badan,
Yeh ladkhadati aawaz,
Mujhe pahle hi pata tha ki
Tumhe MALARIA hai.
1 banda bhahta howa aata hay,
Aur Santa se kehta hai,
Bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main,
Talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.
Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
Ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay.
Is Zindagi Ko Jeene Ki Aarzoo,
Bin Tere Hai Adhuri,
Tera Sath Jo Mil Jaye,
Meri Zindagi Ho Jaye Puri.
Sunny Leone: Meri next Hindi Movie horror hai, Main Sab Ko Dara Ke Rakh Dungi.
Pappu: Darr Toh Aapki Pehle Ki Movies Mein Bhi Lagta Tha, Kahi Peechhe Se Mummy Papa Na Aa Jaayein.
Santa Police k interview Par,
Interviewer: Bhiid ko Titar Bitar Karne k Liye Kya Karna Chahiye?
Santa: Chanda Mangna Shuru Kar Dena Chahiye.
Husband: jab main tumhe maarta hu tab tum Apna gussa kispe nikaalti ho?
Wife: toilet saaf kar ke
Husband: (haste hue) Pagal aurat.. wo kese?
Wife: toilet aap ke toothbrush se saaf karti hu.
Chodd Diye Wo Kam,
Jinke Galat The Anjaam,
Abb Kuchh Din Nek Kamo Mein Bitayenge,
Ab Navrataro Ke Baad Hi Nayi Ladki Patayenge.
Pyaar se dost ho tum,
Harpal mere saath ho tum,
Dosti ki ek ahsaas ho tum,
Shayad iiliye kuch khaas ho tum.
Baba Saxidas Ke Ek Bhakt Ne Unse Puchha.
Bhakt: Baba Ji, Ye Love Marrigae Ka Kya Fayda Hai?
Baba Ji Muskuraye Aur Bhakt Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole,
Baba Ji: Bacha Simple Hai, Suhag Raat Wale Din Sharmane Mein Time Waste Nahi Hota.
Sir: Koi bata sakta hai Bhagwan ne ladkiya kyu banayi?
Me: Hamari zindagi jhand karne ko.
After a long pause.
Sir: Aansu laa diye tere jawab ne.
Class ke baad mil Daru pite hai.
Boy: Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai Yara Main Kya Karu?
Girl: Karna Kya Hai Pessa Fako, Matha Teko Or Chalte Bano Baaki Bhi Bagat Line Main Hai.
Yadi aap apne partner se samne se khulkar baat nahi kar pati hai. To aapko chahiye ki aap apne partner se phone par baat kare. Phone par erotic baatchit se aapki jhijhak kafi kam ho jayegi. Saath hi aap aapne saathi ke bahut karee baa jayengi.
Do not put pressure on yourself to be witty, smart or alluring. Do not get caught up in the version of yourself you wish you were. He wants to date the real you.
Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega.
Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega.
Meri mano,
Isi raste par medical store khol do mast chalega.
Ajay: AUTOMATICALLY ka matlab kya hota hai bhai?
Kapil: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahi pata.
Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hai AUTO ME TAKLI.
Chhod diye wo kam jinke galat the anjam,
Ab kuchh din nek kamo me bitayenge,
Aur 12thpass karne ke baad hi,
Koi nayi ladki ptayenge.
Santa Chemist Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Bhai Kuch Help Chahiye.
Chemist: Haan Bolo?
Aur Santa Ne Apni Davayi Ki Bottle Mein Se Ek Chamach Chemist Ko Pila Ke Pucha: Meetha Hai Kya?
Chemist: Nahi To, Kyu Kya Hai Ye.
Santa: Bas Yahi Puchna Tha, Doctor Ne Kaha Tha Ki Chemist Ke Paas Jakar Urine Test Karwa Kar Pata Karo Ki Urine Mein Sugar Hai Ke Nahi.
Unse Milne Ko Jo Socho Ab Wo Zamana Nahi,
Ghar Bhi Kaise Jaun Ab To Koi Bahana Nahi,
Mujhe Yaad Rakhna Kahi Tum Bhula Na Dena,
Mana Ke Barson Se Teri Gali Me Aana-Jana Nahi.
1 Buddha PCO Par Gaya,
Waha Kursi Par Ek Ladki Bethi Thi,
Ladki Boli: Baba Kaha Karoge?
Wo Sharma K Bola: Kursi Par To Hoga Nahi,
Nichey Hi Bori Bichha Lo.
Kaise Kehde Ki Unse Milne Ki Chahat Nahi,
Bekarar Dil Ko Ab Bhi Rahat Nahi,
Bhula Dete Unhe Bhi Magar Kya Kare Dost,
Kisi Ko Bhulane Ki Is Dil Ko Aadat Nahi.
Meri chaahatein tumse alag kab hain,
Dil ki baatein tum se chhupi kab hain,
Tum saath raho dil me dhadkan ki jagah,
Phir zindagi ko saanso ki zarurat kab hai.
Growing your hair out is a heck of a lot harder than cutting it.
Skip the awkward stages completely with this amazing guide to growing out your bangs without wanting to throw yourself out of a window.
Noor se aaj chand bhi sharmaya hai,
Aapki berukhi ne aisa hame tadpaya hai,
Khuda se nahi maanga humne aapko,
Khuda ne khud hamara rishta banaya hai.
Radha Ki booni main niboo ki dhara.
Lapak Babuliya Lapak, ab Naa Lapakwe to Lapakwe Kab.
Mar ham bi gaye, marham ke liye, marham na mila. ham dam se gaye, hamdam ke liye, hamdam na mila.
एक किसान ने अपने मक्के के खेत में कौवे उड़ने के लिए रजनीकांत की तस्वीर चिपका दी,
नतीजा यह हुआ कि कौवे अगले ही दिन मक्की के वे दाने भी वापस ले आए,
जो वे पिछले साल लेकर गए थे।
Goverment Bolti Hai: Paani Bachao.
Abhishek Bachchan (idea) Bolta Hai: Paper Bachao.
Ab Saala Koi Yeh Bataye No.2 Karne Ke Baad Kaise Dhone Ka?