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Aakash's Joke
15 Saal Ki Ladki

Ek 75 Saal Ka Buddhe Ne 15 Saal Ki Ldki Se Shadi Ki,
Suhagrat Par Dono Khub Roye.
Kyoki Ladki Kuch Janti Nahin Thi Aur Bhuda Sab Bhul Gaya Tha.

Mar,7 2016
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Status Via Calculator

People Update Facebook Status Via BlackBerry And iPhone.
Rajinikanth Updates His Status Via Calculator.

Mar,5 2016
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Paise Nahi Lagte

Santa : Soch Raha Hu Ki USA Ghumaun,
Kitna Paisa Lagega,
Banta : Kuch B Nahi
Santa : Kaise,
Banta : Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte

Mar,1 2016
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Ya Wo mujhse

Ajib Mousam Hai.Gardison ka,
Samajh Hi Nhi Aata.Ki Main Unse Door Hoon..
Ya Wo mujhse

Feb,29 2016
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Sharabi

Feb,23 2016
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Wapas Nhi Khilta

Pyar Ka Tohfa Hr Kisiko Nhi Milta
Ye Wo Phul H Jo Hr Bhaag Me Nhi Khilta
Is Phul Ko Kabi Tutne Mat Dena
Qki Tuta Hua Phul Wapas Nhi Khilta

Feb,22 2016
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Friend Ki Mummy Thi

Arj Kiya Hai Anakho Me Nami Thi,
Aur Vitamin Ki Kami Thi.
Sari Raat Mobile Pe Baat Kiya Aur Subah Pata Chala.
Woh To Girl Friend Ki Mummy Thi.

Feb,19 2016
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Salery ki

Feb,11 2016
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Girlfriend Ko Love

Santa : Sister Muje 1 Bottle Blood Dedo,
Nurse: Blood Group Bolo.
Santa : Koi Bhi Chalega,
Nurse : Kaise Chalega,
Santa : Girlfriend Ko Love Letter Likhana Hai.

Feb,11 2016
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Bada Sangeen Hai

Abhijeet Bola Daya Yeh Ladki
Badi Rangeen Hai Gaur Farmaaiye,
Abhijeet Bola Daya Ladki Badi
Rangeen Ha Daya Bola Abhijeet,
Ladki Toh Rangeen Hai
Par Maamla Bada Sangeen Hai

Feb,5 2016
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Two Nano Cars

Rajnicant Purchases
Two Nano Cars For.
Do You Know Why.
For Skating.

Feb,2 2016
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Mistake Is Made

Sorry Works When Mistake Is Made.
But Sorry Does Not Work When Trust Is Broken.
So Do Mistakes But Never Break Someone’s Trust.

Jan,28 2016
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Jab Aap Sms

Jab Aap Sms Nahi Karte Itna Gussa
Aata Hai 'Dil To Chahta Hai CHAPPAL Utar
Kar.JOOTE Pahan lu Aur Aapse Milne Aa Jaun.

 

Jan,28 2016
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Dimang

Jan,22 2016
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When You Smile

A Sad Girl Was Sitting With Her Boyfriend..
Boy: U Are The Second Most Beautiful Girl I Have Ever Seen
Girl: Whos The First,
Boy: Its You When You Smile.

Jan,21 2016
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Gunaaho Ki Saza

Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai,
Wife: Woh Kya
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho Ki Saza Jeete Jee Hi Mil Gayi.

Jan,21 2016
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Saath So Jaana

Santa: Kaam Wali Shanti Ko Bulao.
Wife: Kyun,
Santa: Doctor Ne Kaha Hai,
Raat Mein Dawa Khane Ke Baad Shanti Ke Saath So Jaana.

 

Jan,20 2016
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Seek It Without

Peace Comes From Within. Do Not Seek It Without

Jan,19 2016
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What Te Will

He That Can Have Patience Can Have What Te Will.

Jan,19 2016
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Maja Nahi Hai

Girl : Tum Aaj Bhi Keypad Wala Phone Kyu Chalate Ho,
Boy : Mujhe Dabane Me Maja Aata Hai,
Touch Krne Me Koi Maja Nahi Hai.

Jan,18 2016
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Jaanta Hi Nahi

Apne Aap Ko Toh Hum Samjha Lenge,
Magar Dil Mera Yeh Manta Hi Nahi,
Humne Toh Dekhi Hai Bewafayi Aapki,
Aap Bewafa Ho Dil Jaanta Hi Nahi

Jan,16 2016
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Bihar Ki Nahi

Bihari Babu Aare O Doctor.
Kaise Nasbandi Kiye Ho Hamari.
Biwi Fir Se Maa Banne Wali Hai.
Dr.Burbaak Hum Nasbandi Tohar Kiye Hai.
Poore Bihar Ki Nahi

Jan,13 2016
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Galat Subject

Teacher in Exam : Udas Kyun Ho,
Kya Pen, Pencil, Roll no. Bhul Gye.
Student: Dimag Khrab Mat Kr
Yha Main Galat Subject Padhke Aa Gya,
Tuje Pen Pencil Ki Padi Hai.

Jan,12 2016
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Ek Khayal Aaya

Raat Ko Padhte Padhte. Ek Khayal Aaya
Pen Uthaya Aur Paper, Aur Ek Nayi Equation Banayi
Bed + Rajai = Bhaad Mein Jaye Padhai,

Jan,11 2016
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Person Laughs

The Average Person Laughs 10 Times A Day

Jan,9 2016
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Sharafat Dekho

Wife: Meri Sharafat Dekho.
Maine Tumhe Dekhe Bagair Shaadi Karli
Husband: Aur Meri Sharafat Dekho.
Maine Dekh Kar Bhi Inkaar Nahi Kiya.

Jan,8 2016
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रात बस सर

एक लड़की पुलीस में भर्ती हुई.
सहेली: कैसे चल रही है पुलीस वाली लाइफ.
लड़की:बड़ी बेकार. सारा दिन यस सर करने में
और सारी रात बस सर करने में ही निकल जाती है.

Jan,7 2016
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First Day College

College Ke First Day,
Ladka: Tumhara Naam Kya Hai?
Ladki: Mujhe Sab Didi Kehte Hai.
Ladka: Wow Mujhe Sab Jija Ji kehte Hai.

Jan,7 2016
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What Drive

Jan,5 2016
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True Love

Jan,2 2016
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Best Thought

Jan,2 2016
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Thora Aur Kar Lo

Sex Karte Samaye Larkiyan Alag Alag Word Bolti Hai
Nukarani: Sahib Jaldi Karo Malkin Aa Jayngi
Prosan: Deere Karo Awaj Bahar Na Chali Jaye
Premika : Thora Aur Kar Lo
Wife: Chaat Wala Fan Ganda Ho Gaya Hai Kal Saaf kaungi

Jan,2 2016
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Rozana Doodh Dijiye

Dr.: Apke Pati Ko Bhut Kamjori Hai, Rozana Doodh Dijiye.
Lady: Roz Deti hun Dr.Saab, Lekin Ye Dabate Jyada Hain Or Peete
Kam Hai

Dec,29 2015
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30 Se 40 Bar

Girl: Tum Week Main Kitni Bar Shave Karte Ho?
Boy: Week Mai Nai Din Mai 30 Se 40 Bar,
Girl; Kya Tum Pagal Ho
Boy; Nahi, main Naaii Hon.

Dec,29 2015
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Bagal Wala Doctor

Munna: Abay Circuit Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

Dec,19 2015
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Thappad Mara

Teacher: Student Ko Thappad Mara
Student: Ye Tune Mazak Me Maara Ya Seriously
Teacher: Seriously
Student: Fir Thik Hai,Muze Mazak Bilkul Pasand Nahi

Dec,19 2015
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First Time In Night

Wife : Mujhe Ghabrahat Ho Rahi Hai.
Husband : I Think Because This Is Your First Night.
Wife : No, No Actually It Is First Time In Night

Dec,17 2015
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Bhoot AJayega

Santa: Beta Soo Ja Nai Toh Bhoot AJayega
Papuu: Papa App Ko Mummy Ki Chut Marne Ka Bahana Chahiye
Dar Ke Mare Chahe Bache Ki Gard Fat Jaye

Dec,11 2015
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Man Udas Hai

Ja Rahe Hum Marne Aj Man Udas Hai
Yaad Nai Kiya Usne Jiski Muje Aas Hai Muje
Bhul Gye Wo Jo Sabse Khas Hai .
Chalo Ab Msg Kro Upar Likha Sab Bakwaas Hai.

Dec,10 2015
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Staff Room Main

Teacher: Agar Koi Collage Me Bomb Rakhta Hai To Tum Kaya Karoge
Student: Mam 1, 2 Ghante Dekhnge Agar Koi Le Gaya Toh Theek Hai
Nai Toh Staff Room Main Rakh Denge.

Dec,10 2015
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Dhoka Na Dena

Pyar Mein Kisi Ko Dhoka Na Dena
Arz Kiya Hai
Pyar Mein Kisi Ko Dhoka Na Dena
Abhijeet Says: Daya Kidnapers Ko Bhagne Ka Moka Na Dena

Dec,8 2015
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Darr Lagta Hai

Rajnikant: Arey O Murgi Mene Tuje 2 Ande Dene Ke Liye Kaha Tha,
Tune 1 Anda Kyu Diya Kya Tujhe Muj Se Darr Nahi Lagta?
Murgi: Darr Lagta Hai Iss Liye Ek Anda Diya varna me to MURGA HOON.

Dec,2 2015
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Abundance of Happiness

I wish that the New Year turns out to be a very special,
One for you filling each day with peak of health,
Abundance of happiness and sunshine,
Bountiful luxury and prosperity and Zen like serenity.

Nov,27 2015
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Neend Nahi Aati

Aaj Ki Young Generation Ki Sex Ke Prati,
Uttsukta Ko Dekh Kar Baba WHATSAPP Ji Ne Kaha Hai.
Jawani Mein Ladke Aur Ladkiyo Ki Halat Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai.
Raat Ko Jab Neend Nahi Aati To Ladko Ke Hath Mein Lulli,
Aur Ladkiyo Ke Hath Mein Mulli Hoti Hai.

Nov,25 2015
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Acident Hua

Doct: Mareez ko Agar 1 ghanta pehle,
Le aate to hum isey bacha lete.
SANTA: Bhenchod, aadhe ghante pehle to acident hua,
Fir 1 ghanta pehle kya hospital gaand marvane laate?

Nov,25 2015
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Tera Baap

Sir: Kaunsa Panchi sabse Tez udta hai?
Papu: Hathi
Sir: Nalayak, Tera Baap kya karta hai..?
Papu: Chota Rajan ke Gang me shooter hai.
Sir: Shabashhhh Hathi sahi jawab hai.

Nov,25 2015
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Laad Pyar

Salesman: Sir cockroach ke liye powder loge kya?
Santa: Nahi Nahi hum cockroach ko itna laad pyar nahi karte.
Aaj powder denge to kal DEO mangega.

Nov,25 2015
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Apna Bana Ke

Pyar karo to hamesha muskura ke,
Kisi ko dhokha na do apna bana ke,
Kar lo yaad jab tak hum zinda hain,
Phir na kehna ke chale gaye dil mein yaadein basa ke.

Nov,24 2015
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Kya Deta Hai

Shadi se pehle dulhan ka baap dulhe ko kya deta hai?
Jo shadi k baad wapas leta hai?
Answer: Sukh aur Chain.

Nov,21 2015
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Your Career

Where would you like to be in your career five years from now?

Nov,18 2015
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