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Aakash's Joke
Relax

Do not put pressure on yourself to be witty, smart or alluring. Do not get caught up in the version of yourself you wish you were. He wants to date the real you.

Oct,13 2015
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Medical Store

Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega.
Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega.
Meri mano,
Isi raste par medical store khol do mast chalega.

Oct,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
AUTOMATICALLY

Ajay: AUTOMATICALLY ka matlab kya hota hai bhai?
Kapil: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahi pata.
Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hai AUTO ME TAKLI.

Oct,12 2015
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ख़ुशी

प्रेमिका: मैं किसी और से शादी कर रही हूँ,
तुम मुझे भूल जाओ.
संता: न तेरे आने की ख़ुशी,
न तेरे जाने का गम,
जा बहन जा,
दूसरी पटा लेंगे हम.

Oct,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
12thPass

Chhod diye wo kam jinke galat the anjam,
Ab kuchh din nek kamo me bitayenge,
Aur 12thpass karne ke baad hi,
Koi nayi ladki ptayenge.

Oct,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Hasimazaak Nurse & Santa Joke


Oct,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Urine Test

Santa Chemist Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Bhai Kuch Help Chahiye.
Chemist: Haan Bolo?
Aur Santa Ne Apni Davayi Ki Bottle Mein Se Ek Chamach Chemist Ko Pila Ke Pucha: Meetha Hai Kya?
Chemist: Nahi To, Kyu Kya Hai Ye.
Santa: Bas Yahi Puchna Tha, Doctor Ne Kaha Tha Ki Chemist Ke Paas Jakar Urine Test Karwa Kar Pata Karo Ki Urine Mein Sugar Hai Ke Nahi.

Oct,9 2015
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Bahana

Unse Milne Ko Jo Socho Ab Wo Zamana Nahi,
Ghar Bhi Kaise Jaun Ab To Koi Bahana Nahi,
Mujhe Yaad Rakhna Kahi Tum Bhula Na Dena,
Mana Ke Barson Se Teri Gali Me Aana-Jana Nahi.

Oct,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bichha Lo

1 Buddha PCO Par Gaya,
Waha Kursi Par Ek Ladki Bethi Thi,
Ladki Boli: Baba Kaha Karoge?
Wo Sharma K Bola: Kursi Par To Hoga Nahi,
Nichey Hi Bori Bichha Lo.

Oct,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bekarar Dil

Kaise Kehde Ki Unse Milne Ki Chahat Nahi,
Bekarar Dil Ko Ab Bhi Rahat Nahi,
Bhula Dete Unhe Bhi Magar Kya Kare Dost,
Kisi Ko Bhulane Ki Is Dil Ko Aadat Nahi.

Oct,5 2015
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Chaahatein

Meri chaahatein tumse alag kab hain,
Dil ki baatein tum se chhupi kab hain,
Tum saath raho dil me dhadkan ki jagah,
Phir zindagi ko saanso ki zarurat kab hai.

Oct,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bheja

Wife (Ghusse Se): Tumhare Bheje Me To Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai.
Husband (Bade Pyar Se): To Fir Itni Der Se Kha Kyu Rahi Ho?

Oct,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Grow Out Your Bangs

Growing your hair out is a heck of a lot harder than cutting it.
Skip the awkward stages completely with this amazing guide to growing out your bangs without wanting to throw yourself out of a window.

Sep,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rishtedaar

Pati or patni ghumne gaye Raaste mai 1 gadha ghaas kha raha tha.
Patni: Ye ji tumhara rishtedaar ghaas kha raha h, namaste karo.
Pati: Namaste Sasur Ji.

Sep,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rishta

Noor se aaj chand bhi sharmaya hai,
Aapki berukhi ne aisa hame tadpaya hai,
Khuda se nahi maanga humne aapko,
Khuda ne khud hamara rishta banaya hai.

Sep,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Puppy

Sep,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
प्रोफेसर

एक प्रोफेसर हिंदी की कक्षा में गाली की परिभाषा बताओ।
पप्पू: अत्याधिक क्रोध आने पर शारीरिक रूप से हिंसा ना करते हुए, मौखिक रूप से की गयी हिंसात्मक कार्यवाही के लिए चुने हुए शब्दों का समूह, जिसके उचारण के पश्चात मन को असीम शांति का अनुभव होता है उसे हम गाली कहते हैं।
प्रोफेसर: आपके चरण कहा है प्रभु।

Sep,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Babuliya

Radha Ki booni main niboo ki dhara.
Lapak Babuliya Lapak, ab Naa Lapakwe to Lapakwe Kab.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ped Par

Pake ped par pakka papita pakda ped ya pakka papita.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Abibliophobia

Abibliophobia - The fear of running out of reading material.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
The Weather

Under the weather.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Hamdam

Mar ham bi gaye, marham ke liye, marham na mila. ham dam se gaye, hamdam ke liye, hamdam na mila.

Sep,14 2015
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रजनीकांत की तस्वीर

एक किसान ने अपने मक्के के खेत में कौवे उड़ने के लिए रजनीकांत की तस्वीर चिपका दी,
नतीजा यह हुआ कि कौवे अगले ही दिन मक्की के वे दाने भी वापस ले आए,
जो वे पिछले साल लेकर गए थे।

Sep,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Train

Sep,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Your Body

Boy In Very Romantic Mood: Darling, I Want To Be A Part Of Your Body.
Girlfriend: No Thanks, I Already Have An Ass Hole.

Sep,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Paper Bachao

Goverment Bolti Hai: Paani Bachao.
Abhishek Bachchan (idea) Bolta Hai: Paper Bachao.
Ab Saala Koi Yeh Bataye No.2 Karne Ke Baad Kaise Dhone Ka?

Sep,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ashiyano Main

Nigahe naaj karti hai.
Palak ke ashiyano me.
Tum to jaan le leti ho,
Ek bar muskurane me.

Sep,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
अप्सराएं

संता ने बहुत कठोर तपस्या की.
प्रसन्न होकर भगवान प्रकट हो गए: मांगो वत्स क्या वर चाहिये?
संता चौक गया बोला: प्रभु सिस्टम से चलिये पहले तपस्या भंग करने के लिए
अप्सराएं आती है. उनका क्या हुआ?

Sep,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Hamare Pichce

Aankho mei Teri, Ajab si Ajab si Adae hai.
Aankho mei Teri, Ajab si Ajab si Adae hai.
Daya revolver nikalo, Hamari pichce Dushmano ke Kutte pad aae hai.

Sep,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kharab Battery

Battery Mein Kuch Kharabi Aane Ki Wajah Se Santa Usko Mechanic Ke Paas Le Gaya.
Santa: Bhai Iski  Kharab Ho Gayi Hai Change Kar De.
Mechanic: Sir, Exide Ki Laga Doo?
Santa Gusse Se: To Sale Dusri Side Ki Kya Tera Baap Lagayega.

Aug,31 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
दूसरा बच्चा

शादी हुई, खूब मिठाई बँटी
पहला बच्चा हुआ,खूब मिठाई बँटी
दूसरा बच्चा हुआ मिठाई बँटी
5 साल बाद,बच्चों का admission करवाने गया,
Fees 2 लाख+donation 1.5 लाख.
आदमी घर आकर खूब रोया, तो,
बीवी बोली : जानू मेरी फटी थी तो खूब मिठाई बँटी, खुद की फटी तो रोना आ गया.

Aug,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Create Interest

A good lecture should be like a Girl’s mini skirt,
Long enough to cover the subject &,
Short enough to create interest.

Aug,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Khoon Ke Aansu

Gam e zindagi ne har dum aansu diye hai.
Gam e zindagi ne har dum aansu diye hai.
Daya: Sir,lagat hai dono khoon 1 hi aadmi ne kiye hai.

Aug,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
अपनी माँ

एक गरीब परिवार के लड़का अपनी माँ को अपने रात वाले सपने के बारे में बताता है,
लड़का: माँ, कल मेने सपना देखा की मेरा एक पैर जमीं पे और दूसरा आसमान पे था.
माँ: गलत बात बेटा , ऐसे उलटे सीधे सपने मत देखा कर तेरे पास एक ही चड्डी हे वरना वो भी फट जाएगी.

Aug,25 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Swine Flu

Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.
wah wah.
Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.
wah wah.
Dr.Salunkhe Says : IsS Lash Ko To Swine Flu Hai.

Aug,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
2 Cheezein

Aadmi ko Zindgi mein sirf 2 cheezein achhi milni chahiye: Khuraak,
Aur,
Suraakh.

Aug,24 2015
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Ek Pal Na Rehna

Teddies hote hain bade pyaare,
Twitties bhi kam nahin hain nyaare,
Barbie Doll ka toh kya kehna,
Unke bin toh ab ek pal aur na rehna.

Aug,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
America Return

Tym 4 A DEADLY PJ,
What do you call a bee that has come from America?
USB,
No claps plz.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Secrets Of Heart

Never hide ur secrets from a person who can read ur Eyez couse the one who reads ur Eyes is always expert in reading ur Heart.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Two Hearts

I have a heart and that is true,
But now it has gone from me to you,
So care for it just like I do,
Cause I have no heart and you have two.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Speed Bump

You lie out flat on your stomach with a cushion under your belly and pelvic area. He lies on top of you, you spread your legs and he enters you, you'll be orgasming for England before you know it.

Aug,18 2015
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Aap Pagal Ho

Agar Aap Pagal Ho to Miscall Dena,
Mahapagal Ho to Sms Karna
Bewakuf Ho to Call Karna
Or Tino Ho to Chup Rahke Kuch Bhi Mat Karna.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
The Sun Rises

The Sun Rises Into The Sky With The Warmest Smile,
He Wishes You A Good Day, Hoping That You Have The Perfect Day Ahead.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kisko Setting Krni

Kisko Kisko Setting Krni Hai Facebook Me?
Profile Ke Right Me Setting Ka Option Hai,
Jitni Marzi Ho Utni Karo

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
प्रीतो नेट पे

संता: कहां हो?
प्रीतो: नेट पे बैठी हूं।
संता: तभी कहूं कि नेट क्यों नहीं चल रहा है, उठ जा महारानी।

Aug,18 2015
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Relax Mom

Saas Bahu Se: Uthh Jaa Kambakht.Dekh Suraj Kabka Nikal Aaya Hai.
Bahu: Hey. Relax Mom.. Woh Sota Bhi Toh Mujhse Pehle Hai..

Aug,17 2015
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Dashehri AAM

KAASH Asi G.F. Miley Jo Kahey,
Udaas Kyon Rehte Ho Tanha SHAAM Ki Tarha.
Udaas Kyon Rehte Ho Tanha SHAAM Ki Tarah.
Aao Mere BOOBS Choos Lo Dashehri AAM Ki Tarha.

Aug,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Turn Around

CONFDNCE Is Wen UR At A Mdical Store,
& Ask For 20 Condoms & U Hear,
2 Grls Behnd You Gigglng.
You Turn Around, Look Them In The Eyes,
And Say,
Make It 22.

Aug,17 2015
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Batao Kaya

1 Cheez Hai Jo Agar Khushk Hai To 2 Kilo
Gili Ha To 1 Kilo or Agar Jal Jaye To 3 Kilo
Batao Kya Cheez Hai.

Ans:-Sulphur

Aug,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Corridor Canoodling

Corridor Canoodling is Great for A quickie in the afternoon.

Aug,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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