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Aakash's Joke
Ashiyano Main

Nigahe naaj karti hai.
Palak ke ashiyano me.
Tum to jaan le leti ho,
Ek bar muskurane me.

Sep,2 2015
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अप्सराएं

संता ने बहुत कठोर तपस्या की.
प्रसन्न होकर भगवान प्रकट हो गए: मांगो वत्स क्या वर चाहिये?
संता चौक गया बोला: प्रभु सिस्टम से चलिये पहले तपस्या भंग करने के लिए
अप्सराएं आती है. उनका क्या हुआ?

Sep,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kharab Battery

Battery Mein Kuch Kharabi Aane Ki Wajah Se Santa Usko Mechanic Ke Paas Le Gaya.
Santa: Bhai Iski  Kharab Ho Gayi Hai Change Kar De.
Mechanic: Sir, Exide Ki Laga Doo?
Santa Gusse Se: To Sale Dusri Side Ki Kya Tera Baap Lagayega.

Aug,31 2015
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Create Interest

A good lecture should be like a Girl’s mini skirt,
Long enough to cover the subject &,
Short enough to create interest.

Aug,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
2 Cheezein

Aadmi ko Zindgi mein sirf 2 cheezein achhi milni chahiye: Khuraak,
Aur,
Suraakh.

Aug,24 2015
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Ek Pal Na Rehna

Teddies hote hain bade pyaare,
Twitties bhi kam nahin hain nyaare,
Barbie Doll ka toh kya kehna,
Unke bin toh ab ek pal aur na rehna.

Aug,20 2015
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America Return

Tym 4 A DEADLY PJ,
What do you call a bee that has come from America?
USB,
No claps plz.

Aug,18 2015
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Secrets Of Heart

Never hide ur secrets from a person who can read ur Eyez couse the one who reads ur Eyes is always expert in reading ur Heart.

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Two Hearts

I have a heart and that is true,
But now it has gone from me to you,
So care for it just like I do,
Cause I have no heart and you have two.

Aug,18 2015
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Speed Bump

You lie out flat on your stomach with a cushion under your belly and pelvic area. He lies on top of you, you spread your legs and he enters you, you'll be orgasming for England before you know it.

Aug,18 2015
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The Sun Rises

The Sun Rises Into The Sky With The Warmest Smile,
He Wishes You A Good Day, Hoping That You Have The Perfect Day Ahead.

Aug,18 2015
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Kisko Setting Krni

Kisko Kisko Setting Krni Hai Facebook Me?
Profile Ke Right Me Setting Ka Option Hai,
Jitni Marzi Ho Utni Karo

Aug,18 2015
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Relax Mom

Saas Bahu Se: Uthh Jaa Kambakht.Dekh Suraj Kabka Nikal Aaya Hai.
Bahu: Hey. Relax Mom.. Woh Sota Bhi Toh Mujhse Pehle Hai..

Aug,17 2015
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Non Veg Film

Santa: Veg aur non veg film kya hoti hai.
Banta: Film dekhte waqt agar ankh me pani aaye to veg,
Underwear me pani aaye to non veg.

Aug,13 2015
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Itne Haseen

Har Baar Hum Par,
Ilzaam Laga Dete Ho Mohhabat Ka,
Kabhi Khud Se Pucha Hai,
Ki Itne Haseen Kyu Ho.

Aug,11 2015
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Tumhari Hai

Santa Talking On Phone.
Banta: Kis Se Baat Kar Rahe Ho?
Santa: Biwi Se. Banta: Itne Pyar Se...?
Santa: Tumhari Hai.

Aug,11 2015
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हिन्दुस्तान के लिए

न हिन्दु दिखता था न मुसलमान दिखता था।
उसे तो बस इन्सानो मे इन्सान दिखता था।
हो ग्ई आज खामोश वो आवाज सदा के लिए ।
जिसकी बातो मे केवल हिन्दुस्तान दिखता था।

Aug,7 2015
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Koi Baat Likhenge

1Din Dosti Pr 1Kitab Likhenge,
Dosto K Sath Gujri Hr Baat Likhenge,
Jab Batana Ho K Dost Kaise Hote He,
Tumhe Soch Kar Har Baat Likhenge.

Aug,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
God Do You Learn

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

Aug,6 2015
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The Mind

The mind is everything. What you think you become.
A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.

Aug,6 2015
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Two Intervals

Raj Kapoor’s ‘Mera Naam Joker’ was the first Hindi movie to have two intervals.

Aug,5 2015
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Raj Kapoor

Dimple was only sixteen years old when Raj Kapoor introduced her in ‘Bobby’ (1973). She also got married to Bollywood superstar Rajesh Khanna at the age of 16. Despite the enormous success of ‘Bobby’, she then took a sabbatical from acting to raise her children.

Aug,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dad Ne Dekh

Couple date par tha, Dad ne dekh liya .
Dad ne call kya: beta kaha ho?
Beta: Paper dene aaya hu.
Dad: Zara dhyan se.. es paper ka result aaya to jaan se maar dunga

Aug,4 2015
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Switch Off

Rajinikanth: Hello I'm Rajinikanth.
Receiver: Han Han, Pata Hai!
Rajinikanth: Tujhe Kaise Pata Chala, Main Rajinikanth Bol Raha Hun?
Receiver: Bass Kya Bhai... Mobile Switch Off Tha Mera!

Aug,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Matlbi Dost

Santa : Matlbi Dost Se Bach Kar Raho.
Banta : Magar Matlbe Dost Ka Pta Kaise Chalega.
Santa Simple,Sare Dosto Ko Msg Karo jo Reply Na De Samjah Lo Wo Hi Matlbi Hai

Aug,4 2015
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Jayanti Kaun

PROFESSOR :Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI:Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap.
Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

Aug,1 2015
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Mera Khoon

Husband: Tu Kahan Gai Thi
Wife : Blood Donate Karne
Husband: Kyn Mera Khoon Pete pete Overflow Ho gaya Tha kaya

Jul,31 2015
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Ghar Ya Bar?

Jul,31 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Diwali Celebration

Breaking news: ISRO does not exists any more.
Rajnikanth purchased all the rockets for diwali celebration.

Jul,31 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Relax Yourself

Don’t put pressure on yourself to be witty, smart or alluring. Don’t get caught up in the version of yourself you wish you were. He wants to date the real you.

Jul,30 2015
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Bad news

Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you.
Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya? Iam Miss Taniya.
Doctor: Oh !! Sorry Miss Taniya...Bad news for you.

Jul,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Zindagi Hai

Zindagi hai nadan isliye chup hoon,
Dard hi dard subah sham isliye chup hoon
Keh du zamane se dastan apni,
Usme ayega tera naam isliye chup hoon.

Jul,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dard kee

Dard kee dastaan abhi baki hain
Mohabbat ka imtehaan abhi baki hai
Dil kare to phir milne aa jana
Mera dil hi tuta h jan abhi b baki hai

Jul,27 2015
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Opportunities

Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.Chris Grosser
Don’t complain; just work harder.via Chris Grosser
Before you can work smart you must work hard.via Chris Pardo
Persevere…because on the road to success there is never a crowd on the extra mile. via Charity Gibson

Jul,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Movie Ke Liye

Patni: Dekhoji, hamaare shantabai ke pati,
Usko khush rakhne ke liye, Har hafte movie pe le jaate hai. Aap kyu nahi karte ho aise?
Pati: Arey, Maine bhi shantabai ko movie ke liye bulaaya. lekin usne manaa kardi, Isme meri kya galti hai?

Jul,22 2015
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The Siachen Glacier

The Siachen Glacier, 5000 metres above sea level, is the highest battlefield in the world. And the Indian Army controls it. 

Jul,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Girl & Boy

Girl To Boy: Tum ladke kisi Ladki me sub se pehle kya dekhte ho.
Boy: Yeh to depend karta hai ki Ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai.

Jul,21 2015
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Kushi se

Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se!

Jul,20 2015
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Hum Gam Ko

Hum GAM ko CHUPA ke MUSKURATE gaye, wo HADD se
JAYADA humko SATATE gaye. Meri ANKHO ki GHATA
BARASTI rahi, wo SAWAN samaj kar NAHATE gaye.

Jul,20 2015
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Proud To Apologise

Never be too proud to apologise. A heartfelt I am sorry can solve most of our problems. It’s really true Don’t let ego get in the way.

Jul,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shahrukh Ki Sugandh

Jul,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Take Respct

Patni Subah Uthkar Pati Ke Pair Chooti Hai
Aur
Pati Raat Me Uske Dono Pair Apne Kandhe Par Le Leta Hai.
This Is Called As:
Give Respect & Take Respct.

Jul,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mobile Switched

Watch BBC, Aaj Tak and NDTV News now.
253 college girls are admitted in hospital for suicide attempt?
Reason?
My mobile was switched off last night.


Jul,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dosti Ka Mohtaj

Dosti to ek taj hota, Dost ko jis par Naaz hota hai,
Krishna aur sudama ko dekh kar pata chalta hai,
Ki Bhagwan bhi dosti ka mohtaj hota hai.

Jul,16 2015
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Respect Deni Chahiye

Uss ladki ko hamesha respect deni chahia jisko aap patana chahte ho iske 2 fayede hai. Pehle toh wo sochegi ki ye ladka bahut sarif hai . dusra wo sochegi ki ye dusre ladko ki yarha nahi hai . ye sarif hai orh uski sarafat uske chehre se jhalakti hai.

Jul,16 2015
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Vayapam Ghotala

Patni Pati Se: Limit Mai Rahna Seekh Lo

Pati:Kyu

Patni: Varna Mai Apna Status Update Karne Jaa Rahi Hun Ki Mere pati Ko Vyapam Ghotale Ki Puri Jaankari Hai.

 

Jul,16 2015
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Keep Your Balance

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”
Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe", a part limited in time and space.”
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."

Jul,15 2015
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Hot Kiss

Jul,15 2015
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Dost Jaan

Dosti ki wajah nahin hoti,
Dosti saza nahin hoti,
Dosti me hoti he imandari,
Dosti me duniadari nahi hoti,
Dost jaan se pyara hota he,
Dost se jaan pyari nahin hoti

Jul,15 2015
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Gujarat Airline

Jul,15 2015
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