Aapki dosti hamari, suron ka saz hai.
Aap jaise dost pr, hame naz hai.
Chahe kuch ho jaye zindgi mein.
Dosti veise hi rahegi, jeise aaj hai.
Mallika Sherawat Ki Gali Mein Kelewala Aaya, Mallika Bahar Aayi To Kele Wale Ne Kaha.
Kelewala: Behenji Kele Le Lo, Bahut Mote Aur Swadisht Hai.
Mallika Sherawat: Kaise Diye?
Kelewala: Aath (8) Rupaye Mein (12).
Mallika Sherawat: Sath (7) Mein Tera (13) Deta Hai To Bol.
Sardar Ji Apne Ghar Se Bahar Nikle Aur Achanak Ek Kauve (Crow) Ne Sardar Ji Ke Sir Per Beeth (Shit) Ker Di.
Sardarni Tissue Lekar Bahar Aayi.
To Sardar Ji Gusse Se Bole: Ab Kiski Gaand Saaf Kaaregi, Kauva To Udd Gaya.
Santa: Plane pilot se headfone chin rha tha.
Pilot: Ye kya kar rhe ho.
Santa: Saale ticket k paise hm log de aur gane tu akela sunega.
Place your feet slightly wider apart than natural; this will stop you from shifting your weight and will help you stand like this for long periods of time.
Earthquake ke baad aaya SMS.
Donot worry guys, everything is fine.
My phone was on vibration. Uski wajah se earthquake aa raha tha.
Settings changed now.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
From : Rajnikant.
Mind It.
संता: यार, मुझे एक कील और हथौड़ा चाहिए अपने कम्पयूटर के लिए.
बंता : कम्पयूटर में इसकी क्या जरुरत.
संता : मुझे कम्पयूटर में विंडो लगानी है.
Kaise Kahu Ki Apna Bana Lo Mujhe,
Bahon Me Apni Sama Lo Mujhe,
Aaj Himmat Kar Ke Kahta Hu Ki,
Mai Tumhara Hu Ab Tum Hi Samhalo Mujhe.
Teacher: English me counting sunao.
Student: One, Two, Three, Four.
Teacher: Aage?
Student: Get on the dance floor,
Gets kicked out.
In aakhon mein jo tasveer hai woteri hai,
Dil ki har dhadkan bas teri hai,
Nahi chahiye saare jahan ki khushiyan mujhe,
Khuda kare tujhe mil jaayein,
Wo saari khushiyan jo meri h.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood.
As a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Sania Mirza back in India
Milk prices down by Rs 2.
Hasso matt kamino dono alag alag news hai.
Pickup line of the Day.
Boy: I cant pray GOD to bless you.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cz he already did.
Santa Ek Din Banta Ko Bata Raha Tha,
Santa: Yaar Kal Raat Maine Teen Ghante CD Player Par Ek English Movie Dekhi,
Na Koi Scene Dikha Na Hi Koi Awaaz Aayi.
Banta Hairani Se: Picture Ka Naam Kya Tha?
Santa: No Disc Inserted.
प्रेमिका उपहार में चाय के प्याले देख कर बोली, यह क्या बेमतलब का उपहार लाए हो तुम ?
प्रेमी : बेमतलब कहाँ है डार्लिंग। सदा तुम्हारे होठों को चूमता रहेगा।
Sagar mein water,
Water mein fish,
Aapko namste,
Apki girlfriend ko kiss,
Uuuuummmuuuuaaa,
Maza aa gaya Kal phir karoonga.
Never Dance Naked Because The Body Has Parts That Do Not Stop Moving,
When,
The Music Stops.
I love you to the level of every days,
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love you freely, as men strive for Right,
I love you purely, as they turn from Praise.
Ek student roz roz Maths ke teacher ko phone lagata.
Teachers wife: Kitni baar bataya, ke woh mar chuke hai.
Fir baar baar phone kyu karte ho?
Student: Sun ke accha lagta hai.
Ek bar santa tree se ulta latak raha tha BANTA: Are santa tu tree se ulta kyun latak raha he.
SANTA: Yar mere sir dard ki goli khai he ab dar lag raha he ki vo pet me na chali jaye to me ped se ulta latk gya.
Wo zeher dekar maarte to,
Duniya ki nazar m aa jate.
Wo zeher dekar maarte to,
Duniya ki nazar m aa jate.
Andaaze katal to dekho,
Humse shadi hi karli.
Snta Ko Nahate hue Mahbooba Yaad Aa gayi tho Farmaya,
Dil me He Tumhara Aks,
Or Hath me H Sabun LUX,
Tmhara Khayal aata Raha or,
LUX Jhaag Banata Raha.
Chehre Pe Daag Aur Aankho Me Nami Hai,
Chehre Pe Daag Aur Aankho Me Nami Hai,
Jyada Socho Mat, Tumhe VITAMIN C Aur,
IODIN ki Kami Hai.
Wife: I am Pregnant.
Santa: Par Main to England Me Tha.
Wife: Aapki photo Thi Na.
Santa: Ullu Mat Bana Kamini Photo To Kamar Tak Hi Thi.
Ek Nojwaan Ladka Apne Dil Ka Dard Dosto Ko Bata Raha Tha
Ladka: Dad Ne Kaha College Chhod De Maine Chod Diya.
Dad Ne Kaha Girlfriend Chhod De Maine Chhod Di.
Dad Ne Kaha Sharaab Chhod De.
Dost: Aur Fir?
Ladka: Aur Kya, Uske Baad Dad Se Dobara Baat Hi Nahi Hui.
Cheers Bhailogo.
Barkha Dutt: Laloo Ji, hamare desh mein divorce ke cases badte hi ja rahe hain. Aapko kya sochte ho, iska main karan kya hai.
Funny Laloo: Shaadi.
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.
Kya aap marne ke baad bhi hot ladkiya dekhna chahte hai?
DONATE UR EYES.
Saale Kamino ko Social Message b interesting banakar Bhejna Padta hai.
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
Be the change that you want to see in the world.
Faith… must be enforced by reason… when faith becomes blind it dies.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Ek raat khuda ne mere DIL se pucha,
Tu dosti me itna kyo khoya hai,
Tab Dil bola Dosto ne hi di hai saari khushiyan,
Varna pyar karke to Dil hamesha roya hai.
Mere Kamre Me Udte Hai BADAL.
WAH WAH.
Mere Kamre Me Udte Hai BADAL.
WAH WAH.
Main Kuch Bhi Likhu Padhte Hai PAGAL.
Ab Bolo WAH-WAH.
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them.Abraham Lincoln
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.Abraham Lincoln
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. Abraham Lincoln
Teacher: Student to Koi Batayega Ki New & Old Mariage Mein Kya Farak Hota Hai?
Student: Madam Ji, New Marriage Main Log Lips Mila Ke Sotay Hai Aur Old Marriage Main Hips.
Boy: Why did Gandhiji have no hair on his head?
Teacher: Its sign of intelligence…
Boy: Now i understand y gals have so long hair
Kapil : Tu itna bada ho gaya hai ,
Aur abhi tak tujhe daadhi-mooch nahi aaye ?
Naukar : Main bilku apni Maa par gaya huun
Use karte hain make-up ka dabba roz kyu,
Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain roz kyu,
Mummy, tum to kehthi thi Eid to kab ki gayi,
Phir padosan se gale milte hain papa roz kyu.
Bachpan Mai Deevali Par Rocket Chhodte Hue Adbhut Gyan Mila Tha Ki Aasman Chhune Ke Lie Botal Jaruri Hai.
Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",
air hostess : " B-silent please ",
santa said : " OMBAY - OMBAY...
Martin Luther king said
If u cant Fly Run,
If u cant Run Walk,
If u cant Walk Crawl,
But Keep Moving.
Bachcha: Doodh peene se rang gora hota hai?
Doctor: Haa, hota hai.
Bachcha: Jhooth, Phir bhains ka bachcha kaala kyun hota hai?
Teacher: BIRBAL KON Tha?
Student: Pata nahi.
Teacher: Padhai pe Dhayn do, to pata Chalega.
Student: Jacky kaun hai?
Teacher: Pata nahi.
Student: Beti pe dhayn do, to pata Chalega.
Jabbhi app us ladki se mile jisse app patana chahte ho , usse hand shake jarur kare or hello kare isse apnapan badta hai.
A man is great by deeds, not by birth
Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.
नसोमवारसे
नमंगलवारसे
नबुधवारसे
नगुरुवारसे
नशुक्रवारसे
नशनिवारसे
नरविवारसे
कांग्रेसनेतालोगडरतेहैंतोसिर्फऔरसिर्फनरेन्द्रमोदीकीसरकारसे।।
Toota jo dil to dukh hota hai.
kar ke usse pyar dil ab bhi rota hai.
Dard ka ehsas hota hai usi ko.
Jo mohbbat pane ke bad khota hai.