barsat mein ham pani ban k baras jainge…
patjhar mein ham phol ban k jhar jainge…
kia hua jo aaj aap ko tang karte hain…
ek din aap ko bin bataye hi chalay jainge.
Shadi ki 1st night
Dulha- Hamesha Puja krna,
Vrat rakhna,
Daan dena
Sabse pyar se bolna.
Dulhan pareshan ho ke bahar gayi aur boli-
Sab andar ajao,
andar SATSANG ho raha hai!
Beta- Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise dadaji bhi apko marte the kya?
Papa- Bilkul marte the
Beta- Toh yeh khandani gundagardi kab tak chalegi?
Friend aur Best Friend me kya farq Hai?
Friend kehta Hai: Yaar Plz Drive Safe & Slow.
Best Friend says: Bhaga Salle Aagey Scorpio Mein maal Hai!
Ansu tere nikle to ankhe meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kre dosti hmari itni gehri ho,
Ke sadak per log tumhe pite aur glti meri ho
Machhli: eeuu eeu eeuu
Saanp: Uuummmmm
Machhli: Tum machli kyu nahi khate…
Saanp: Kyuki machli me kaante hote hain na…
Machli: To chappal pehan ke kha liya kar
Kapil Sharma:
Arz kiya hai…
Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya
Karna Chahti hain Romance
wah wah
Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya
Karna Chahti hain Romance
But Sidhu is Only interested in
Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance…
Ek katori lo,
usme kuch angoor dalo,
phir mirror k paas jao,
pata hai tumhe kya dikhega?
“langoor ke hath me anguur”
If u want the latest MERCEDEZ BENZ on very easy installment
of ten years with out downpayment and interest then log on to
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Sala samjh me nahi aa raha hai
Bazaar me mandi hai esliye loge ‘Whatsapp’ par hai!!!
Ya log pura din ‘Whatsapp’ par lage huye hain..
esliye bazaar me mandi hai ..!! :D
Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ?
Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!
Sometimes we don’t say what we feel, not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know how…
Sardar Ji : Mobile me kuch songs load kerwany hen.
Shopkeeper : Memory Card hai..??
Sardar Ji : Shanakhti Card hai, Memory Card to
abhi nahi banwaya.
रमन- यदि आपकी प्रेमिका खूबसूरत, समझदार, ध्यान रखने वाली, कभी न जलने
वाली और अच्छे व्यंजन बनाने वाली हो तो उसे आप क्या नाम देंगे?
राजू- अफवाह!
Chehre pe mere zulfo ko phailao kisi din,
Kyu roz sirf garajate ho, baras jao kisi din,
Khushbu ki tarah guzro mere dil ki gali se,
Phulon ki tarah mujhpe bikhar jao kisi din.
Que. – What is the perfect example of both Good & Bad Luck?
Ans. – The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)
but at the same time …
Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)…
"Anything is Valuable only in
2 Situations"
First-
Before Getting It,.,
Second-
After Loosing It,.,
"In Between YOU Never Realise The Value"
Ja Rahe Hum marne aj man udas hai
Yaad nai kiya usne jiski muje aas hai Muje
Bhul Gye wo jo sabse khas hai . .
.
Chalo ab msg kro upar likha sab bakwaas hai!
Aache dost ko hamesha manana chahiye chahe vo kitne bhi ruth jaye kyonke…………. wo kamene hamare sare razz jante hai.
Tuhadi naal bas ik mulakaat hoyee
Akhan hi akhan ch baat hoyee
Baisakhi ch nave pyar di shuruyat hoyi
Jindagi ch khushiyan di barsaat hoyee
Ladkon ko hasmukh ladkiyan badi pasand aati hain. Tum uske ghatiya se ghatiya baat par bhi zor-zor se haso. Wo bahut khush ho jayega aur tumhe chahne lagega.
Biwi ne Dua kyun nahin mangi?
Biwi ne namaaz padhkar dua ke liye haath uthaye, par kuchh nahin manga aur haath neeche kar liye!
Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”
Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!
Facebook is a place where a Boy Posts Joke but Gets No Response..
.
.
.
But if a Girl Posts The Same Joke…
She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests !
Facebook is a place where a Boy Posts Joke but Gets No Response..
.
.
.
But if a Girl Posts The Same Joke…
She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests !
If wife wants husband’s attention, She just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, He just has to look comfortable & happy.
Girlfriend: Jaanu tum bahot badal Gaye ho, kal raat mere message ka reply bhi nahi kiya
Boy: nahi jaanu kaam mein busy tha…
GF: 2-3 din se tum kaam ka bahana bana rahe ho. tum mujhse kuch chupa rahe ho…
Boy: nahi Jaanu thodi tention hai..
GF: tum hamesha apni tention mujhse chupate ho.mujhe batao hum dono mil kar koi solution nikalenge. tum mujhe kuch to batao problem kya hai..
Boy: Toh le sun
BOILER FEED PUMP ka bearing temp bahut jaldi jaldi badh raha hai..usme abnormal sound bhi aa raha hai. Lube oil pressure to sahi hai.mujhe lagta hai Discharge valve Puri tarah se open nahi ho raha hai.lekin control room me feedback to open ka aa raha hai.lagta hai C & I ka problem hai..
GF: ok jaanu Mai jati Hu maa bula rahi hai..
Meri chahat Ka ehsas Agar Us Tak Pohnch Jaye
To Bas Itna Keh Dena .....
Hum Jese Log Kho Jayain To Phir Dobara Nahi
Milte...
Ek teacher ne ek student se pucha Automatically ka kya matlab hota h. Student -jab ek ganji aurat auto me beth ke jati h to use auto mein takli kehte h.
Stand in front of mirror
with one glass of water..
&
throw water on the mirror
&
say..
” Ahaa.. Nahaa liye..!! ” :-D
Koi pyaara sa gift present karein: Aap koi aisa gift unhe dein jo unke dil ko chhu jaaye, ye zaruri nahi ki gift kisi khaas mauke par hi diya jaaye, bas aap mauke ko na dekhkar kisi achhe se gift mein unka naam likhar unhe present kar dein, phir dekhiye kamaal.
Kapil Sharma And A Girl Standing On The Bus Stop....
Kapil : Oo Ji Main Kya...Nice Lipstick.
Girl: Thanks.
Kapil : Oo Ji Main Kya.. Nice Top And Jeans
Girl: Thanks.
Kapil: Oo Ji Main Kya..Nice Ear-Rings
Girl: Thanks.
Kapil : Aur Toh Aur Nice Necklace..
Girl: Thank you so much BHAIYA.
Kapil : Kamaal Hai..
Itni Saari Achi Cheeze Phir Bhi Tu Bhootni Lag Rahi Hai..
Jindgi mai ek baat yad rakhna
Ansu phochne wale bahot milenge
Par naak phochne koi nahi ata
Ishliye hamesha rumaal sath rakho….!!!
Dil Ki Hasrat Zuban Pe Aane Lagi
Tune Dekha Aur Zindagi Muskurane Lagi
Yeh Ishq Ki Inteha Thi Ya Deewangi Meri
Har Soorat Mein Soorat Teri Nazar Aane Lagi.
During a heart transplant.
Doctor: Sh!t
Nurse: what happened.
D: My mobile network is gone.
N: So?
D: I don’t know what to do next.
N: Why.
D: I’m from IIN.
Nurse behosh…
Group Members Chahe Kaise Bhi Ho: Awaara, Pagal aur ya fir Deewane.
Par Jab Unke Message Aate Hai to Chehre pe Muskaan Jaroor Aati Hai.
Tab Mehsus Hota Hai Ki Saale, Tedhe hein Par Mere hai!
Birthday par koi wish nahi
karta..
.
.
Lekin result Par Dada ki mausi
ki beti ki nanand
ke bhai ka phone bhi aa jata hai
1 stone is enough 2 break a glass,
1 sentence is enough 2 break a Heart,
1 sec. Is enough 2 fall in love.....
But why 1 lesson isn't enough 2 PASS in Xam?????
संता और बंता एक बुजुर्ग की मृत्यु पर शोकसभा में गए। वहां पर एक लड़की आई और संता के गले लग कर रोने लगी। थोड़ी देर तक तो बंता यह देखता रहा,
अगर वह परेशान है तो उन्हें गले लगाकर इस बात का एहसास दिलाएं कि वह आपके लिए कितना मायने रखती है।
Har Roz Koi Khawab Toot Jaata Hai,
Har Roz Koi Apna Rooth Jaata Hai,
Na Jany Meri Qismat Main Kya Hai..
Jise Main Yaad Karu Wohi Mujhe Bhool Jata Hai..!!
Zindagi Jeene ke Liye Mili Thi,
Afsos Aey Yaaro,
Mene Us K Intazar Mein Guzar Di..!
Logo ko aksar kehte suna hai ki..
Zinda rahe to fir milenge.
Magar is dil ne mahsoos kiya ki..
Milte rahoge to zinda rahenge.
Aapka Aashiyana Dil Me Basa Rakha hai,
Aapki Yado Ko Dil Se Laga Rakha hai,
Pata nhi yaad Aapki hi kyu Aati hai,
Jabki dost to Humne Auro ko Bhi bana Rakha hai.
Main to Apni Tanhaiyo Se Tang Aa kar
Mahobbat ki talash me nikali thi..!!
Par..
Mujhe to mahobbat bhi aise mili jo aur tanha kar gai!!
SANTA: Rasgulle hai?
DUKANDAAR: Nahi
SANTA: Dekh lunga
DUKANDAAR (Gusse me): Kya dekh loge?
SANTA: Dusri dukaan me jakar dekh loonga!
Aap unke sath hamesha unke baare me hi baate kare, aur unko special hone ka ehsas jarur dilaye, isse wo aapki Diwani ho jayegi.