STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful.
Pappu: walked straight to the ugly girl.
Pappu : Hi!
Girl : Hi!!
Pappu : Wanna dance ?
Girl : Yes (excited)
Pappu : Ok, go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.
1
Garmi ki chhuttiyo ke do special fayde...
...ek to biwi mayke jati h...aur..koi purani saheli mayke aati hai.
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'Golden Words,
Agar Zindagi Me Kamyab Insan Banna Hai,
To Apne Se Aagay Wale Ka Pajama Utar Do,
Wo Sharam Se Wahin Beth Jae Ga,
Aur Tum Aagay Nikal Jao Ge.
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Ek Bar Love Bus Me Kahi Ja Rha Tha,
To Ek Girl Ne Love Se Kha,
Kya Apke Pas Pani H To Love Ne Kha Yes
Ye Lo Fir Uske Bad Us Girl Ne Kha,
Kya Mai Window Ke Pas Baith Skti Hu,
To Love Ne Kha Yes Fir Uske Bad Us Girl Ne Kha,
Bhaiya Time Kya Hai
To Love Ne Jor Se Kha Chup To,
Aas Pas Ke Log Puchne Lge Kya Hua
To Love Kha Ye Mujhe Bhaiya Bol Hai
To Logo Me Kha To Kya Hua
Love Ne Kha Kya Me Bda Bhai Hone Ke Nate
Me Apni Choti Behan Ko Dant Ni Skta.
1
Teacher:
Prasang Sahit Vyakhya Karo -
"Bhige Hoth Tere, Pyasa Dil Ye Mera"
Student:
Ye Line Bollywod Ke Prasidh Kavi Sant,
Shri Emraan Hashmi Ji Ki Rachna
'Murder' Ki Prasidh Kavita
"Bhige Hoth Tere" Se Li Gayi Hai.
Is Kavita Me Kavi Jab Bhi,
Devi Mallika Ko Nirvastra,
Nachte Hue Dekhtey Hai To,
Unka Sabr Tut Jaata Hai Aur Wo Kehte Hai
"Hey Devi Jis Tarha Tumharey,
Hotho Ke Andar Ka Jal,
Tumhari Pyas Bhuja Raha Hai,,
Ussi Tarha Main Bhi Ussi Jal Se
Apni Pyaas Bhujana Chahta Hun",
In Lines Se Humko Kavi Ke Kamine
Evam Ashl!l Hone Ka Ehsas Hota Hai.
Kavi Ke Bhav Saral Evam Spasht Roop Se Tharqii Hai.
Unhone Bahut Kathor Bhavo Ko,
Badi Saralta Se Apni Rachna Me Dikhaya Hai.=))
Teacher Fainted!
1
After getting the friend request on
facebook
from an unknown guy.
.
Girl : Hey do i know you ?
Boy : Of course no !!!
Girl : Then why the hell did you
send me a
request?
.
(here is awesome reply from the guy)
.
.
Boy : Well facebook suggests me to
add you
again and again.
and
I don't want to "HURT" Facebook!!
??
1
Ek pagal ne ek pagal ki jaan bachai
Doctor ne usse office bulaya or kaha
Tum ne us pagal ko pani k tub se nikal kar ye sabit kiya hai ki tum normal hoo
Lekin afsoos usne subah rasi se latak kar phir khud kushi kar li
.
.
.
Pagal: hahahaha
Wo to
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo to maine usse sukhne ke liye latkaya tha.
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Who said car names don't have meaning
? FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
? FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.
? HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....
?? VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
?? PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.
? OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life
? TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.
?? HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.
?? BMW: Big Money Waste
?AUDI : An unwanted debt invitation
?Mercedes: Maximum enthusiasm , recurring cost, ego developed, eagerness to sell
And d best..
?? MARUTI:.
.
..
.
.
Made According to Roads & Users Typically Indian
?????
~?~???~?~?
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Santa: Meri Wife Mujhe Naukar Samajhne Lagi Hai
Batao Main Kya Karun?
Banta: Karna Kya Hai,
2-4 Ghar Aur Pakad Aur Apna dhandha jama le
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Banta at Microsoft Interview:
Interviewer: Which r the 4 versions of Java ?
Banta: MarJava, MitJava, LutJava, Sadke Java !
Interviewer-Great ! Ab ghar java !
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Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done,she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
Husband says : "Hi Darling, Your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you said Hello to them.." :-D
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Girls of today:
Boy : Hi
Girl : What?
Boy : How are you?
Girl : Do I know you?
Boy : I'm rich...
Girl : Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby". I'm
19 & I stay in Actonville . I love short dark men...especially
like you...& I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy : No, no, no "Rich" is my name.
Girl : Sorry I don't talk to strangers
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Girl calls a boy:
Girl: Hello baby
Boy: Ohh janu bolo
Girl: Kahan ho yara subah se koi ata pata nahi!
Boy: Arre hum to khoye hue hain aapki aankhon mein
Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho??
Boy: Tumhari photo dekh raha hun, kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha..
Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi nahi!!
Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai barson se..
Girl: But hum to parson hi mile hain!!
Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal barson hai Pinky....
Girl: Pinky? Ye pinky kaun hai ?? Main to nisha hun
Boy: Tumse baat karke mai to sab bhul jata hun
Girl: Tum prashant ho na....??
Boy: Gharwale to Raju bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain tum nahi..
Girl: Ye 998XXXXXX hai na....??
Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab se yehi hai….!!
1
ek baar
ek admi
road par chal raha tha
saamne gobar padaa huwa tha
admi ne
gobar me ungli daalkar
taste krkr
kaha: shukr hai bhagwan meraa iss par pair nhi padaa.....
ek like to bantaa h boss
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Ek Baar ek Baap apne
Bete se Milne City jaata hai.
Waha uske
Bete ke Saath ek Beautiful Ladki bhi
Rehti hai !
Teeno Dinner ki Table pe Bait Jaate
hai......
DAD: Beta Ye Ladki kaun hai ?
BETA : Ye Meri Room mate hai Dad,........
Mere Saath he Rehti hai.
Mujhe pata hai Aap kya Sonch rahe
Honge.....
But HumDono ke Beech koi
Physical Relationship Nahi hai...
Hum
dono ke Rooms Alag hai,
Hum log alag
alag He Sote hai,
We're just Good
Friends !
DAD : Acha beta!!
Dusre din uska Dad Wapis chala jaata
hai..
AFTER A WEEK.....
LADKI : Hey ! Last Sunday Tumhare
papa ne jis Plate me Dinner Kiya, wo
plate Gayab hai , Mujhe Shak hai
Tumhare papa ne Chori ki hogi !
LADKA : What Rubbish ! Shut up !
LADKI : Ek Baar puch toh lo, kya Galti
hai !
LADKA : Ok !
Ladka apne Dad ko Email Bhejta hai..
It says...
"Dear Dad,
Mai yeh nahi keh Raha hu ki aapne Plate
chori ki...
Mai Yeh bhi Nahi Keh Raha hoon ki
Aapne Plate Chori Nahi Ki...
Agar Galti se plate le Gaye ho, please
wapis kardena, Wo uss Ladki ka Lucky
plate hai !
- Your Son !
After few hours he got a Reply from his
Dad !
"Dear Son,
Mai ye Nahi keh Raha hoon ki Teri
Roommate Tere Sath Soti hai...
Mai ye bhi Nahi keh Raha hoon ki wo
Tere Sath Nahi Soti hai...
Agar Iss Pure week me atleast Ek baar
wo Apne Room me, Apni Bed pe so jati,
To uske Takiye ke Neeche he plate
Miljaati jo Maine Chupaya tha
-Tera Baap .
Baap Baap Hota Hai:D
B+
1
In Metro-
He - Hey!
Are You Single ?
She- Ummm,
Yes !
He- Toh Ladkiyo Wale Dabbe Me Jaya
Kar Na Behan,
Yaha Kyo Seat Rok Ke Baithi Hai.
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3 Sardar Picnic Par Gaye Wahan Ja Kar Yaad Aaya Ke Pepsi To Ghar Bhul Gaye,
Decide Kiya Ke Sab Se Chota Sardar Ja Kar Pepsi Le Aaye,
Chota Sardar:- Main Is Shart Par Jaunga Ki Tum Mere Aane Tak Samose Nhi Khaoge...
Dono Ne Kaha Theek Hai,
1 Din Guzar Gaya Sardar Nhi Aaya,
2 Din Guzr Gaye
2no Ne Socha Ke Ab Samose Kha Lene Chahiye,
Dono Ne Jaise Hi Samosa Uthaya...
Chota Sardar Ped Ke Peche Se Nikal Ke Bola...
Aise Karoge To Main Nhi Jaonga...
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Santa: Maine Apki Dukan Se,
Murgi Dana Kharida Tha
Dukandar: To Kya Usme Koi Kharabi Nikli
Santa: Mahina Ho Gaya Muje Khet Me Boye,
Ab Tak Murgi Nahi Ugi.
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Ladke Ne Apni Nayi Bani Girl-Friend Ko Bade Pyar Se Samjhate Hue Kaha.
Boy: “Darling Humhare Pyaar Ke Baare Me Kisi Ko Kuch Mat Batana”
Girl: “Aapki Bahan Ko To Zarur Bataongi”
Boy: “Arrey Usko Kyu?”
Girl: “Kamini Kahti Thi Koi Kutte Ka Pilla Hi Hoga Jo Tum Se Pyaar Karega.“
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"Premika ne Premi ko ? Romantic andaaz mein, Ek baat puchu, Kya Tum Shaadi Ke Baad Bhi Mujhe Itna Hee Pyar Karoge?
Premi ? Kyon nahi mein to deewana hu shaadi-shuda aurton ka darling."
1
Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye? School 7 baje shuru hota he...
.
.
.Funny Kid: Madam, Aap meri fikar mat kia karo,
School shuru karwa dia karo.
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Wife calls to her husband :=Window ka lock ni khul
rha hai?
Husbnd := aisa kro thoda oil garam kr ke us pr
daal do?
Wife := Kya us se lock khul jaega?
Husbnd := Try to kro
.
.
.
After15 mints
Husband calls wife
Tum ne try kia?
Wife:= Han kia, par ab to Laptop hi Off ho gaya
hai
Husbnd:= Jahil Aurat
Window to batati konsi hai?
1
Exam was going on in a hall........
Everyone was going to fail....
Supervising teacher was strict nd was roaming throughout the hall.......
No one could copy......
Banta wrote something on a paper nd gave it 2 d teacher.....
D teacher sat on d chair in 1 corner nd did not get up.....
Everyone copied nicely?.....
After exam Santa asked Banta dat what did he write on d paper.......
Banta said, " aapki salwar piche se fati hui hai"
???
For the first time presenting intelligent Banta?
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Salesman-Which soap do you use?
Santa-BABA?S Soap,BABA?S Paste,BABA?S Brush.
Salesman-Is BABA?S an international company?
SAnta: BABA is my room mate!!!!!!
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What is the difference between PROBLEM. TALENT. .AND. KISMAT?
2boys love 1 girl=problem.
1 boy love 2 girl=talent.
2girl love 1 boy=kismat.
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Mikymouse vs Deadmau5
Miki- mere pass , bangla hai , gadi hai , dost hai,Fans hai,Girlfriend hai, Disney land hai!!!
Tumahare pass kya hai??
.
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.
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Killer reply by Deadmau5
Mere pass BASS hai....!!
??????
1
Ek ladki prfum laga kar bus main bathi
Ladko ne coment pass kiya !
Aaj kal phinel ka use kuch jyada ho raha hain......
Ladki boli fir bhi cockroach picha nahi chodte
1
Aajtak ke team ne ek zakhmi se pucha jab bomb blast hua to kya aap wehi tha?
ZAKHMI Gusse se-Nahi Saale!.!
Teri wife ke massaj karns aaya tha...
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Exam se pehle pappu ne ek hi nibandh yaad kiya
tha ....'MY FRIEND'
Aur exam me aaya .....
'MY FATHER'
par pappu gabhraya nahi...hoshiyari dikhai aur yaad
kiye hue nibandh me "Friend" shabd ki jagah
"Father" likh kar aa gaya. Jis examiner ne uski copy
check ki wo aaj tak behosh hai !!
Pappu wrote:
I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON.
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS.
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE
AND SOME ARE FEMALE.
MY MOTHER IS VERY CLOSE TO
MANY OF MY FATHERS.
My uncle is also my Father.
MY TRUE FATHER IS MY
NEIGHBOUR..
And I love all my Fathers.
b'coz
Har ek Father zaruri hota hai!!
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Koi Pathar Se Na Maare Mere Deevane Ko,
Koi Pather Se Na Maare Mere Deevane Ko,
.
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.
.
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Nuclear Power Ka Zamana Hai,
Bom Se Uda Do Saale Ko.
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Joke time
If a tiger attacks ur mother-in-law and ur wife at the same time, whom would u save? .........
SANTA : Ofcourse,
The tiger.. very few are left..!!!!
1
Teachr=Beta Batao Ki
?Fast?
?Faster?,
?Fastest?
Forms Ko Hindi Me Kaise Kahenge?
Studnt=
?Bhaag?
?Taiz Bhaag?
.
.
.
?Bhaag Teri Maa Ki??;)
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Parents r confused
whether to send kids to sell Tea & become Modi;
Send them to IIT & become Kejriwal;
Or
(Go Abroad and) do nothing to become Rahul
Gandhi
!!! Hard Decision !!!
1
Awesome joke...
Father: I have 4 sons
1st - Engineer
2nd - MBA
3rd - Ph. D
4th - Thief
Neighbour - why don't you throw ur 4th son out of the house..
Father : He is the only one EARNING in the house, rest are jobless !!!
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Jab bhi gali me chalo nazren jukha ke chalo qki
.
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aisa karne se na sirf apki izzat badhegi balki...
.
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gire hue paise milne k chance bhi badh jayenge.. :p :O :
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ek bar goverment ne gar gar pe jakar toilet ka sarvey start kiya govrment sir sab gar ka sarvey krte huye minu k gar phoche
sir : kya aapke gar me toilet he?
minu : ha he na kyu aapko lgi he
1
Raat ke bara baj rahe the tare chamak rahe teh kutee bhok rahe the choor darewaja leekar paisa choori kar raha tha ek pagal police station Gaya aur bola ke raat ke 12 Baj rahe the tare bhook rahe teh kute chamak rahe the choor darwaja thode ke le Gaya police bola illegal andar Dalo iseey
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Baap : Beta is bar exam main tujhe
90% lanay hain, kuch bhi kar.
Baita : nahi abba main to is bar 100%
laonga.
Baap : Kiyon mazak kar raha hai?
Baita : shuru kisnay kia?:D:D
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A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excelant
F : u r alwayz First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z
1
3 Dost..
Billu, Gullu & Ulloo?
Billu ? B.Sc. mein padh raha hai?
Gullu ? M.A. mein padh raha hai?
Aur hamara Ulloo ??
Yeh shayariya padh raha hai?
?Haa Haa Haa?
Hanso mat? SHARE karo
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Master : kanjus kise kahte hai Student : jo 100 sms send karne par b reply nahi krte.
master : very good ek example batao .
student : aapki beti.
1
santa 500 k note pr likha nmbr dial kr rha tha banta- ye tum kya kr rahe ho? yar me dekh raha hu gandhi ji to chale gaye par unka mobile kiske pas hai
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Naukrani: Malkin Aap Udaas kyo hai...
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyar karte hain...
Naukrani: Nahii, Sahab Mujhe dhokha nahi de sakte
1
Premika: Main maa banne wali hoon,
Premi: Kya bakwas kar rahi ho..
Premika: Bakwas nahi, main tumhare papa se shaadi kar ke tumhari maa banne wali hoo.
1
Doctor Jokes - doctor jokes in Hindi
Socho Agar doctors film banate to title kya hota:
1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukham
2. Kaho na bukhar hai
3. TB no. 1
4. Kal patient ho na ho
5. Hum blood de chuke sanam
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Ekbar ek sharabi ja raha tha achanak kichchad me gir gaya itneme bijli chamki sharabi bola he bhagwan ek to kichchad me gira diya aur photo bhi khinch liya
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Ek Sardar apne Marriage Certificate ko ek ghante se dekh raha tha.Biwi boli:tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
Sardar:Expiry Date dekh raha hu. ....
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Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Sardar: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Sardar: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega
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School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
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.
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Sardar Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Sardar: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
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