Kutte Bhonkte Hai Apne Zinda Hone Ka
Ehsas Dilane Ke Liye.Magar
Jungle Ka Sannata
Sher Ki Moujudagi Byan Karta Hai.
Trust because you are willing to accept the risk, not because it's safe or certain. -Anonymous
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. -John Wooden
Mohhobat ke rasto pe sirf dard milega,
Wah wah
Mohabbat ke rasto pe sirf dard milega.
Unnhi rastho pe BAR kholo.. bahut chalega.
This one is ultimate
A girl says to her boyfriend:One kiss and I will be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning.
Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?
Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein aur aap kya mangoge?
Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho!!
Teacher: Where is the CAPITAL of INDIA ?
Student: In Swiss Banks.
Doctor to Female:
Kya aap delivery ke time.
bachche ke pita ko apne paas dekhna chahogi?Female: Nahi unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte.
Banane Wale Ne Bhi Tujhe
Kisi Karan Se Banaya Hoga
Choda Hoga Jab Zameen Par Tujhe
Uske Seene Mein Bhi Dard To Aaya Hoga.
A lady gave a crumpled Note of Rs. 500 to a shopkeeper.
Shopkeeper said: Mam did you keep this Rs. 500 Note in your Bra?
Lady: Yes but how do u know?
Shopkeeper: Because Gandhiji’s mouth is open.
And be gracious if she’s fashionably late. (She probably just doesn’t want to show up before you get there.)
My Mom and I have had a rocky past and I had left the house at the age of 14. There were a lot of mixed feelings between us. I will always love my Mom, but the anger that I felt kept us a part for 3 years. At 18 I had my daughter, and I really wanted my Mom to be in her life. So I called her days before my daughter was born, and told her I would love her to be there. She was ecstatic. We talked for a long time and I told her that I didn’t want to fight anymore. I apologized for the trouble I caused as a teenager, and our relationship slowly started to come together. We still have our differences but I learned that discussing my problems with her, instead of arguing, makes a big difference. Forgiving my Mom and letting go of the past has taken a lot of stress out of my life. I wish I would have done it 5 years earlier.
There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker.
One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not.
This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.
The farmer replied, amour Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?"
The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him.
Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."
What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.
Mein Tod Leta Agar Tum Gulab Hoti,
Main Jawab Banta Agar Tum Sawal Hoti,
Sabhi Jante Hai Ki Mein Nasha Nahi Karta,
Fir Bhi Pee Lete Agar Tum Sharaab Hoti.
The devils challenged
the angels to a game of cricket.
We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels.
Devils:No problem,
we have got all the umpires.
Ladkiyo ka real fact: pehle to ladke se kehti hai,
tum mujhe pasnd karte ho na..
Ladka: Nahi to..
Ladki: Me sab janti hu..
Ladka: Pata hai ek ladki mujhe acchi lagti hai..
Ladki: Wo main hi hu na such bolo..
Moral: Ladke kabhi purpose karte nai ladkiyan karwati hai.
Pyar wo hain jisme sachai sath ho,
Saathi ki har baat ka ehsaas ho,
Uski har ada par naaz ho,
Dur rehkar bhi pass hone ka ehsaas ho.
Ladka Ladki dekhne gaya…
Unko baat karne ke liye akele baitha diya gaya!
Ladki darte darte: Bhaiya aap kitne bhai behen ho?
Ladka: Abhi tak 3 the, ab 4 ho gaye
Rangeen ho tum Rango se zyada,
Mehkte ho tum Phulo se zyada,
Smart ho tum Mujhse zyada Agar ye sochte ho tum to.
‘Bewkoof ‘ ho tum had se zyada
Sweetest kiss- On the head.
Loveliest kiss- On cheeks!
Most romantic kiss- On the lips!
N the hottest kiss?
On d bike’s silencer. GM
Love is sweet poison: .. Do not consume without your beloveds advise .. and keep out of reach of children .. and keep it in cool and dark place.
Patni (santa se) pahle kyu nahi btaya ki…
tumhari pahli shadi rani se ho rakhi hai.
Santa: maine kha to tha ki…
shadi ke bad tumhai rani ki tarh rakunga
Tiger & his baby resting under the tree.
Suddenly a deer passes very fast.
Baby asked
What was that?
Tiger smiled & said:
FAST FOOD
Whats live ? Live is love.
Whats love ? Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you
Ek dukhi girlfriend ne, Apne boyfrnd ke liye Shayari likhi…
Phoolo ka raja Baharo ka shahzada Phoolo ka raja baharo ka shahzada . .
Dil todh kar chala gaya.. KUTTA KAMINA HARAMZADA -
Kash sab log ek jaise hote
Ek hum hai jo msg nahi apna dil bhejte hai,
aur
Ek aap ho jo dil rakhne ke liye bhi msg nahi bhejte!
Never break four things in ur life-
Trust,
Promise,
Relation
Heart
bcoz when they break don’t make noise but pains a lot?
I luv my eyes when u look into them;
I luv my name when u say it;
I luv my heart when u luv it;
I luv my life when you are in it.
Ek callgirl ka Janaza nikla to use dekh ek aadmi bola
Chalo achha hua akhir aapas mein dono mili to sahi.
Dusre ne pucha kaun dono?
Aadmi ne kaha USKI TANG.
Zindgi me 4 cheeje aapka saath nahi chhodegi,
1.Dil ki Dhadkan
2.Parchhai
3.Knowledge
&
4.Wo “AAFAT” jiska aap SMS padh rahe ho
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Jab bhi ghoomne jao aur paisekharch karne ka waqt aaye to tum bhi paise kharch kiya karo. Ladkon ko ye lagta hai ki agar unke jeevan mein koi ladki aayi to jeb dheeli ho jayegi. Tum kharcha karogi to wo khush ho jayega aur tumhe chahne lagega. Ek baar pyaar ho gaya fir tum batwa ghar bhool jaana – sab chalta hai.
Karishma Tanna & Alia Bhatt Were Fighting After Exam….
Sir: “Why Are You Fighting?”
Karishma: “This Fool Left The Answer Sheet Blank”
Sir: “So What?”
Karishma: “Even I Did The Same Thing, Now Teacher Will Think That We Both Copied“..
When a Boy Sends Dirty SMS
.
She Laughs For 10 Minutes,
Forwards That to Her Friends
and..
Then Replies the Boy
I Don’t Like That Kind of SMS :/
What is Success?
Father: Success is when signature turns into autograph.
Son: No dad,
Success is…
when Signature turns into
Black Label or Chivas Regal!
ChivasRegal-signatue-joke
Why are people so worried about the 'blue ticks' on Whatsapp?
Calm down...
It's just a messaging service...
.
.
.
.
and not a Pregnancy Test!
Teri saadgi ko nihaarne ka dil karta hain, Tamaam umr tere naam karne ka dil krta hai Ek mukammal shayari hain tu kudrat ki, Tuje ghazal banake juba pe lane ka dil krta h.
Ladke ne Ladki ko Aankh maari
Ladki: Mai esi wesi ladki nahi hu ..
Ladka: Wo to theek hai par check karna hamara Farz banta hai!!
HEER::main tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gayi,,lut gyi, fanaa ho gayi...
RAANJHA::To kamini,,me kaun sa tere pyar me doctor Engineer ya CA ban gaya...!!
Hum Sath Marne Ka Soch Kar Dariya me Kud
Gaye
.
Uppar Pahuch K Farishte Ne bataya
.
.
Beta teri wali
to swiming champion thi
संता बंता से कहता है
अगर कोई कहे कि प्यार से ज्यादा मुश्किल कुछ नहीं होता
तो उसके सिर पर किताबें दे मारो।
संता- कौन कहता है सिर्फ मोहब्बत में जान जाती है।
बंता- मैं कहता हूं
संता- कमबख्त कभी दरवाजे में अंगुली आ जाएं तो भी जान निकल जाती है।
______________________
संता-वहां जो आदमी बैठा है, उससे मेरी दुश्मनी है।
बंता- वहां तो 4 आदमी बैठे हैं।
संता- वह जिसने शर्ट पहनी है।
बंता- शर्ट तो सबने पहनी है।
संता- अरे, जो बात कर रहा है।
बंता- बात तो सब कर रहे हैं।
संता ने गुस्से में पिस्टल निकाली और 3 आदमियों को गोली मार दी। फिर वह बोला- वह जो रह गया है, उसको मैं नहीं छोड़ूंगा।
थोड़ी देर तक तो बंता यह देखता रहा, फिर लड़की से बोला, इधर मेरे पास आ जाओ। वह बुजुर्ग रिश्ते में मेरे भी वही लगते थे, जो संता के लगते थे।