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Varun's Joke
Kissing My Wife

Boss To His Frnd: Kya Zamana Aaya
Hai, My Secretary Resigned Yesterday.
Frnd: Why.
Boss: She Caught Me Kissing My Wife.

Jan,18 2016
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Naak Hi Kafi Hai

Har Gunah Ki Aapko Mafi Hai
Aap Jo Roye To Bahut Na Insaafi Hai
Kabhi Pani Na Aaye Aapki Aankho Me,
Behne Ke Liye To Aapki Naak Hi Kafi Hai

Jan,18 2016
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शराब से ज्यादा

शराबी: शराब से ज्यादा पानी नुकसान पहुँचाता है
सुमेर: बिलकुल गलत, ऐसा नहीं है
शराबी: क्यों पिछले साल ही बाढ़ से, हजारों लोगो की जान गयी थी

 

Jan,18 2016
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Good Morning

Jan,16 2016
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Aitbar Karo

Zindagi Haseen Hai Zindagi Se Pyar Karo,
Ho Raat To Subah Ka Intzar Karo,
Wo Pal Bhi Aayega Jis Pal Ka Intzar Hai Apko,
Bas Rab Pe Bharosa Aur Waqt Pe Aitbar Karo.

Jan,14 2016
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Good Night

Jan,11 2016
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Papa Ke Upar Baith

Son : Mummy Aap Papa Ke Upar Baith Kar Jump Kyu Karti Ho?
Mom : Unke Pet Ki Hawa Nikalti Hoon.
Son : Kya Fayda, Kaamwali Aunty Papa Ki Pant,
Utarkar Mooh Lagakar Phir Se Bhar Deti Hai.

Jan,4 2016
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Biwi Ka Mazak

Sardar: Meri Bewi Itna Mazak Krti Hy K Kya Bataon.
Dost: Kya Mazak Krti Ha?
Sardar: Kal Mai Ghar Gya Uski Ankhon Par Hath Rakha, 
Or Wo Mazak Ma Boli Dudhwala.

Jan,4 2016
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Happy New Year

Dec,31 2015
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Sasural Wale

Father: Beta Agar Sasural Wale Scooter De To Car Magna,
Shop De To Ghar Mangna, Coolar De To AC Mangna.
Beta: Papa Agar Wo Ladki De To Kya Sath Me Uski Dusri Bahan Vi Mang Lu.

Dec,31 2015
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सलवार पहन कर घूम

Dec,29 2015
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Sukh Gaye Hum

Teacher Ranjikaant Par Koi Joke Sunao
Student: Barish Ho Rahi Thi Bheeg Gaye Hum
Teacher: Age
Student: Age Kaya Rajnikaant Ne Phoonk Mari Sukh Gaye Hum.

Dec,21 2015
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Wife Gum Ho

Husband: Meri Wife Gum Ho Gye Hai.
Post Master: Andhe Ye Post Office Hai
Police Station Jao.
Husband: Maaf Kijye Ga Khusi
Me Smjh Nhi A Rha Kidhr Jau.

Dec,15 2015
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Nigahe Tej Hoti Hai

Teacher: Tum Kise Prove Karoge Ki Green Vegitable Khane Se Nigahe Tej Hoti Hai
Student: Sir Aaj Tak App Ne Bakre Ya Ghore To Chasma Laga Hua Dekha Hai

Dec,15 2015
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Dost Ki Zarurat

Ek Haseen Pal Ki Zaroorat Hai Hume.
Beete Hue Kal Ki Zarurat H Hume.
Sara Jamana Ruth Gaya Humse.
Jo Kabhi Na Ruthe Aise Dost Ki Zarurat Hai Hume.

 

Dec,10 2015
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Simple Ladko

Yeh Ek Illusion Hi Hai Ki Ladkiyo Ko Good Looking Stylish Ladke Pasand Ate Hai,
Lekin Yeh Galat Dharna Hai. Ek Research ke Mulawit 86% Ladkiya Simple Ladko Ki Taraf Jyada Interest Leti Hai.

Dec,10 2015
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Kosish Kar Rahe Ho

Yaha Pr Ek Baat Dyan Rakhne Ki Hai Ki Ladki Ko Pata Nahi Lagna Chahia Ki Tum
Use Patane Ki Kosish Kar Rahe Ho.
Agar Use Pata Chal Jayega Toh Wo Nakhre Karegi Uske Bhao Bad Jayege
Fir Apka Kaam Taff Ho Sakta Hai Islye Jitana Ho Sake Apna Behaviour Normal Rakhe.

 

Dec,8 2015
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Toilet Gaya

Santa Public toilet gaya aur 1 Ghante baad nikla.
Bahar baitha Jamadaar bola: 20 rupe.
Santa: Saale Toilet me baitha tha, Cyber Cafe me nhi.

Dec,4 2015
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Sweet Dreams Embrace

Once the moon winks at u tonight,
I wish sweet dreams embrace you tight.
Hope your day was quite all right,
& now I bid u a lovely good night.

Dec,3 2015
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Ladkiyo Mein

Agar apne dosto ko chhor ke aap 24 ghante ladkiyo mein ghuse rehte hein,
Toh aap Cocktail ke hero nahi, AAP CHUTIYE HAIN

Dec,2 2015
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Get Closer

Then break eye contact just long enough to glance down at his lips.
It's a subtle cue that you're open to a kiss.

Dec,1 2015
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Diye Ki Tarah

Jalate hain hum apne dil ko diye ki tarah,
Teri zindagi mein khushiyon ki roshni lane ke liye.
Seh jate hain har chubhan ko apne pairon tale,
Teri rahoon mein phool bhichane ke liye.

Dec,1 2015
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Faltu Ka Drama

Band karo apna Faltu ka Drama,
Band karo apna Faltu ka Drama,
Daya Isne kya kiya H,
Zara ise yaad to dilana.

Nov,30 2015
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Guzar Gaya

Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai,
Afsos karne jaana hai.

Nov,21 2015
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Bhul Gaya

Madam: Hand par ek sentence banao.
Boy: My penis in ur Hand.
Madam: MC ye kya likh diya.
Boy: Sorry mam pen ke baad space dena bhul gaya?

Nov,21 2015
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Nahi Dengey

Aapko kabhi humsey khone nahi dengey,
Aapko kabhi khud sey alag hone nahi dengey,
Kabhi hume sms b kar diya karo warna,
Aankh mei mirchi daal dengey aur dhone b nahi dengey.

Nov,20 2015
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Joy And Treasures

Sending thoughtful wishes your way in the hope you know the joy
And treasures that come with the Christmas season.

Nov,18 2015
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Kitna Bada


Aunty: Are Beta,
Kitna Bada ho gaya hai.
Ladka: Aree Aunty, Aapne Kab Dekha?

Nov,16 2015
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Koi Gila

Na rahe Koi Gila Is Qadar Wafa Denge,
Apki Ek Khushi Ki Khati Anso Tak Baha Denge,
Kabhi Na Bholenge Apki Dosti Ko Hum,
Dor Reh Kar Bhi Apko Dil Se Dua Denge.

Nov,13 2015
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With Hand

Teacher In Class Mein Bacho Ko Bolti Hai.
Teacher: Write A Sentence Ending With Hand.
Santa: My Penis In Ur Hand.
Teacher Santa Ko Chanta Maarti Hai.
Santa: Sorry Mam, Main Pen Aur Is Ke Bich Mein Space Dena Bhul Gaya Thha.

Nov,12 2015
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SCHOOL Ki Yaadein

LECTURE ME MASTI THI ,
HAMARI BHI KUCH HASTI THI,
TEACHER KA SAHARA THA DIL YE AAWARA THA,
KAHAN AA GAYE IS DEGREE KI AAFAT MEIN YAAR WO SCHOOL HI KITNA PAYARA THA.

Nov,11 2015
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Kuchh To Ehsah

Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash hai,
Har chehre mein kuchh to ehsah hai,
Aapse dosti hum yun hi nahi kar baithe,
Kya karen hamari pasand hi kuchh KHAAS hai.

Nov,9 2015
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Koi Fayda Nhi

Chut: A lund jb bhi tu jhoolega to mai tuje khada kar dungi.
Land: Sali koi fayda nhi re.
Chut: Kyu aisa bola.
Lund: Baad me fir tu jhoola degi.

Nov,9 2015
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Sacha Hai Ji

Jo Pyar Hamesha Sath Rahe Wo Sacha Hai Ji,
Jo Musibaton Mein Kaam Aaye Wo Acha Hai Ji,
Kabhi Kabhi Humse Bhi Ho Jati Hai Nadaniya,
Kyonki Dil To Baccha Hai Ji.

 

Nov,9 2015
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Kitna Pyar

Wife: Jaanu batao tum mujh se kitna pyar karte ho?
Husband: Bahut zyaada.
Wife: Phir bhi kitna
Husband: Itna ki dil kar raha hai ki tumhari jesi ek aur le aaoon.

Nov,6 2015
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Khadi Ho Gayi

Wife Nayi Transparent BRA Lekar Pati Ke Saamne Pehenkar Khadi Ho Gayi.
Pati: Badi SEXY Lag Rahi Ho mera khada kar diya.
Wife: Dukandar Bhi Yahi bol ra tha.

Nov,6 2015
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Height of guessing an answer.

Height of guessing an answer. Teacher: Who was chandra gupta morya. Santa: He was cousin of ganpati bappa morya.

Nov,4 2015
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Aankhen Milakar

Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare,
Isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.

Nov,4 2015
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Impress Karo

Apne Cell Phone Me Koi Romantic Ring Tone Hi Rakhe,
Romantic Ring Tone Sunkar Ladkiyan Jarur Impress Hoti Hai.
Ladkiyon Ko Patane Ke Liye Unhe Impress Karna Bahut Hi Jaruri Hai.

Nov,4 2015
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Dua Dunga

Kasam Se Har Ek Ladki Bhula Dunga,
Sab hi Ki Tasverain Jala DunGa,
Ek Tum hi Raho Ge Iss Dil Me,
Balance Dalwa Do Bhout Dua Dunga.

Nov,3 2015
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Candy Crush

When Modi meet Mark zuckerberg.
Zuckerberg: what can I do for betterment of indian people?
Modi: Tu pehle woh candy crush bandh kar.

 

Nov,3 2015
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Kya Doge

Patni: Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha,
Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?
Pati: Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.

Nov,3 2015
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अच्छी खबर

पत्नी: एक बात बोलूं?
पति: बोलो.
पत्नी: मारोगे तो नहीं?
पति: नहीं तो, क्या बात है?
पत्नी: मैं प्रेग्नेंट हूं.
पति: अरे ये तो अच्छी खबर है, फिर डर क्यों रही थी?
पत्नी: कॉलेज के दिनों में पापा को बताया था तो बड़ी मार पड़ी थी.

Nov,2 2015
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Good Personality

Ladkiyon ko Good personality wale Ladke bahut achche lagte hai,
Issliye koi achchi si Gym me exercise kar apni Body ko attractive banaye.
Isse Ladkiyan aapko dekhte hi impress ho jaengi.

Oct,29 2015
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Ladki Aur Dudh

Dudh Aur Ladki Me Kya Fark Hai.
Socho,
Socho,
Dudh Garam Hota Hai To,
Mallai Uppar Aati Hai.
Or Ladki Garam Ho To,
Mallai Niche Aati Hai.

Oct,29 2015
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Pappu Pass

Ishq ke school me naya mahoul taiyar ho gaya,
Pappu ki GF se puri class ko pyar ho gaya,
Bas tabhi se pappu udas ho gaya,
Puri class fail or Pappu pas ho gaya.

 

Oct,29 2015
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Barbaad ho Gaye The

Barbaad ho Gaye the hum Duniya ne yun Humko Sataya tha,
Har ek Mod pe Hum Girte the kisi ne bhi na Humko Uthaya tha,
Tab tune hi Sanam ek Umeed ka diya Jalaya tha,
Apne har ek Gam ko Chupakar mujhe jeena Sikhaya tha.

Oct,27 2015
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Zang Lagna

Lady- doctor mere lips pe infection ho gaya hai.

Doc- kiss kitni bar karti ho?

Lady- saal me ek bar.

Doc- infection nahi zang lag gaya hai.

Oct,27 2015
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Parents Raat Ko

Parents Raat Ko Sex Kar Rahe Thhey
Achanak Hi Bache Ki Neend Khull Gayi
Papa: Beta Neend Nahi Aa Rahi Kya?
Beta:Jab Kisi Ki Maa Chudh Rahi Ho To Bachhe Ko Kese Neend Aayegi.

Oct,27 2015
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Mushkil Mein Hoon

Santa:Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon.
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai.
Banta:Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.

Oct,26 2015
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