घर की छत पर कपड़े फैले थे तो ससुर ने पूछा ये काला कपड़ा किसका है
सास- ये बहू के अंतर्रवस्त्र हैं ससुर- अच्छा, कभी पहने हुए तो नहीं देखा इसे
संता कंडोम खरीदने गया मेडिकल स्टोर वाले ने पूछा कौन सा फ्लेवर दूं
संता- छोले भटूरे वाला फ्लेवर
Yadi Apko Koi Ladki Pasand Ati Hai To Usse Dheere-Dheere Najre Milane Ki Koshish Kare
Aur Dhyan Rakhe Ki Uske Man Me Apke Prati Koi Galat Dharna Na Aye.
Yadi Apko Koi Ladki Pasand Ati Hai To Usse Dheere-Dheere Najre Milane Ki Koshish Kare
Aur Dhyan Rakhe Ki Uske Man Me Apke Prati Koi Galat Dharna Na Aye.
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, Tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU: B.A.
MUNNA BHAI: Sala, do akshar pada aur who bhi ulta?
Haqiqat Mohabbat Ki Judaai Hoti Hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Pyar Main Bewafai Hoti Hai,
Humari Taraf Haath Badhaa Kar Toh Dekh,
Dosti Main Kitni Sachhai Hoti Hai
People Update Facebook Status Via BlackBerry And iPhone.
Rajinikanth Updates His Status Via Calculator.
Santa : Soch Raha Hu Ki USA Ghumaun,
Kitna Paisa Lagega,
Banta : Kuch B Nahi
Santa : Kaise,
Banta : Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte
Ajib Mousam Hai.Gardison ka,
Samajh Hi Nhi Aata.Ki Main Unse Door Hoon..
Ya Wo mujhse
Pyar Ka Tohfa Hr Kisiko Nhi Milta
Ye Wo Phul H Jo Hr Bhaag Me Nhi Khilta
Is Phul Ko Kabi Tutne Mat Dena
Qki Tuta Hua Phul Wapas Nhi Khilta
Santa : Sister Muje 1 Bottle Blood Dedo,
Nurse: Blood Group Bolo.
Santa : Koi Bhi Chalega,
Nurse : Kaise Chalega,
Santa : Girlfriend Ko Love Letter Likhana Hai.
Sorry Works When Mistake Is Made.
But Sorry Does Not Work When Trust Is Broken.
So Do Mistakes But Never Break Someone’s Trust.
Jab Aap Sms Nahi Karte Itna Gussa
Aata Hai 'Dil To Chahta Hai CHAPPAL Utar
Kar.JOOTE Pahan lu Aur Aapse Milne Aa Jaun.
A Sad Girl Was Sitting With Her Boyfriend..
Boy: U Are The Second Most Beautiful Girl I Have Ever Seen
Girl: Whos The First,
Boy: Its You When You Smile.
Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai,
Wife: Woh Kya
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho Ki Saza Jeete Jee Hi Mil Gayi.
Santa: Kaam Wali Shanti Ko Bulao.
Wife: Kyun,
Santa: Doctor Ne Kaha Hai,
Raat Mein Dawa Khane Ke Baad Shanti Ke Saath So Jaana.
Girl : Tum Aaj Bhi Keypad Wala Phone Kyu Chalate Ho,
Boy : Mujhe Dabane Me Maja Aata Hai,
Touch Krne Me Koi Maja Nahi Hai.
Apne Aap Ko Toh Hum Samjha Lenge,
Magar Dil Mera Yeh Manta Hi Nahi,
Humne Toh Dekhi Hai Bewafayi Aapki,
Aap Bewafa Ho Dil Jaanta Hi Nahi
Teacher in Exam : Udas Kyun Ho,
Kya Pen, Pencil, Roll no. Bhul Gye.
Student: Dimag Khrab Mat Kr
Yha Main Galat Subject Padhke Aa Gya,
Tuje Pen Pencil Ki Padi Hai.
Raat Ko Padhte Padhte. Ek Khayal Aaya
Pen Uthaya Aur Paper, Aur Ek Nayi Equation Banayi
Bed + Rajai = Bhaad Mein Jaye Padhai,
College Ke First Day,
Ladka: Tumhara Naam Kya Hai?
Ladki: Mujhe Sab Didi Kehte Hai.
Ladka: Wow Mujhe Sab Jija Ji kehte Hai.
Dr.: Apke Pati Ko Bhut Kamjori Hai, Rozana Doodh Dijiye.
Lady: Roz Deti hun Dr.Saab, Lekin Ye Dabate Jyada Hain Or Peete
Kam Hai
Munna: Abay Circuit Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.
Teacher: Student Ko Thappad Mara
Student: Ye Tune Mazak Me Maara Ya Seriously
Teacher: Seriously
Student: Fir Thik Hai,Muze Mazak Bilkul Pasand Nahi
Wife : Mujhe Ghabrahat Ho Rahi Hai.
Husband : I Think Because This Is Your First Night.
Wife : No, No Actually It Is First Time In Night
Ja Rahe Hum Marne Aj Man Udas Hai
Yaad Nai Kiya Usne Jiski Muje Aas Hai Muje
Bhul Gye Wo Jo Sabse Khas Hai .
Chalo Ab Msg Kro Upar Likha Sab Bakwaas Hai.
Teacher: Agar Koi Collage Me Bomb Rakhta Hai To Tum Kaya Karoge
Student: Mam 1, 2 Ghante Dekhnge Agar Koi Le Gaya Toh Theek Hai
Nai Toh Staff Room Main Rakh Denge.
Rajnikant: Arey O Murgi Mene Tuje 2 Ande Dene Ke Liye Kaha Tha,
Tune 1 Anda Kyu Diya Kya Tujhe Muj Se Darr Nahi Lagta?
Murgi: Darr Lagta Hai Iss Liye Ek Anda Diya varna me to MURGA HOON.
I wish that the New Year turns out to be a very special,
One for you filling each day with peak of health,
Abundance of happiness and sunshine,
Bountiful luxury and prosperity and Zen like serenity.
Aaj Ki Young Generation Ki Sex Ke Prati,
Uttsukta Ko Dekh Kar Baba WHATSAPP Ji Ne Kaha Hai.
Jawani Mein Ladke Aur Ladkiyo Ki Halat Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai.
Raat Ko Jab Neend Nahi Aati To Ladko Ke Hath Mein Lulli,
Aur Ladkiyo Ke Hath Mein Mulli Hoti Hai.
Sir: Kaunsa Panchi sabse Tez udta hai?
Papu: Hathi
Sir: Nalayak, Tera Baap kya karta hai..?
Papu: Chota Rajan ke Gang me shooter hai.
Sir: Shabashhhh Hathi sahi jawab hai.
Salesman: Sir cockroach ke liye powder loge kya?
Santa: Nahi Nahi hum cockroach ko itna laad pyar nahi karte.
Aaj powder denge to kal DEO mangega.
Pyar karo to hamesha muskura ke,
Kisi ko dhokha na do apna bana ke,
Kar lo yaad jab tak hum zinda hain,
Phir na kehna ke chale gaye dil mein yaadein basa ke.
Ek Din Ek Nokrani Ko Ghar Ki Safaai Karte Waqt Condom Mila,
Toh Vo Condom Maalkin Ko Dikhate Hue Boli.
Ye Kya Hai Bibi Ji?
Maalkin: Kyun Tere Gaon Mein Log Sex Nahi Karte Hai Kya?
Bai: Karte To Hai Par Itne Zor Zor Se Bhi Nahi Karte Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye.
Think you are getting a nutritional boost from your morning cereal?
Up to 40 percent of the vitamins in fortified cereals dissolve in the milk.
If you do not drink the leftover cow juice, you are not getting the fancy pants nutrients.
TITANIC bahut zabardast film thi,
Par ek raaz jo sab ko nahi pata.
Wo ye hai ki.
Titanic ki puri shooting
Rajnikanth ke BATH TAB mein hui thi.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja.