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Liza's Joke
Dad & Son

Sep,7 2015
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Chintu Pintu

Sep,4 2015
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Masum Santa

Santa Ne Chalenge Kiya Ki Wo Kutubminar Ko Sar Pe Rakh Kar Mumbai Le Jayega.
Saare News, Media And Channels Wale Waha Pahunch Gaye.
Aur Bole Ki Chal Rakh Ke Leke Ja.
Santa Masumiyat Se Bola: Bas Koi Utha Ke Sar Pe Rakh De, Fir Le Jaunga.

Aug,28 2015
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Wife Ka Soot

Aug,28 2015
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Wife With Onian

Aug,28 2015
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Diamond Ring

Wife: I saw in my dream,
That u were buying a diamond ring 4 me.
Husband: I saw your dad paying da bill.

Aug,27 2015
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Pyar Ki Line

——————
Zarori Nahi K Har
SMS Mein Koi Message Ho,
BUS, AAP Yaad Aa Rahy Thy,
Es Liye Aap Ko Line,
Maar Di.

Aug,27 2015
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Chori Ka Khyaal

Husband: Jo Aadmi Chori Karta Hai Wo Baad Me Zaroor Pachtata Hai.
Wife Said In Romantic Mood: Aur Tumne Shadi Se Pehle Jo Meri Nindein Churayi Thi Unke Bare Mein Kya Khyaal Hai?
Husband: Keh To Raha Hun, Jo Chori Karta Hai Wo Baad Mein Pachtata Zaroor Hai.

Aug,24 2015
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लबो से इज़हार

मैं कुछ लम्हे और उसके साथ चाहती हूँ,
आँखों में थम जाऐ वो बरसात चाहती हूँ,
सुना हैं मुझे बहुत चाहता है वो मगर,
मैं उसके लबो से एक बार इज़हार चाहती.

Aug,21 2015
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GOD Exclaims

Did U ever wonder.
Wat does GOD exclaim when he is shocked.
Oh my Rajnikaant.

Aug,20 2015
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Pant Utaar Kar

Ladka: Dada Ji Aap Itni Thand Mein Apni Pant Utaar Kar Kyu Bethe Ho?
Dada: Kal Main Yaha Apni Kameej Utar Kar Betha Tha,
To Thand Se Meri Gardan Akad Gayi Thi Aj Teri Dadi Ne Kaha Hai Ki Pant Utar Kar Bethna.

Aug,20 2015
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College Time Mein

Pati: Janu Tum Pareshan Si Kyu Lag Rahi Ho?
Biwi Darte Hue Boli: Ji, Main Pregnant Hun,
Pati Khush Hote Hue: Ye To Khsuhi Ki Baat Hai,
Wife Hairani Se: Achha, Par Yahi Bat Mene College Time Mein Dad Ko Batayi Thi To Mujhe Bahut Mar Padi Thi.

Aug,20 2015
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A Better Day

Boss: Where's your File?
Men: At home.
Boss: What's it doing there?
Men: Having a better day than I am.

Aug,19 2015
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Pimples To Erupt

Keep Away From Besan or MultaniMitti.
Using Besan and multanimitti can sometimes clog pores.
This can further cause more pimples to erupt.
Stay away from both totally.

Aug,19 2015
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Modi Ka Suit

Modi Ka Suit Kharidne Wala Apne Aap Ko Thaga Mehsoos Kar Raha Hai,
Kyunki Kejriwal Ne Kaha Tha,
Iske Ek Pocket Mein Adani Hai, Ek Mein Ambani.. Par Use Koi Mila Nahin!

 

Aug,18 2015
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Awesome Mausam

Mom: Dekhna bahar baarish ho Rahi hai kya?
Me: Checks facebook,
Everybody updated,
Awesome mausam raining,
Haan maa ,
Bht baarish ho rahi hai.

Aug,13 2015
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Lamhe Rulate HaI

Tu MerI DostI Par Ek Ehsaan Kar,
Apne Sare Gum Tu Mere Naam Kar,
Jo Lamhe Rulate HaI TuJhe Yaad Ban Kar,
Wo Aansu MerI NaZro K Naam Kar.

Aug,13 2015
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Yaar Ki Dukan

Santa Ne Apne Dost Banta Se Puchha.
Santa: Arey Vo Tera Chota Bhai Aajkal Kya Kar Raha Hai?
Banta: Kuch Din Pehle Ek Dukan Kholi Thi, Par Ab Jail Mein Hai.
Santa Hairani Se: Wo Kyun?
Banta: Yaar, Dukan Hathode Se Kholi Thi.

Aug,12 2015
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सालों की बात

पुलिस दरवाजा खटखटा रहा हैं?
पुलिस : हम पुलिस हैं,दरवाजा खोलो!
संता : क्यूँ खोलू ?
पुलिस: कुछ बात करनी हैं |
संता: तुम लोग कितने हो |
पुलिस: हम ३ हैं |
संता: तो सालों आपस में बात कर लो,
मेरे पास टाइम नहीं है ।

Aug,12 2015
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Mujhrimo Ko Akal

Tumhare pyar me hume nind nahi aati
Tumhare pyar me hume nind nahi aati.
Daya do thappad na laga de tab tak mujhrimo ko akal nahi aati.

Aug,10 2015
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As A Strong

As a strong man you might be in possession of everything.
Still, when it comes about experience the old folks have plenty.
As a wise man you must benefit from that.
The stories of their life are a clear indication about what to do and what not

Aug,6 2015
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Your Money

Q. What is the quickest way to double your money ?
Ans: Fold it in half.

Aug,5 2015
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Rise Together

I wish we could cuddle all night long
And fall asleep after watching the sun rise together. I love you.

Aug,5 2015
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किस कर दिया

एक लड़की ने एक क्यूट-से बच्चे को देखकर उसके गाल पर किस कर दिया।
लड़की - ओह, सॉरी बेबी...! आपके गाल पर तो लिपस्टिक लग गई।
बच्चा - इट्स ओके बेबी! कुछ अच्छा करने से अगर दाग लगते हैं, तो दाग अच्छे हैं।

Aug,4 2015
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Ladki ke Bhaiya

Ladki ke Bhaiya Se Gehri Dosti Kar Lo. Aur Uske Ghar Aana Jaana Shuru Kar Do.
Ek Baar Ladki ka Bhai Tumhare Kaabu Mein Aa Gaya To Baad Mein Ladki Bhi Aaa Jaayegi.
Lekin Dhyan Rahe Unke Gharpe Ldki ko Zyaada Bhav Mat Dena.

Aug,4 2015
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Jeet Apki Hai

Her sapne ko apni saaanso main rakho
Her manzil ko apni baahon main rakho
Her jeet aapki hai
Bas apne lakshya ko apni nigahon me rakho.Good Day

Aug,1 2015
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Aasma Se Uchi Dosti

Bhule nahi Aapko ye kaise yakin dilaye.
Aapki dosti ki ahmiyat kya hai.
Ye kaise samjhaye.
Aasma se uchi hai Dosti Aapni
Is chote se msg me kaise bataye.

Aug,1 2015
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Bachho Ka Pyar

Dhritrastra Ne Gandhari Ko Ek Din Bade Pyar Se Bola.
Dhritrastra: Hey Gandhari, Tum Dhanya Ho Tumne Mujhe 100 Bachho Ka Pyar Diya.
Gandhari: Nath, Aap Agar Andhe Na Hote To Ye Kabhi Sambhav Na Tha.

Aug,1 2015
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Husband Is Safe

A Pregnant Woman Goes To A Swamiji, After Seeing The Lady’s Hand,
Swamy Says: When The Baby Will Be Delivered, His Father Will Die.
Woman: Thank God, My Husband Is Safe.

Jul,29 2015
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Dosti Ka Khumar

Na intzaar hai na ikraar hai,
Na aapse milne ko ab mera dil be-kraar hai,
Phir bhi dil se na jaane kyon yeh aawaz aati hai,
Wo tumhi ho jinki aankon aur baaton mei,
Ek sachchi dosti ka khumar hai.

Jul,29 2015
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लड़कियो के स्टेटस

पिक्चर हिट हुयी नहीं की लड़कियो के
स्टेटस देखो
My Dad Is My Real BAHUBALI
जैसे हमारा बाप तो कटप्पा है ।

Jul,29 2015
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Ullu Banana

I miss u rozana,
After breakfast & khana,
Ab tum zyada mat itrana,
Hum ko acha lagta hai,
Aap ko ullu banana.


Jul,27 2015
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Dard Bhi

Wife: Dr. mere pati ke lun pe madhumukhi ne kata hai
Dr: oh soojh gaya . Dard bhi hai kaya?
Wife: Ji han, lekin sirf dard ki dava do, soojan rahne do.

Jul,27 2015
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Candle With Hair

Ek Din Ek Sardar Ne Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Jiski T-Shirt Par Likha Thha,
Handle With Care.
Agle Din Usne Apni Jeans Ke Aage Likhva Liya,
Candle With Hair.

Jul,27 2015
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Dead Sea

The movie: 300 was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth.
It was originally named: 1.
Want one more.
Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

Jul,24 2015
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The Right Way

Get your girlfriend's number. One of the first things you should do when you get a girlfriend,is to get her number. If you can, call her a couple of days after you get it. Calling right away can make you seem desperate.

Jul,23 2015
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Ladki Ko Impress

Jis ladki ko aap patana chahte ho,
Usse jab bhi milo to uski family ki khariyat,
Haal chaal zaroor pucho isse bhi ladkiyan bahut impress hoti hain.

Jul,23 2015
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रोज़ी पे बैठी हूँ

एक आदमी ने नरगिस को गोद में बिठा के पूछा: - तुम एकरात में कितना कमा लेती हो?
नरगिस:- Rs..50,000
आदमी:- सच बता?
नरगिस:- रोज़ी पे बैठी हूँ झूठ थोड़ी बोलूँगी

Jul,22 2015
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Lete Lete Hi

1 Shrabi road par pada galliya de raha tha,
Maa chod duga, Bhen chod dunga.
1 Aadmi bola: Uth ja khada ho ja.
Sharabi: Nahi Lete Lete hi chodunga.

Jul,22 2015
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Tu Bewafa

Maine teri yaad me,ro ro kar balti bhar di,
Maine teri yaad me,ro ro kar balti bhar di.
Tu itna bewafa nikla ke,
Usme nahakar chal diya.

Jul,22 2015
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Sundar Paribhasa

Patni Ji Ki Sundar Paribhasa
Jo Mahila Apne Pati se
50000 Rs. Lekar 60000
ka Hisab Btane ke bad
20000 Apne pas bachale
Use hi patni kahte hai.

Jul,21 2015
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Kya Majburi Hai

1 Gay Nawab Nahate waqt Sheeshay mein AAGE or PICHHE Dekhte Hue,
Sher bola: Kya Qayamat hai Kya Majburi hai, Paas Reh k Bi kitni doori hai.

Jul,20 2015
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Tod Diya

Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya..
Gor Frmaiye..
Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya...
Acp Tha Toilet Me Or
Daya Ne Darwaja Tod Diya.

Jul,20 2015
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Dhayan Raken

kabhi b uska peecha na kre!!!
kabhi bhi purpose kisi 3rd person se na kraye..
purpose shi waqt aur mauka dekhker kre....
hmesha ye dhyan rekhe ki uski ijjat aapki ijjat h...
hmesha uski aankho me dekhker baat kre..

Jul,20 2015
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I Miss You

When I miss you
just close my eyes
and I am with you.

Jul,20 2015
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Dekhna Na Bhule

Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
Wah wah.
Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
CID ke baad dekhna na bhule aahat.

Jul,20 2015
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Uski Yaado Me

Ho sake toh us ladki se hamesha milte rahe, kisi na kisi bahane se isse ap uski yaado me rahoge.

Jul,20 2015
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Ras Wali Mashin

Santa: S*x Karte Hue Apni Wife Se,
Aur Tight Ah, Aur Tight Kar.
Gulabo: Kamine Itna Tight Hona Hai To,
Bahar Jake Ganne Ke Ras Wali Mashin Mein Dal Le.

Jul,20 2015
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Kismat Me Mauka

Biwi: Mera maanna hai shadi ek lotery hai.
Pati: Mai nahi maanta.
Biwi: Kyun?
Pati: Lotery me dobaara kismat azmaane ka mauka jo milta hai.

Jul,20 2015
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Aurat Bhi Le Lo

Jagjit Singh singing: Yeh daulat bhi le lo,
Yeh shohrat bhi le lo.
Suddenly Santa stands up & says: Main toh bahut pareshan hun,
Meri toh aurat bhi le lo.

Jul,17 2015
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