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Abhishek's Joke
Sitaare

Raat ke pehlu me chand sittare chaye he.
Wah wah.
Raat ke pehlu me chand sittare chaye he.
Madam Darwaja kholiye hum CID sse aaye he. 

Oct,12 2015
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Ladkiyaan

Kapil: Arz kia hai Fruit Kharaab Nahi Hote,
Makhhiya Kharaab Karti hai.
Or Ladke Kharaab Nahi Hote Ladkiyaan Kharaab Karti Hai.

Oct,9 2015
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Gyaan Ki Baat

Baba Saxidas Ki Ek Gyaan Ki Baat Un Ladkon Ke Liye Jinka Lund Chhota Hai.
Hamesha Chote Hathon Wali Ladki Se Sex Karo, Kyunki Uske Hath Mein Tumhara Lund Bada Lagega.

Oct,9 2015
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Birla Cement

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Oct,8 2015
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Lambhi Surang

Ek Bar Ek Newly Married Couple Honeymoon Ke Liye Train Mein Safar Kar Rahe Thhe.
Bich Mein Ek Lambhi Andheri Surang Aayi.
Kuch Der Baad Pati Ne Patni Se Kaha: Agar Mujhko Pehle Pata Hota Ki Surang Itni Lambi Hogi To Main Tujhse Chumma Chaati Kar Leta.
Patni Hairan Hokar Boli: Hai Ram To Fir Vo Kaun Thha?

Oct,6 2015
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Naseeb

Pyar ki aanch se to patthar bhi pighal jata hain,
Sache dil se sath de to naseeb b badal jata hai,
Pyar ki raahon par mil jaye sachcha hamsafar,
To kitna bhi gira hua insan bhi sambhal jata hai.

Oct,3 2015
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Murder

Bhigoge agar barish mein to jhukam or khansi hi hogi.
Bhigoge agar barish mein to jhukam or khansi hi hogi.
ACP says: 2 2 murder kiye hain tumhe to fansi hi hogi.

Oct,3 2015
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Paraya Dhan

Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?
Nahi pata kya?
Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.

Sep,29 2015
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खिडकी

खिडकी से देखा तो रस्ते पे कोई नही था.
खिडकी से देखा तो रस्ते पे कोई नही था.
वाह वाह,
फिर रस्ते पे जाके देखा तो खिडकी मै कोई नही था.

Sep,29 2015
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Ladkiyaan in Facebook

Sep,28 2015
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Gorillas

Gorillas sleep as much as fourteen hours per day.

Sep,28 2015
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Confusion

Thoda Confusion Hai, Par Baat Hai Lakh Rupaye Ki.
Daaman Kiska Thaama Jaye?
Jo Khushi De.
Ya Phir,
Jo Khushi Khushi De?

Sep,28 2015
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Party

Ek Dost Dusre Dost Se: Aaj Raat Mein Apne Ghar Mein Sex Party Rakh Raha Hun, Tum Aaoge?
Dusra (Khush Hote Hue): Haan Haan, Kon Kon Aa Raha Hai?
Pehla: Bas Teen Log, Main Tum Aur Tumhari Biwi.

Sep,28 2015
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Manoranjan

Itne saalo se CID ne darshako ka kiya hai sabka manoranjan,
Itne saalo se CID ne darshako ka kiya hai sabka manoranjan,
Daaath ghaso Daya, lo ye Dabur laal Dant manjan.

Sep,24 2015
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Shikaayat

Santa apne dost Banta se apni biwi kee shikaayat kar rahaa tha: Kal raat meri Wife neend mein jor jor se haath paanv patak rahi thee,
Aur badbadaa rahee thee NO Rahul NO, NO Plssss NO.
Banta. Toh isme gussa hone waali konsi baat hai, After all she said NO.

Sep,18 2015
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Chatni

Chacha ne chachi ko Chandni Chonk me chandi ke chamach se chatni chatai.

Sep,14 2015
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Tridents

Two tried and true tridents. (x3)

Sep,14 2015
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Thick Bricks

Thin sticks, thick bricks. (x3)

Sep,14 2015
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Mushkan

Mere chehare ki hansi ho tum,
Mere Dil ki har khushi ho tum,
Mere hontho ki mushkan ho tum,
Dhadakta hai mera ye Dil jishke liye.
Woh Meri Jaan ho tum.

Sep,11 2015
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The Best Interest

An Investment In Knowledge Always Pays The Best Interest.
Anger Is Never Without Reason, But Seldom With A Good One.
All Would Live Long, But None Would Be Old.
Early To Bed And Early To Rise Makes A Man Healthy Wealthy And Wise.

Sep,9 2015
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Lalu Ki Akal

Warning: Agar aap mujhe bhule to upar wala aapko,
Lalu ki akal,
Mayawati ki shakl,
Mulayam ki jawani,
Kalaam ke baal aur
Atal ki chal de.
Ab bhula k dekho.

Sep,4 2015
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The Emotions

Keep your eyes closed. Kissing with your eyes open is just weird. It distracts from the emotions of the moment and if she notices you with your eyes open she will think that you are not enjoying it.

Sep,4 2015
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Dil Ki Hasraten

Dil mein hasrato ko daba ke jete hai,
Apne gamo ko duniya se chupa ke jete hai,
Kya lotega jamana khusiyo ko humare,
Hum khusiya to apne pyar pe luta ke jete hai.

Sep,4 2015
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Success

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

Aug,31 2015
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Bollywood Emails

MallikaSherawat: I_dont_need_to_act@overexposureworks.com
AmishaPatel: Kaho_na_pyaar_hai@wasmyonlyhit.com
KareenaKapoor: oh_iam_so_cute_and_talented@nobodyelsethinksso.com
Raveena Tandon: waiting_for_third_umpire@stumped.com

Aug,28 2015
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Gora Chahra

Janaab Gour Farmaiyega Ustaad Chodumal Khan Sahaab Ke Is Sher Par.
Agar Sabun Ke Ragad Ne Se Hota Muh Gora,
To Aaj Aapse Jyada Gora Hota Aap Ka Loda.

Aug,24 2015
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Chahte Hai Tumko

Apko Pane Ki Khwais Jine Se Jyda,
Apko Khone Ka Darr Marne Se Jyda,
Apse Bichdne Ka Dard Har Dard Se Jyda,
Qki,
Hum Apko Chahte Hai Khud Se Jayda.

Aug,22 2015
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Vast Knowledge

Flatter her with your vast knowledge of the English language.
Show her that you are familiar with such literary greats as Shakespeare and Chekhov, and not just Marvel comics.

Aug,20 2015
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Bhains Ka Doodh

Santa: Yaar Tum Do Din Se Doodh Dene Kyun Nahi Aa Rahe Thhe?
Doodhwala: Sardar Ji, Aap Ki Bhabhi Ki Tabiyat Kharab Thhi, Isliye Nahi Aa Paya.
Santa Soche Ke Bola: To Koi Baat Nahi Bhains Ka Doodh Hi Le Aate.

Aug,20 2015
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Meri Dhadkan

Tera Intezaar Mujhe Har Pal Rehta Hai,
Har Lamha Mujhe Tera Ehsaas Rehta Hai,
Tujh Bin Dhadkane Rukk Si Jaati Hai,
Ki Tu Mere Dil Me Meri Dhadkan Banke Rehta Hai.

Aug,19 2015
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Muskurane Ke Baad

Rona padta h 1 Din Muskurane Ke Bad,
Yad Aate H wo Dur Jane ke Bad,
Dil To Dukhta H Hi Uske Liye.
Jo Apna Na Ho Ske Itni Mohbat Jatane Ke Baad

Aug,18 2015
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England At Chennai.

On 12th January 1964, Indian spinner Bapu Nadkarni bowled
21 consecutive maiden overs vs England at Chennai.

Aug,18 2015
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Charming Baniye

Charming banne ke liye aapme confidence hona chahiya aur aapka personality bhi strong honi chahiye.

Aug,18 2015
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Kamine Friend

Some Friends Were Sitting Together Somewhere After College Suddenly,
A Boy In Sad Voice: Ek Baat To Pakki Hai Yaar, Agar Wo Meri Nahi Hui To Main Use Kisi Or Ki Bhi Nahi Hone Dunga.
Kamina Friend: Aur Bhai Agar Wo Teri Ho Gayi To Sabki Hone Dega Na.

Aug,18 2015
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Ishq Ki Raah

Aug,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ulfat Ka Izhaar

Wo hanskar mile hm pyar samjh baithe,
Bekar hi ulfat ka izhaar samjh baithe,
Itni achhi to na thi kismat meri,
Q khud ko uski mohabbat ka haqdaar samjh baithe.

Aug,13 2015
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Pregnent Hoti

1st Girl To Another:
Kal Sapne Main Mujhe Koi Chaqoo Maar Raha Tha.
2nd Girl:
Tu daar Mat,
Agar sapnay sach hotay To main rozana PREGNENT hoti.

Aug,11 2015
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Silki Baal

Kya aapne kabhi munh me liya hy?
Wo mota sa,
Aas paas baal,
Naram naram,
Uper se cover.
Never?
Jhoot bolte ho?
Kabhi butta nahi khaya?

Aug,10 2015
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रिवॉलवर की गोलियाँ

एक बूड़े आदमी के लंड में कुछ समस्या हो गई तो वह डॉक्टर के पास गया.
डॉक्टर बूड़े आदमी से: बाबूजी, आपकी नीचे की दोनो गोलियाँ निकालनी पड़ेंगी.?
बूड़ा: निकाल दो बेटा, जब रिवॉलवर ही नहीं चल रहा, तो गोलियाँ किस काम की.

Aug,10 2015
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Haathi Aur Cheeti

Aug,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Your Self

Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world...if you do so, you are insulting yourself
The vision is really about empowering workers giving them all the information about
what’s going on so they can do a lot more than they’ve done in the past
The world won't care about your self-esteem.

Aug,6 2015
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Sweet Voice

True Example Of Self Protection With Heavy Flirt.
Teacher To Pappu: Why Are You Sleeping In The Class?
Pappu: Your Voice Is So Sweet That’s Why, I Am Getting Sleep.
Teacher: Then, Why Other Students Are Not Sleeping?
Pappu: They Aren’t Listening To You, Mam.

Aug,6 2015
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constantly Dreaming

Aug,5 2015
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बोरिंग खोदेगा

बाबा SEX की गोली बेच रहा था-
1 गोली लेगा 1फीट लंबा, 2 गोली लेगा 2फीट लंबा,
रामू- बाबा 10 गोली लूँगा तो...?
बाबा- मादरचोद, लड़की चोदेगा या बोरिंग खोदेगा....

Aug,4 2015
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Khan Ji Ka Baap

Acp: Sadak Pe Accident Hua Pada Thha,
Khan Ji Ko Dekhne Ka Moka Nahi Mil Raha Tha,
To Khan Bola: Jiska Accident Hua Vo Mera Baap Hai,
Jagha Bani To Khan Ne Dekha Ki,
Ek Gadha Mara Pada Tha.

Aug,3 2015
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Peace In Rain

I find peace inn the rain.

Aug,1 2015
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SORRY For Hurting

Bahut aasan hai kisi ko hurt karna aur,
Kehna: SORRY.
But
Bahut muskil hota hai khud hurt hoke kehna,
I AM FINE.

Aug,1 2015
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Dada Diwana

Tajmahal Ko Dekh Kar Bola,
Sahjahan Ka Pota.
Aj Mera Vi Bank Balance Hota,
Agar Dada Diwana Na Hota.

Aug,1 2015
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Hmari Zindgi

Bhulenge Wo Log Bhulna Jinka Kam he,
Hmari to Dosto K Bina Gujrti nhi Sham he,
Kaise Bhul Skte h Hm Un Dosto Ko,
Jo Hmari Zindgi Ka Dusra Naam he.

Jul,31 2015
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Setting Kar Le

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se.
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.

Jul,27 2015
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