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Abhishek's Joke
Khali Botal Hi De Do

Dec,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wife Sex Kar Rahe

Husband Aur Wife Sex Kar Rahe The Achank Aa Gai
Husband: Bc Light Aa Aayi, Pehle Main
Apna Phone Charge Kar Leta Hun,
Wife: Haan Main Bhi pehle Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Leti Hun
Yee Kaam To Hum Bina Light Ke Bi Kar Sakte Hai.
.

Dec,24 2015
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Boobs Chuste Hue

Suhagrat Pe Pati Apni Patni Ke Boobs Chuste Hue Bola
Pati: Jaanu Tumhare Boobs Kitne Naram Aur Sharbati Hai
Patni Sharmate Hue Boli: Pata Nahi Ji Jitne Muh Utni Hi Baatein.

Dec,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nahane Ki Iccha

Dec,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Paise Bachane Ka Tareeka

Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!

Dec,14 2015
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सिगरेट ले आते

दोस्त से मिलने अस्पताल गया तो
वो बोला.
दर्द दिलो के कम हो जाते अगर.
सेब के बदले सिगरेट ले आते.

Dec,11 2015
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बॉयफ्रेंड है या नहीं

लड़की: बाबा, मेरे मोबाइल में बैलेंस नहीं रहता. क्या करूं,
निर्बल बाबा: बॉयफ्रेंड है या नहीं,
लड़की: नहीं.
निर्बल बाबा: बस इसीलिए कृपा रुकी है. बॉयफ्रेंड बना लो कृपा शुरू हो जाएगी.

Dec,8 2015
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Rajni Babu

Deepika : Ek Chutki Sindoor Ki Kimat Tumkya Jano Rajni Babu.
Rajnikant : Rs 0.012645787 Pise  Yennaarascala Mind it

Dec,7 2015
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कुतिया का मन

लड़की: ये कुत्ते कैसी पता करते है की कुतिया का मन सेक्स करने को हो रहा है
लड़का: पगली सूंघ कर
लड़की: तो तुझे क्या जुखाम हुआ है

Dec,5 2015
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आयटम ने कहा

बर्बाद तो हम उसी दिन हो गऐ थे,
जिस दिन आयटम ने कहा था,
चूदने से डर नही लगता साहब,
मुंह मे लेने मे तकलीफ होती है

Dec,4 2015
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Saaf Chahiye

Ek Bachha KAAMWALI se bola: Tum PAPA ka nunnu apne MUH me le ke Kya kar rahi thi?
KAAMWALI: Beta Teri maa ko har cheej saaf chahiye.

Dec,3 2015
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Kareeb Paoge

Door rah kar kareeb rehne ki aadat hai,
Yaad bankar aankhon se bahne ki aadat hai,
Kareeb na hote hue bhi kareeb paoge,
Mujhe ehsas bankar rahne ki aadat hai.

Dec,3 2015
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Teri Lotery

Mam: Agar me teri maa ban jauto tuje 2 din me sudhar du.
Golu: Madam me abhi jake apne bapu ko btata hu ki,
Bapu teri lotery lgne wali hai.

Dec,3 2015
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Tanha Hi Jina

Guzri hai kal woh raat ajeeb si,
Karte rahe woh humse chaahat ajeeb si,
Ab saari zindagi tanha hi jina hoga,
Bichadte waqt woh kar gayi baat ajib si.

Dec,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Par Aise Kaise

Doctor Marij Ki Gaand Mein Ungli Karke Betha Tha.
Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Us Se Raha Nahi Gaya,
Aur Usne Akhir Doctor Se Puch Hi Liya.
Aadmi: Dr Saab, Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Doctor: Mareej Ko Ulti Kara Raha Hu.
Aadmi Ne Hairan Hoke Pucha: Par Aise Kaise?
Doctor: Dekhta Ja, Abhi Ye Ungli Iske Muh Mein Dalunga Na, To Karega Na.

Dec,2 2015
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Jhuk Kar Salam

Agar Aapko 18 Saal ki Larki Jhuk Kar Salam Kare,
To Aapko Uski Kya Cheez Nazar Aayegi?
Uske acche sanskaar,
Bhai Hath Jodta Hoon Kabhi To Sahi Socha Karo.

Dec,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
KAMAAL KA SAWAAL

Teacher: Bataao Khet Me Tatti Karte Waqt Pehle Susu Kyu Aata Hai?
Student: Taaki Paad Maarte Waqt Mitti Na Uddey.

Nov,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Achi Quality Ka

SANTA: Lalaji dettol soap hai.
Lala: Ha.
santa: Acha vala hai.
Lala: Ha.
Santa: Achi quality ka hai.
Lala: Ha bhai ha.
Santa: Thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do.

Nov,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Silencer

Boy to Girl: Tum Ladkiyan jab Susu karti
To usme sssssssshh ki Aawaz kyun aati hai.
Girl Said: kyun ki hamare aage,
6 inch ka Silencer nahi Laga hota.

Nov,20 2015
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Pocket Money

Baniya: lagta hai hamari beti ka kisi ladke ke,
Sath pyar ka chakkar chal raha hai.
Biwi: kaise pata?
Baniya: Aaj kal pocket money nahi mangti hai.
Biwi: He bhagwan iska matlab ladka baniya bhi nahi hai.

Nov,20 2015
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Koi Gham Nahi

Agar Ham khud ko bhool jaye toh koi gam nahi,
Agar aapko bhool jaye toh woh Ham nahi,
Chaahte hai Ham dosto ko jaan se bhi zyada,
Unke liye apni jaan bhi chali jaye toh koi gham nahi.

Nov,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shauk Pure Kare

Jab Bhi Aap Unse Mile To Unko Uske Pasand Ki Chocolate Jarur De.
Ladkiyon Ke Shauk Pure Karne Se Unko Patane Me Aasani Hoti Hai.

Nov,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mehbuba Ki Zulfen

Baith kar apni mehbuba ki zulfo k saye me aisa josh aaya,
wah wah,
Phir.
phir.
Usk Papa ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya.

Nov,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tumhari Pant

1 Girl ask 2 Pappu: Woh kya hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hai?
Pappu: Legs
Girl: Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
Pappu: Pocket.

Nov,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pyar Ki Barsaat

1 Ko girlfriend Naraz Thi,
2 Ko shadi ke liye tayar Thi,
3 Ko Yaaro Baarat Thi,
4 Ko Mast Suhagraat Thi
5 Ko Pyar Ki Barsaat Thi.
Aankh khuli to pata chala sapno ki kali raat Thi.

Nov,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Size Kya Hai

Mulla ji bra lene shop par gaye.
Mulla ji: Ek bra de do.
Shopkeepar: Kis size ki du?
Mulla ji: Size to pata nahi,
Par biwi ki purani bra me se meri do topi ban gayi hai.

Nov,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Muje Bhi Pta Lo

Girlfriend ko apni palko par bitha lo,
De ke khushi uske sare gum chura lo,
Pyar karo uski saheli ke samne itna ki
Uski saheli bhi aa ke kahe JANU,
Muje bhi pata lo. Muje bhi pata lo.

Nov,4 2015
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Eat Different Foods

You need over 40 different nutrients every day for good health.
Since there is no single food that contains them all, it is important to balance your daily choices.
In fact there are no good or bad foods, so you do not need to miss out on the foods you enjoy.
The best way to make sure you get the right balance is to eat a wide variety of foods each day.

Nov,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Awake

 

 In mornings, eating an apple will keep you awake better then drinking coffee.

 

 

 

Nov,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
नाराज़ मत होना

लडकी अपने बॉयफ्रेंड से: चलो आज एक दूसरे से गाली दे कर बात करते हैं।
लडका: नही तुम नाराज हो जाओगी।
लडकी: चल कुत्ते
लडका: चल कुत्ती
लडकी: चल कमीने
लडका: चल कमीनी
लडकी: चल चुतिये, हरामजादे
लडका: चल रंडी, मादरचोद, तेरी माँ का भोसडा, बहन की लौड़ी,
साली आजा तेरी गांड मारता हूँ बहनचोद,मादर चोद की बच्ची।
लडकी रोते हुए: आज से हमारा रिशता खत्म।
लडका: अरे जानू सुनो तो. मैंने कहा था तुम नाराज़ हो जाओगी।

Nov,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Extra Kameena Bacha!

Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?
Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?
Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 5 month ka fark hai

Oct,31 2015
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Saare Brahmand Me

Ladki k chakkar me suicide karne walo,
Saare brahmand ki nazron me,
Aap aashiq nahi AAP CHUTIYE HAIN.

Oct,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kala Dhan

Oct,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jaan Ho Hamari

Aap Khud Nahi Janti Aap Kitni Pyari Ho,
Jaan Ho Hamari Par Jaan Se Pyari Ho,
Duriyon K Hone Se Koi Fark Nahi Padta,
Aap Kl Bhi Hamari Thi Or Aaj Bhi Hamari Ho.

Oct,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love U 2

Banta: Santa, Tere Ko Kisi Se Pyar Hua Hai?
Santa: Haan Yaar, Par Wo Maanti Hi Nahi.
Banta: Kya Kehti Hai?
Santa: Kehti Hai I Love you 2.
Pata Nahi Sala Yeh Doosra Kaun Hai.

Oct,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
SUNNY LEONE

Sunny Leone: Doctor, aajkal bahut thakan mehsus hoti hai?
Lagta hai khoon kam ho gaya hai.
Doctor: Periods ke waqt kitna loss hota hai.
Sunny Leone sochte hue: Yehi Koi 30-40 lakh Ka.

Oct,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Usme Namak Hai

Kapil wife : Ghar mein namak khatam ho gaya hai,

Khaane mein kya banau ?

Kapil : Thoda toothpaste daal do, usme namak hai !

Oct,27 2015
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Shadi Ho Sakti

Ek Aadmi Marriage Bureau Me Phone Karke Bolta Hai
Mere Dono Haath Aur Dono Pair Nahi Hai. Kya Meri Shadi Ho Sakti Hai?
Lady Operater: Ha Ho Sakti Hai. Lekin Aapko Wo To Hai Na?
Man: Haan! Us Se Hi Number Dial Kiya Hai.

Oct,27 2015
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Apni Hi Hai

Ek Baar Santa ki Gaand Par Dana Nikal Aaya,

To Woh Sheeshe Mein Dekh ke Cream Laga Raha Tha ki Itne Mein Usda Lund Kada ho Gaya

Santa Bola: "Baith ja Behnchod Apni hi Gaand Hai, Koi Begaani Nahi".

Oct,26 2015
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Pareshan Karti Hai

Ram:Ek sadhu Se Bola Baba Meri Biwi Bahut Pareshan Karti Hai, Koi Upay Batao.
Sadhu: Beta, Upaay Hota To Main Sadhu Kyun Banta?

Oct,26 2015
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Boss & Employe Joke

Oct,26 2015
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IPhone 6

Apple iPhone 6 launched in India at Rs. 56,500.00
Santa ne papa ko kaha papa mujhe iPhone 6 chahiye.
Papa ne kaha : Beta itne me to 1 bike plus 5 months ka petrol aa jayega.
Meine mouka pe chouka mara accha papa toh wahi khrid do.

Oct,21 2015
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Petro Pump

Wife: Mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumne le chalo.
Kapil: Chalo tyaar ho jayo petro pump chalte hai.

Oct,19 2015
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Dosti Ki Khatri

Aik bar karo na plz.
Kisi ko pata nahi chalega.
Plz karo naaa.
Muje acha lage ga,
Aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri,
Kar do na plzz,
Aik pyara sa SMS.

Oct,17 2015
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Zindagi

Phool hun main meri khusboo tum ho,
Dil hun main meri dhadkan tum ho.
Jaan hun main aur meri rooh tum ho,
Jism hun main or meri zindagi tum ho.

Oct,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Santa Ki Patni

Ek Ladies Se Bhari Bus Ka Bada Boori Tarah Se Accident Ho Gaya,
Saari Ladies Mar Gayi,
Sabke Pati Ek Ek Ghanta Roye,
Santa Do Ghante Roya,
Kyun?
Kyunki Uski Wife Se Bus Miss Ho Gayi Thi.

Oct,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Uttejan

Mahilao ke kan ke niche ka bhag bahut hi sensitive hota hai aur uttejan peda karne vala hota hai. Us jagah par kiss karna mahilao ko bahut pasand aata hai.

Oct,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Uttejan

Mahilao ke kan ke niche ka bhag bahut hi sensitive hota hai aur uttejan peda karne vala hota hai. Us jagah par kiss karna mahilao ko bahut pasand aata hai.

Oct,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Special Doggy

My personal favorite is something I call Special Doggy. I am on my stomach, totally flat on a bed with my legs squeezed together. The man enters from behind and thrusts not only in, but up, says Drake.

Oct,13 2015
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Sachhai

Haqiqat Mohabbat Ki Judaai Hoti Hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Pyar Main Bewafai Hoti Hai,
Humari Taraf Haath Badhaa Kar Toh Dekh,
Dosti Main Kitni Sachhai Hoti Hai.

Oct,13 2015
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