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(Latest Funny Hindi Jokes for Kids)
Ek student ne Math ke teacher se kha:
Sir,English ke teacher toh english me baate karte hai.
Aap bhi Math me baat kyu nhi karte?
Math Teacher: Jayda 3 5 na kar jaldi se 9 2 11
ho ja, nhi toh 4 5 rakh dunga toh chhati ka doodh
Yaad aa jayega..!
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Chehre Ki Har Muskaan Ban Jaata Hai Koi,
Dil Ki Har Dhadkan Ban Jata Hai Koi,
Fir Kaise Jiyenge Zindagi Unke Bin,
Jab Zindagi Jine Ki Wajah Ban Jata Hai Koi..
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Nokrani: Madam Ji, Aap Apna Suit Wapis Lelo,
Jab Me Ye Pehenti Hu To Apko Samajh Kar Saheb Dhyan Hi Nhi Dete,
Or Sala Wo Driver Pichhe Se Aa Kar Lipat Jata Hai!!
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Ravaan - Bhiksha De Do,
Aurat - Ye Lo,
Ravan - Hiiee Ha Ha..Main Bhikshuk Nai Ravaan Hoon..
Aurat - Main Bhi Sita Nai Rakhi Sawant Hoon...
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Friends Are Like: Priya Gold Biscuit – Haq Se Mango..
Girlfriends Are Like: Pepsi - Ye Dil Mange More..
Wife Is Like: A Medicine – Bas Ek Hi Kaafi Hai..
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Aapko Meri Kaunsi Aadat Buri Lagti Hai
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Reply Kiya To Faltu Me Ladai Ho Jayegi
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Jaisa Chal Raha Hai Chalne Do
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Chupchap Adjust Karlo..
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Bihaari Aurat Cheque Cash Krane Gayi
Clerk: Sign Karo
Aurat: Kaise?
Clerk: Jaise Khat Ke End Me Likhti Ho
Aurat Ne Likha ‘TOHAAR CHUMMA KE INTEJAR Mein…BijLi’
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Bazar Wali Nazuk Si Hoti He,
Office Wali Naram Naram,
Padosi Wali Ki Patli Si,
Ghar Wali Garma Garam,
Waise Aap Kahan Ki Roti Pasand Karte Ho?
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Hum Tere Bin Kahi Reh Nahi Pate
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Tum Nahi Aate To
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Hum Koi Aur Patate..
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May the joy and peace of Christmas
be with you all through the Year.
Wishing you a season of blessings
from heaven above. Happy Christmas
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Two things upon this changing earth
can neither change nor end;
the splendor of Christ’s humble birth,
the love of friend for friend.
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Somehow, not only for Christmas,
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others,
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing,
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart’s possessing,
Returns to you glad.
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May this Christmas be so special
that you never ever feel lonely again
and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!
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Give Christmas Gifts :
To Your Enemy, Forgiveness.
To An Opponent, Tolerance.
To A Friend, Your Heart.
To A Customer, Service.
To All, Charity.
To Every Child, A Good Example.
To Yourself, Respect.
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Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmasss.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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May your world be filled with warmth and good
cheer this Holy season, and throughout the
year. Wish your Christmas be filled with
peace and love. Merry X-mas.
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Before Now you are just ok,yesterday you were better,today you are perfect,
This is the the effect of a blissful season...christmas.merry it in style.
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Silent night silvery snow...
Evergreen tree bright and aglow...
Christmas is here bringing good cheer...
May it bring for you...
Gifts of love and joy too!
Merry Christmas!!
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A lovely thing about Christmas
Is that it’s compulsory,
Like a thunderstorm,
And we all go through it together.
merry Christmas
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May the good times and
treasures of the present
become the golden memories
of tomorrow. Wish YOU lot of
LOVE, JOY and HAPPINESS. . .
MARRY 'X' MAS.
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Christmas is love...
Christmas is dedication...
Christmas is happiness...
Wishing you and your family a happy Christmas
with a bunch of love and prayers
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Bells are Ringing ThE wishes Of Christmas Day...
The Flying snokflakes send my most sincere wishes To U & ur Family... MERRY CHRISTMAS
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Christmas may be many things
Or it may be a few.
Fòr yòu, the jòy
Is each new tòy
Fòr me its watching u.
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Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,
Lets cherish each moment it beholds,
Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas
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Joy was on Christ,
Love was on mas,
so let all of this found u anywhere u are this lovely season.
merry x mas and happy new year
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Love came down at Christmas;
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Stars and angels gave the sign.
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Ye Kiske Bachhe hai ,mere ya tere…
Goverment Ne Elaan Kiya Ki Jiske 5 Ya Usse Jyada Bachhe Hai, Usko Rahne Ko Ek Ghar Free Mein Degi.
Santa Ke 3 Bachhe Thhe Usne apni wife se kaha.Ki Hamare Padosi Sharma Ji Ke 2 Bachhe Mere Hai, Mein Unko Leke Aata Hun, Kam Se Kam Ghar To Free Mein Mil Jayega”
Santa Dono Bachhe Le Aaya Aur Ghar Aake Dekha, To Uske 3 Bachhe Nahi Hai
Santa: “Hamare Teeno Bachhe Kidhar Hai?”
Wife: “Vo Jinke The Vo Vapis Le Gaye“
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A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2?
Jr : No!Boss: I'm the BOSS
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected)
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A girl gets a pimple,
Her friends: Use Himalayas cream sweety !!
A guy gets a pimple,
His Friends : Aur hila bc..
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Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I`ve seen this face before!""Give it to me", says the other blonde.She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It`s me!!"
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Husband in a good mood:
Darling, remember 25 years ago.... I had a rented one room apartment, a table fan, a black & white tv and a cycle to use. But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 yrs old beautiful girl.
Now I own a luxurious bungalow with, 4 LED TVs, a Limousine and a Porsche, servants... but I sleep with a 50 yrs old woman.
Wife: Dont worry... Just find yourself a 25 yrs old beautiful woman... and I will make sure that you go back to your 1 room rented apartment, table fan, black & white TV and a cycle.
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Dharam Pita... not real father.
Dharam Maa... not real mother.
Dharam Putra... not real son.
Dharam Bhai...... not real brother.
Dharam Behan... not real sister.
But how this zabardast mistake happened? Dharam PATNI... means REAL WIFE.
Pata Karo Shashtro Main Kahan Galti Huyi... !!
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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you an idiot?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're an idiot!
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Sunny Leone: Mujhe Koi aisi Sabzi Do Jiske 7 Phaayde Hon !
Sabziwaala: Ye Lo Madam Gajar !!!
1..: Pasand Aaye Toh Aloo Matar Ke Saath Paka Lena... Warna...
2. Juice Bana Ke Pe Sakti Ho... Nahi Toh...
3. Salad Bana Sakti Ho... Ye Bhi Na Theek Lage Toh...
4. Gaajar Ka Halwa Bana Lena... Nahi Toh...
5. Chinese Noodles Mein Daal Lena... Aisa Bhi Nahi Toh Phir...
6. Murabba Bana Sakte Ho... Aur Agar Ye Bhi Na Pasand Aaye Toh...
7. Achaar Bana Lena !!!
Bhai !!! Jo Tu Dhoond Raha Hai Woh Yahan Nahin Milga...
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Woman's Quote of the Day:Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with.
Men's Counter-Quote of the Day:Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.
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Having lost his donkey, Santa got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" Santa replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the headwaiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile. "Good Morning Sir", the Headwaiter says."What a wonderful morning I`d like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it`s runny, and the other so over cooked it s tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm." "That`s a complicated order Sir," said the bewildered waiter, "It might be quite difficult."The guest replied, "Oh? I don t understand what is the problem in that, that`s what I got yesterday!"
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Boy: Tum Ladki Ho Ke Sharaab Peeti Ho???
Awesome reply by girl: Toh Kya 2-4 Peg Ke Liye Gender Change Karwaun ???
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Boy: I Love You!
Girl: Agar Main Bhi Ttumse I Love You Kahun Toh??
Boy: Main Toh Khushi Se Marrr Jaaunga.
Girl: Jaa Pagle, Nahi Kehti... JEE Le Apni Zindagi
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MOM- Tujhko ladka pasand aaya..
BETI- Ladka to thik hai,par mota bahut hai.
MOM- Dekho beti,TV chaahe 14 inch ka ho ya 29 ka,remote toh 6 inch hi hota hai na.
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Agr jackie chain ki saas ko kidnap kr dia to use kaun vapas layega
Vicks Vapourub
Q..ki VICKS lautaye"Chain Ki Saans".
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Wife: aaj phirse billi doodh peekar chali gayee!
Husband: tumhe kitni baar kaha hai, bra pahenke soya karo.
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Pappu road pe sandas kar raha tha.
Police ne use pakad liya.
Jab use le jaane lage to pappu bola :"sahab saboot to utha lo"!
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Gam woh cheez hai
...
Gam woh cheez hai
...
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hain.
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BacHa KaIse PaIDa Hota HaI
KaLI GHas Ka zunD
usKe BIcH 1LaMBI c SunDH
usMe Se taPKI 2BunDaB AaGe Ka JawaB tu KHuD DHuDH:
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Ladke Ladkiyo Se Jyada Dayalu Hote Hai
Kaise..
Ladki Kabhi Anjan Ladke Ki Help Nhi Karti
Aur Ladka Har Ajnan Ladki Ko Help K Liye Ready Hai.
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Wife- raat ko chor aya tha gar me, or mujhe kiss krke chala gya.
Pati- tumne roka nahi..
Wife- bahut kaha tha rukne k liye, par bola fir aunga,
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Q kisi ki yadon me royajaye,
Q kisi ke khayalo me khoyajaye,
Mera to yakeen hai,
Bahar mausam bahutkharab hai,
Q n razai tankar soya jaye.
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3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again.
Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver.
The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?".
The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us...!!
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Attitude of Girls :
When a Boy Sends Dirty SMS
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She Laughs For 10 Minutes,
Forwards That to Her Friends
and..
Then Replies the Boy
I Don’t Like That Kind of SMS :
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