Jalate hain hum apne dil ko diye ki tarah,
Teri zindagi mein khushiyon ki roshni lane ke liye.
Seh jate hain har chubhan ko apne pairon tale,
Teri rahoon mein phool bhichane ke liye.
Madam: Hand par ek sentence banao.
Boy: My penis in ur Hand.
Madam: MC ye kya likh diya.
Boy: Sorry mam pen ke baad space dena bhul gaya?
Aapko kabhi humsey khone nahi dengey,
Aapko kabhi khud sey alag hone nahi dengey,
Kabhi hume sms b kar diya karo warna,
Aankh mei mirchi daal dengey aur dhone b nahi dengey.
Sending thoughtful wishes your way in the hope you know the joy
And treasures that come with the Christmas season.
Aunty: Are Beta,
Kitna Bada ho gaya hai.
Ladka: Aree Aunty, Aapne Kab Dekha?
Na rahe Koi Gila Is Qadar Wafa Denge,
Apki Ek Khushi Ki Khati Anso Tak Baha Denge,
Kabhi Na Bholenge Apki Dosti Ko Hum,
Dor Reh Kar Bhi Apko Dil Se Dua Denge.
Teacher In Class Mein Bacho Ko Bolti Hai.
Teacher: Write A Sentence Ending With Hand.
Santa: My Penis In Ur Hand.
Teacher Santa Ko Chanta Maarti Hai.
Santa: Sorry Mam, Main Pen Aur Is Ke Bich Mein Space Dena Bhul Gaya Thha.
LECTURE ME MASTI THI ,
HAMARI BHI KUCH HASTI THI,
TEACHER KA SAHARA THA DIL YE AAWARA THA,
KAHAN AA GAYE IS DEGREE KI AAFAT MEIN YAAR WO SCHOOL HI KITNA PAYARA THA.
Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash hai,
Har chehre mein kuchh to ehsah hai,
Aapse dosti hum yun hi nahi kar baithe,
Kya karen hamari pasand hi kuchh KHAAS hai.
Jo Pyar Hamesha Sath Rahe Wo Sacha Hai Ji,
Jo Musibaton Mein Kaam Aaye Wo Acha Hai Ji,
Kabhi Kabhi Humse Bhi Ho Jati Hai Nadaniya,
Kyonki Dil To Baccha Hai Ji.
Height of guessing an answer. Teacher: Who was chandra gupta morya. Santa: He was cousin of ganpati bappa morya.
Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare,
Isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.
Apne Cell Phone Me Koi Romantic Ring Tone Hi Rakhe,
Romantic Ring Tone Sunkar Ladkiyan Jarur Impress Hoti Hai.
Ladkiyon Ko Patane Ke Liye Unhe Impress Karna Bahut Hi Jaruri Hai.
Kasam Se Har Ek Ladki Bhula Dunga,
Sab hi Ki Tasverain Jala DunGa,
Ek Tum hi Raho Ge Iss Dil Me,
Balance Dalwa Do Bhout Dua Dunga.
When Modi meet Mark zuckerberg.
Zuckerberg: what can I do for betterment of indian people?
Modi: Tu pehle woh candy crush bandh kar.
Ladkiyon ko Good personality wale Ladke bahut achche lagte hai,
Issliye koi achchi si Gym me exercise kar apni Body ko attractive banaye.
Isse Ladkiyan aapko dekhte hi impress ho jaengi.
Dudh Aur Ladki Me Kya Fark Hai.
Socho,
Socho,
Dudh Garam Hota Hai To,
Mallai Uppar Aati Hai.
Or Ladki Garam Ho To,
Mallai Niche Aati Hai.
Ishq ke school me naya mahoul taiyar ho gaya,
Pappu ki GF se puri class ko pyar ho gaya,
Bas tabhi se pappu udas ho gaya,
Puri class fail or Pappu pas ho gaya.
Barbaad ho Gaye the hum Duniya ne yun Humko Sataya tha,
Har ek Mod pe Hum Girte the kisi ne bhi na Humko Uthaya tha,
Tab tune hi Sanam ek Umeed ka diya Jalaya tha,
Apne har ek Gam ko Chupakar mujhe jeena Sikhaya tha.
Santa:Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon.
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai.
Banta:Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
Waiter:Apne Samose Aur Pakodon Ko Andar Se Kha Liya,
Lekin Bahar Ka Saara Chhod Diya.
Aisa Kyon? Customer Kyonki Doctor Ne Kaha Hai,
Bahar Ka Khaana Mat Khao
Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha.
Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain.
Kuch Meethe Pal Yaad Aate Hain,
Palko Par Aansu Chor Jate Hain,
Kal Koi Aur Mil Jaye Toh Hume Na Bhool Jana,
Friendship Ke Relation Zindagi Bhar Kaam Aate Hain.
Clean Out An Old Lotion Bottle Your Beach Bag And Put Your Phone, Money And Keys In It For Safer Keeping At The Beach.
Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola: India se USA tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.
Bhagwan bole: Mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.
Aadmi bola: To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.
Bhagwan bole: sadak single banana hai ya double.
Kehtay hain aurat k hath mein barkat hoti hai,
Bilkul sahi hai Q k agar us k hath mein 2 inch ki cheez pakra dein to,
6 inch ki kar deti hai.
Jaisay.
Chapaati.
Think positive yar.
Tumhare jaisa kahi bhi Dekha Shabaab nahi,
Tumhari Haseen Nazar ka bhi Jawab nahi,
Hoge is Duniya me Lakho Haseen,
Magar Tere jaisa koi bhi Lajawaab nahi.
A couple sees a hot girl.
Wife: So big, aren’t they?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural.
Wife: Earrings & Natural?
Total Silence.
Kabhi Us Insan Ko Dard mat dena jo,
Tumhe dil se chahata ho.
Warna ek Din esa hoga.
Dil To hoga par koi chahne wala nahi hoga.
Kitna bebas hain insaan kismat ke aage,
Har sapna tut jata hain hakikat ke aage,
Jisne kbhi duniya me haarna nahi sikha,
Wo bhi haar jata hain mohabbat ke aage.
Murda Ashiq Ki Gujarish,
Gaur Farmaiega Mat Nikalo Mera,
Janaja Us Bewfa Ki Gali Se,
Wrna Uska Bap Khega.
Kamina, Marte Marte Bhi,
1chakr Lga Gya?
तेरे गम को अपनी रूह में उतार लूँ.
जिन्दगी तेरी चाहत में सवार लूँ.
मुलाकात हो तुझ से कुछ इस तरह.
तमाम उमर बस इक मुलाकात में गुजार लूँ.
Apne Aasman Se Meri Zameen Dekh Lo
Tum Khwab Aaj Koyi Haseen Dekh Lo
Agar Aazmana Hain Aitbar Ko Mere Lo
Ek Juth Tum Bolo Or Mera Yakeen Dekh Lo
एक मिनट की देरी से आने से बेहतर है तीन घंटे पहले आ जाना
दूसरों से मदद की उम्मीद ही हर बुराई जड़ है
अच्छाई की प्रचुरता बुराई में बदल जाती है
हमें भाईयों की तरह मिलकर रहना सीखना पड़ेगा, वरना मूर्खों की तरह लड़कर सभी बर्बाद हो जाएंगे.
She: Tu Whatsapp Pe Hai Kya?
Me: Nahi Sorry Main,
Whatsapp Pe Nahi Hu,
Whatsapp Mere Phone Me Hai.
If a Tiger attacks your mother in law & your wife at the same time, whom will you save?
Husband: Of course the tiger, very few are left now.
A msg from, Save the wild life.
Kisi bhi ladki ka dil gahraai se jeetne ke liye uske future or present ki planing aur isme aane wali problem ko solve karne ke liye apne ko use hazir karo.
pata hai ladki apni moral support ke liye bhi apna dil bahut gahrai se de deti hai.
Once rajnikanth kicked a dog and you know what happened.
The dog ran away,
Haha very funny na.