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Aakash's Joke
Cloth To Wear

ANY REPORTER TO LALU : lalu ji , poor women dont have clothes to wear in BIHAR.
LALU JI :you stupid, go and watch Ftv even rich women dont wear the clothes..

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rubru Hokar Baatein

Tujhse Ru-b-Ru Hokar Baatein Karu
Nigahein Milakar Wafa Ke Vaade Karu
Thaam Kar Tera Hath Baith Jaun Tere Samne
Teri Haseen Surat Ke Nazare Karu.

Jun,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mujhpe bikhar

Chehre pe mere zulfo ko phailao kisi din
Kyu roz sirf garajate ho, baras jao kisi din
Khushbu ki tarah guzro mere dil ki gali se
Phulon ki tarah mujhpe bikhar jao kisi din

Jun,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Middle Finger

Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
BUT
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Super Special Day

Wishing you super bright and super special bday!

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nidar Bane

Ladkiyan Darpok Ladko Ko Pasand Nahi Karti Hai Issliye Aap Darna Chhod De Aar Ladkiyon Se Ek Nidar Ki Tarah React Kare.

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Send Good Morning SMS

Aap Apne Din Ki Shuruwat Unhe Ek Mast Sa Good Morning SMS Bhejkar Karen.

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Prediction Of Population

The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I wake up

You are the dream I see every morning when I wake up.

May,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Intezar Mat Kar

Fizao Ke Badalne Ka Intezar Mat Kar,

Andhiyo Ke Rukne Ka Intezar Mat Kar,

Pakad Kisi Ko Aur Faraar Ho Ja,

Papa Ki Pasand Karne Tak Ka Intezar Mat Kar

May,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Night today

Can we do romance in the Mid Night today…
I’m in a good mood…
Just a little bit of kiss n biting…
Reply me soon…
Ur loving mosquito

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
No Smoking No Drinking

Ladkiyon Ke Samne Kabhi Bhi Smoking Na Kare Aur Na Hi Drinking. Ye Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners Wale Ladko Ko Hi Pasand Karti Hai.

May,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Uthana Hai

Aaj barish me tere sang nahana hai,
Sapna ye mera kitna Suhana hai,
Barish ki bunde jo gire tere hotho pe,
Unhe apne hotho se uthana hai.

May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Huggies
Plz froward ths msg to all u care- Dont drink water without boiling bcoz.. Fishes swim without wearing Huggies Now plz dont say thanx.. I care 4u Yaar!
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mast Maal
Pappu bank mein account open karne gaya. Form mein 1 question tha.. “hamari bank me account open karvane ka reason?” Pappu: tumhari cashier mast maal hai!
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Solid Bezzati
Solid Bezzati Boy to Slim Girl: Apni Body to Dekho Jese Haddiya hi Haddiya ho.. Girl: Isliye Itni Dair Se Soch Rahi Hu ke Mere Paas Kutta Kyu khada hain.
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Neend Keheti Hai

Duniya jise neend keheti hai,
Jane woh kya cheez hoti hai,
Aankhe to hum bhi band karte hain,
Aur woh aapse milne ki tarkeeb hoti hai.

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dil mein

Labo par na sahi lekin, dil mein ikraar hain. Hum to keh chuke ab tum bhi keh do, ki tumko humse pyar ha

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jaan Hamari

Jaan Hai Mujhe Zindagi Se Pyari,
Jaan Ke Liye Kar Du Kurbaan Kuch Bhi,
Jaan Ke Liye Tod Du Yaari Tumhari,
Ab To Maan Jao Manane Se,
Qki Tumhi Ho Jaan Hamari.

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Heart touching

One Heart touching line-

Ek arse baad mile toh mera naam puch liya usne.
Bichhadte waqt
Jisne kaha tha tumhari bahut yaad aayegi ..!!

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I miss you

I miss you.
I miss all of the caring
things you do,
and spending the evening
alone with you.Missing You………..

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I'll Kiss u

Larka larki se: I'll Kiss u
Larki: Mein shor machaoongi.

Larka: Yahan to door door tak koi nahi
Larki: To kya hua FORMALITY to poori karni hai na.

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Romance Mathematics

Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jaane teri aankhe

jaane teri aankhe thi ya baate thi vajah.

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
No idea sir jee.

Dr to Ash’s baby in hospital
Dr.: who is ur grandpa?
Baby: Big B
Dr.: Who is ur Mom?
Baby: Miss World
Dr.: who is ur father?
Baby: No idea sir jee.

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
HEART ATTACKS

Why Girls Live Longer Than Boys?

Scientific Studies have Proved that…

SHOPPING Never Causes HEART ATTACKS,
But
Paying-the-Bils Does.

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Errors And Warnings

A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings

Apr,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
PADHAI to kerni hi hai

Friend ke saath karo ya Girl friend ke saath,
Room me karo ya garden me,
Din me karo ya raat me
Bed pe karo ya sofe pe
PADHAI to kerni hi hai!

Apr,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dosti

Father: Kya hua beta,
Kyu ro rahe ho mujhe batawo, me tera dost hu
Son: Kya batau yaar apni wali se milne gaya tha,
teri wali ne dekh liya bohot mara

Apr,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Fefde Bahar Aa Gaye

Bacha Chest pe hath rak k pencil uthne k liye jhuka
Baap: Chest pe hath kyu rkha?
Bacha: School me madam bina hath rakhe juki thi to fefde bahar aagaye

 

Apr,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Thank God

Sumona: How much do you love me ?
Kapil: I love U so much, I can’t measure.
Sumona: No just tell me…
Kapil : Okay, I am like a cellphone &
you are my SIM card, i am nothing
without you…
Sumona: Wow ! that’s so romantic
Kapil (saying to himself): Thank God
she doesn’t know, this is a Chinese
phone, with FOUR SIM cards


Apr,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Satwa janam ho

Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?

Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein..  aur aap kya mangoge?

Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho!!




Apr,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sweet Kiss


.........*Kiss* 
...*Kiss*...*Kiss* 
.*Kiss*.......*Kiss* 
...*Kiss*......*Kiss* 
......*Kiss* 
...........*Kiss* 
*Kiss*......*Kiss* 
.*Kiss*.......*Kiss* 
...*Kiss*...*Kiss* 
.........*Kiss

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cant delete

I cant delete your number coz i really enjoy watching a disaster i.e. your life..!!!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Vadafone New Offer

Vadafone New Offer!
Vada 2 Vada Free!
Vada 2 Ullivada 10ps
Vada 2 Parippuvada 40ps
Other vada 49ps!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I Kiss u


Boy: Agar 1 se 5 me aya to I Kiss u
Grl: Wht? Acha or 6 Aya To
Boy: Kabi Ludo Nhi Kheli Kya 6 Aya To dubara meri bari

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Maa


Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in. Lady takes it out,
machhar says “MAA”! Lady asks why did you call me “MAA”?
machhar says, “Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!”.

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nice one

Do you like mathematics?
If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes,
divide your legs and we can multiply!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Moral

Boy ki engagement 1 bohut Khubsurat Ladki se fix hui…
Woh dono pure din rat whatsap se baat kiya karte rehte the.
Akhir vo raat aahi gaii..
ush raat ladka, ladki ka ghoonghat uthaakar bola..
Tum wakai hi bahut khubsurat ho… Tumhe kya gift karu..
Ladki sharmati hui boli….
“Do aap taa Dill Tale….”.
MORAL: Kam se kam ek call toh kar lena chahiye tha, Bus dekh liya whats aap ka natija. :shock: :D

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Done-Dana-Dan.

Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.
Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sharaab Hoti

Mein Tod Leta Agar Tum Gulab Hoti,
Main Jawab Banta Agar Tum Sawal Hoti,
Sabhi Jante Hai Ki Mein Nasha Nahi Karta,
Fir Bhi Pee Lete Agar Tum Sharaab Hoti.

Apr,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love With U

Between ten people, nine maybe
in love with you..
But, You'll fall in love exactly for
that
one who doesn't love you... !!!
agree ???

 

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dil Dukhana

Zindagi Hasne Ka Naam Hai,
Rona Kis Kaam Ka,
Jaane Wale Chale Gaye,
Unke Liye Dil Dukhana Kis Kaam Ka..

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sunhari dhup

Sunhari dhup barsat ke bad,
Thodi si khushi har baat ke baad,
Usi tarah ho mubarak aap ko ye nayi subah kal raat ke baad.
Happy Baisakhi!!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Flirting

Tum jis ladke ko chahti ho uske doston ke saath thodi flirting kiya karo. Tum jise chahti ho use bilkul bhav mat do. Wo jalan se aag-baboola ho jayega. Tumhare prem mein wo joru ka ghulam ban jayega.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nasha

Ladki Se Nasha Hota hai,
Nashe Se Junoon,
Junun Se Mehnat,
Mehnat Se Padhai,
Padhai Se Career
IsLiye Career Banane K Liye…Ladki Patana Zaruri hai dost!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Winter special

Husband roz ki tarah subah walk per gaya to dekha bahar bahot thand ho rahi thi
woh turant wapas aa gaya, aur chhaddar mein ghuss kar biwi se chipak gaya..Aur bolaa bahar bahut thand ho rahi hai!!
Biwi (neend mein)or phir bhi woh pagal walk pe gaya hai..

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ek hi prashna ke 2 jawab..

Ek hi prashna ke 2 jawab..
1)Maa: Ja Red Label le kar aa…Beta: Aadha Kilo ya 1 Kilo?
2)Papa: Ja Red Label le kar aa…Beta: Quarter ya half?

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kisaan ka beta

us budhe kisan ne apne beteko jail me khat likha –
“beta main aalu ki fasal nahi bo sakta,
Itna bada khet mujse nahi khudega kash tu meri madad kar pata.”

Bete ne wapas jawab diya –
“papa aap khet mat khodna,
mene waha hathiyar chhupa rakhe hai !!!

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Punjabi Jokes

Santa- kal mere vyah te tu kii payenga…

Banta- daaru pee ke kalesh.

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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