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Liza's Joke
Good one

जब देर रात कोई टौंट मार के पूछता है..
"सोये नहीं.. अभी तक ऑनलाइन हो.. क्या बात है..?"
मन होता है की अपना सड़ता हुआ मोजा उसपे फेंक के कहूँ..
"होश में आ गधे.. तू भी तो ऑनलाइन है..!!" wink.png grin.png

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Condom

a sardar breaks an egg to make an omellette, he notices that the egg is empty,
sardar says "be#ch#d ab murge bhi condom use karne lag gaye"

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love

LOVE ? In FraNce: its a comedy! in GeRmaNy: its a tRagedy! In Italy: its woNdeR! In India: . . . Its a NATIONAL GAME !

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wheat crop

Wheat crop is ready for harvest;
Time to rejoice and feel nice;
Fruits to reap of blood and sweat;
And get joyous and celebrate life!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aankh milakar baat

Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare, isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shadi ki vedio

संता तालियां बजा-बजा कर अपनी शादी का विडियो देख रहा था।

बीवी ने किचन से आवाज लगाकर पूछा: इतना हल्ला क्यों कर रहे हो?

संता: हमारी शादी का विडियो देख रहा हूं.

बीवी: क्या बात है जी, तो इसलिए इतने खुश हो रहे हो !

.

संता: हां… विडियो रिवर्स करके देख रहा हूं!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
House for rent

एक मकान मालिक ने अपने घर के बाहर बोर्ड लगा रखा था कि किराए पर घर केवल उन्हें मिलेगा, जिनके बाल-बच्चे न हों. बोर्ड देख कर एक बच्चा मकान मालिक के पास गया और बोला कि अंकल मुझे मकान दे दीजिए मेरे बच्चे नहीं हैं. केवल मां-बाप हैं.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sardar ka boot

1 sardar ka boot phat gya usne Boot mochi ko
Diya aor kha k es ko aisa siyo k Shakal nazar aaye,
Mochi ne boot mein Shisha laga dia.
1 larki sardar ki shop pe aaye to sardar ne boot us ki taango k neechay kia
aor kha k ap ne neela underwear pehna hai,
Larki heraan ho gai. Next day wo Red underwear pehn gai to sardar ne phir bta dia
3rd day wo underwear pehn kar nahi aaye, jaisay he sardar ne boot rakha to bola :
"oo tohadi pehn nu boot feir paat gya"

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kabir ka doha

Chodan chodan sab kare chod saka nhi koy,
Jab chodan ki bari aa e land khra nhi hoy.

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Never underestimate

Never underestimate the power of three things;

1. Wife angry for a reason;

2. Wife angry without reason

and

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Stages of a relationship

Stage 1: Talk, talk and talk

Stage 2: Please talk to me

Stage 3: Don’t you dare talk to me

Stage 4: We need to talk..

Apr,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Makes you cry


My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Apr,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Banta’s plan

Santa : what are u doing, bro?
Banta : dinner, followed by scotch

Santa : bhai, black label?
Banta : nahi bhai, scotch brite se bartan dho raha hun

Apr,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
नेता के भाषण


संता किसी नेता के भाषण समारोह में गया।
नेता: यह धरती मेरी माँ है।
संता खड़ा हुआ और बोला, "तो अपनी माँ को संभाल कर रखो। यह सूरज के इर्द-गिर्द चक्कर लगाती रहती है।

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
औरतों के दो करिश्मे


औरतों के दो करिश्मे:
1. बिना घास खाये दूध देती हैं।
2. लौड़ा नहीं होता फिर भी मर्दों की गांड मार लेती हैं

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wo bhi ek zamana tha


Pita: Beta, ek zamana tha, jab main 10/- lekar bazaar jata tha aur kirana, sabzi doodh sab le aata tha

Beta: Pitaji ab zamana badal gaya hai, Aajkal har dukaan par CCTV-Camera lage hote hain!

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Malinga ki Maa

Malinga ki Maa ne ek din us se kaha..
Beta:Ja apne bal cut kar ke aaja,
Malinga ne kaha kun kia baat hai,
Maa:Beta bartan dhone ka Scruber khatm ho gaya hai...

Mar,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
School Ahead

Teacher: Why are you late?
santa: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
santa: The one that says,
“School Ahead, Go Slow.”

Mar,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सर क्या आप को मेरी आवाज आ रही है

ऑपरेटर- सर क्या आप को मेरी आवाज आ रही है?

दूसरी तरफ से अभी भी कोई आवाज नहीं आई।

ऑपरेटर- सर प्लीज, जवाब दीजिये, क्या आप मुझे सुन रहे हैं?

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
बीवी इतनी प्यारी लगती थी

संता- जब मेरी नई नई शादी हुई थी तो मुझे मेरी बीवी इतनी प्यारी लगती थी कि मन करता था खा जाऊं। बंता- और अब? संता- खा ही जाता तो अच्छा था। -

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
प्यार

जब भी आप उनसे मिले प्यार से उनके सिर को चूमें।

Mar,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
प्रेमी

आप अपनी गर्लफ्रैंड की बातों को ध्यान से सुनें। क्यों कि हर लड़की चाहती है कि उसका प्रेमी उसका ख्याल रखे। इससे उसे यह महसूस होगा कि आप उसके सच्चे साथी हैं जो सुख-दुःख में काम आते हैं।

Mar,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare

Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?

Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein.. :-) aur aap kya mangoge?

Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho!!

Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aye khuda barish karwa

Aye khuda barish karwa de.
Ek katora pani bharwa de.
Jo mujhe sms nhi karta,uska/uski mobile ko is
katora main duba de.
Na rahega phone
Na bajega tone.

Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aadmi Ka Sasural

Ek aadmi sasural gaya,
Uski saas ne use 7 din tak
Subah-sham palak ka saag
khilaya.
8ve din pucha..Beta,kya khaoge?
Aadmi bola, khet dikha do,
Khud hi char aaunga.

Mar,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Santa Kamwali

Santa Kamwali ko chhed raha tha.
Kamwali:- Battamizi mat kar, MOR bana dungi.
Santa:- Murga banate suna tha. Mor kaise banate hai.
Kamwali:- Gand me ulti zadu daal ke

Mar,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rai Ka Pahad

Teacher: Give example for
‘Rai ka pahad banana..’

.

.

Student: Padded bra..

Mar,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Arz Kiya hai

arz kiya hai suniye...
Hm gye the unke ghar, kahna tha Dil se Dil mila lo..

Hm gaye the unke ghar, kahna tha Dil se Dil mila lo..
Aur
jub dekha unki mummy ko to bola..
Aunty bacche ko polio ki dwa pilwa lo...

Feb,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cook & Eat

A typical cook and eat restaurant is a wonderful experience for anyone. It helps you bond and laugh while you goof up, and awe when you cook up a perfect little dish!

Feb,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Don't Take It

Tell her your name first before you ask for hers. If she doesn't seem to like you, don't push her, just calmly walk away with a stiff smile. This will give her a sense of security and warmth and she'll tend to smile at you the next day. You should also reflect her smile. Slowly, conversation may start, if it doesn't, forget her.

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pyaari Muskrahat

Kitna pyara muskura lete ho,
Kitni asani se apna bana lete ho,
Itni dosti kaise nibha lete ho,
Kisi se sikha hai ya sirf meri nakal utar lete ho!

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
CID Vale

Mere hathon me hai ek fuulon ki mala……..

wah wah.

mere hathonme hai ek fuulon ki mala………

ACP PRADYUMAN BOLA “Oh my god isse kisne mar dala……

Jan,31 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Galat fehmi

Wife: kal rat tum mujhey neend main galian kiyon de rahey thay?

Husband: tumhain galat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kaisi galat fehmi???

Husband: yehi k main neend main tha..

Jan,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pyaar Ki Dastaan

Apne Dil Mein Tumhare Pyar Ki Dastaan Likhi Hai,
Na Thodi Na Bahut Tamaam Likhi Hai !
Kabhi Humaare Liye Bhi Dua Kar Liya Karo,
Kyon Ki Humne Apni Har Ik Saans Tumhare Naam Likhi Hai !!

Jan,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dil

Aankhon ki gehraayi ko samajh nahi paate,
Hoth hai magar kuch hum keh nahi paate,
Apni Dil ki baat kis tarah kahe tumse,
Tum wahi ho jinke bina hum reh nahi paate.

Jan,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Badi Muddat Baad

Badi muddat baad
Aaj phone par uski awaz suni toh..
.
.
Dil ne dhadakte hue kaha..
.
.
Jaldi yaad kar kamine kaunsi wali hai..!!!

Jan,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Andha kaanon


Ek BAR 1 judge ne
RAJNIKANT ko crime
karte hue dekh liya
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
toh kya?
tabse Kaanon andha ho gaya

Jan,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Red Signal

DRIVING TEST:
POLICE: Wat do u do in red signal?
Boy: I usually text, check mails n browse facebook..!
MODERN GENERATION

Jan,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Girls Hostel

Girls hostel ki light 3 din se gayab..
Tang aa kar madam ne deprtmnt ko
phon kiya aur kaha,
3 din se ladkiya mombati se kaam
chala rahi hai,
Aaj to Admi bhej do

Jan,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ishq Ka Chand

Woh karte hai baat ishq ki,
Par ishq ke dard ka unhe ehsas nahi,
Ishq woh chand hai jo dikhta hai sab ko,
Par usse pana sab ke bas ka kaam nahi

Jan,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Girlfriend Ko Kiss

Samunder me pani, pani me fish.

wah! wah!

Samunder me pani, pani me fish.

wah! wah!

Aap ko salam aur aap ki Girlfriend ko kiss…

Ab bol wah wah

Jan,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Blue Film

Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge

Jan,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wife Ke Iraday

Wife: Meray iraday baray naik hain,

Aap 100 main say aik hain!

Husband: dimagh k hum b DON hain,

pehle ye bata baqi k 99 koN ha.

Jan,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
The Sun And Kites

The sun rises with new hope

Kites fly with vigour crops

Are ready to be harvested

All denoting hope,

Joy and abundance.

Jan,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Khandani Aashiq

Larka ek Larki ka peecha kar raha tha.. . . . .
Girl:”Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri Maa aa rahi hai.. . . . . .
Larka:”Tu Tension Na Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai.. . .
Teri maa ke peechey mera Baap aa raha hai..
Girl Shocked – Boy Rocked

Jan,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Zindagi Me Kami

Sooni zindagi me halchal mehsoos hui,bejan dil me dhadkan mehsos
hui,jane
kyu aaj aisa laga,shayad tumhari kami mehsoos hui.

Jan,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
No Smoking

Ladkiyon Ke Samne Kabhi Bhi Smoking Na Kare Aur Na Hi Drinking. Ye Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners Wale Ladko Ko Hi Pasand Karti Hai.

Jan,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
KBC Ka Sawal

Maa mein KBC se bol raha hun.Mere Pitaji ka naam kya hai
Maa: Sawal Kitne ka hai.
Banta: 1000 Rupess ka.
Maa: Beta Quit karde 1000 rupaye ke liye ghar mein talwarein nikal aayengi

Jan,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Girlfriend Kaisi Hoti Hai?

Bhai ko Bhai se juda kr deti he - "GF" Maa ko Bete se juda kr deti he - "GF"
Pati aur Patni ke Beech Jhagda paida kr deti he- "GF"
Insan ko Duniya se juda kr deti he-
"GF"
Ghar me Jhagda karwa deti he -"GF
'GF" matlab - GALAT FEHMI
Jo is waqt aapko hui he.

Girl Friend to Bechari Masoom hoti he.

Jan,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ladke Ka Kiss

Suhagrat Par Ladke Ne Patni Ko Kiss Ki Aur So Gaya.
Agle Din Saas Bahu Mandir Jane Lage To Saas Boli.
Saas: “Beta Mandir Jane Se Pahle Naha Lo”
Bahu Gusse Se: “Maa Ji, Sirf Brush Karva Lo, Baki Sab Saaf Hai“

Jan,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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