STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
जब देर रात कोई टौंट मार के पूछता है..
"सोये नहीं.. अभी तक ऑनलाइन हो.. क्या बात है..?"
मन होता है की अपना सड़ता हुआ मोजा उसपे फेंक के कहूँ..
"होश में आ गधे.. तू भी तो ऑनलाइन है..!!" 
1
a sardar breaks an egg to make an omellette, he notices that the egg is empty,
sardar says "be#ch#d ab murge bhi condom use karne lag gaye"
1
LOVE ? In FraNce: its a comedy! in GeRmaNy: its a tRagedy! In Italy: its woNdeR! In India: . . . Its a NATIONAL GAME !
1
Wheat crop is ready for harvest;
Time to rejoice and feel nice;
Fruits to reap of blood and sweat;
And get joyous and celebrate life!
1
Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare, isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.
1
संता तालियां बजा-बजा कर अपनी शादी का विडियो देख रहा था।
बीवी ने किचन से आवाज लगाकर पूछा: इतना हल्ला क्यों कर रहे हो?
संता: हमारी शादी का विडियो देख रहा हूं.
बीवी: क्या बात है जी, तो इसलिए इतने खुश हो रहे हो !
.
संता: हां… विडियो रिवर्स करके देख रहा हूं!
1
एक मकान मालिक ने अपने घर के बाहर बोर्ड लगा रखा था कि किराए पर घर केवल उन्हें मिलेगा, जिनके बाल-बच्चे न हों. बोर्ड देख कर एक बच्चा मकान मालिक के पास गया और बोला कि अंकल मुझे मकान दे दीजिए मेरे बच्चे नहीं हैं. केवल मां-बाप हैं.
1
1 sardar ka boot phat gya usne Boot mochi ko
Diya aor kha k es ko aisa siyo k Shakal nazar aaye,
Mochi ne boot mein Shisha laga dia.
1 larki sardar ki shop pe aaye to sardar ne boot us ki taango k neechay kia
aor kha k ap ne neela underwear pehna hai,
Larki heraan ho gai. Next day wo Red underwear pehn gai to sardar ne phir bta dia
3rd day wo underwear pehn kar nahi aaye, jaisay he sardar ne boot rakha to bola :
"oo tohadi pehn nu boot feir paat gya"
1
Chodan chodan sab kare chod saka nhi koy,
Jab chodan ki bari aa e land khra nhi hoy.
1
Never underestimate the power of three things;
1. Wife angry for a reason;
2. Wife angry without reason
and
3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.
1
Stage 1: Talk, talk and talk
Stage 2: Please talk to me
Stage 3: Don’t you dare talk to me
Stage 4: We need to talk..
1
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
1
Santa : what are u doing, bro?
Banta : dinner, followed by scotch
Santa : bhai, black label?
Banta : nahi bhai, scotch brite se bartan dho raha hun
1
संता किसी नेता के भाषण समारोह में गया।
नेता: यह धरती मेरी माँ है।
संता खड़ा हुआ और बोला, "तो अपनी माँ को संभाल कर रखो। यह सूरज के इर्द-गिर्द चक्कर लगाती रहती है।
2
औरतों के दो करिश्मे:
1. बिना घास खाये दूध देती हैं।
2. लौड़ा नहीं होता फिर भी मर्दों की गांड मार लेती हैं
1
Pita: Beta, ek zamana tha, jab main 10/- lekar bazaar jata tha aur kirana, sabzi doodh sab le aata tha
Beta: Pitaji ab zamana badal gaya hai, Aajkal har dukaan par CCTV-Camera lage hote hain!
1
Malinga ki Maa ne ek din us se kaha..
Beta:Ja apne bal cut kar ke aaja,
Malinga ne kaha kun kia baat hai,
Maa:Beta bartan dhone ka Scruber khatm ho gaya hai...
1
Teacher: Why are you late?
santa: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
santa: The one that says,
“School Ahead, Go Slow.”
1
ऑपरेटर- सर क्या आप को मेरी आवाज आ रही है?
दूसरी तरफ से अभी भी कोई आवाज नहीं आई।
ऑपरेटर- सर प्लीज, जवाब दीजिये, क्या आप मुझे सुन रहे हैं?
1
संता- जब मेरी नई नई शादी हुई थी तो मुझे मेरी बीवी इतनी प्यारी लगती थी कि मन करता था खा जाऊं। बंता- और अब? संता- खा ही जाता तो अच्छा था। -
1
जब भी आप उनसे मिले प्यार से उनके सिर को चूमें।
1
आप अपनी गर्लफ्रैंड की बातों को ध्यान से सुनें। क्यों कि हर लड़की चाहती है कि उसका प्रेमी उसका ख्याल रखे। इससे उसे यह महसूस होगा कि आप उसके सच्चे साथी हैं जो सुख-दुःख में काम आते हैं।
1
Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?
Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein.. :-) aur aap kya mangoge?
Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho!!
1
Aye khuda barish karwa de.
Ek katora pani bharwa de.
Jo mujhe sms nhi karta,uska/uski mobile ko is
katora main duba de.
Na rahega phone
Na bajega tone.
1
Ek aadmi sasural gaya,
Uski saas ne use 7 din tak
Subah-sham palak ka saag
khilaya.
8ve din pucha..Beta,kya khaoge?
Aadmi bola, khet dikha do,
Khud hi char aaunga.
1
Santa Kamwali ko chhed raha tha.
Kamwali:- Battamizi mat kar, MOR bana dungi.
Santa:- Murga banate suna tha. Mor kaise banate hai.
Kamwali:- Gand me ulti zadu daal ke
1
Teacher: Give example for
‘Rai ka pahad banana..’
.
.
Student: Padded bra..
1
arz kiya hai suniye...
Hm gye the unke ghar, kahna tha Dil se Dil mila lo..
Hm gaye the unke ghar, kahna tha Dil se Dil mila lo..
Aur
jub dekha unki mummy ko to bola..
Aunty bacche ko polio ki dwa pilwa lo...
1
A typical cook and eat restaurant is a wonderful experience for anyone. It helps you bond and laugh while you goof up, and awe when you cook up a perfect little dish!
1
Tell her your name first before you ask for hers. If she doesn't seem to like you, don't push her, just calmly walk away with a stiff smile. This will give her a sense of security and warmth and she'll tend to smile at you the next day. You should also reflect her smile. Slowly, conversation may start, if it doesn't, forget her.
1
Kitna pyara muskura lete ho,
Kitni asani se apna bana lete ho,
Itni dosti kaise nibha lete ho,
Kisi se sikha hai ya sirf meri nakal utar lete ho!
1
Mere hathon me hai ek fuulon ki mala……..
wah wah.
mere hathonme hai ek fuulon ki mala………
ACP PRADYUMAN BOLA “Oh my god isse kisne mar dala……
2
Wife: kal rat tum mujhey neend main galian kiyon de rahey thay?
Husband: tumhain galat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kaisi galat fehmi???
Husband: yehi k main neend main tha..
1
Apne Dil Mein Tumhare Pyar Ki Dastaan Likhi Hai,
Na Thodi Na Bahut Tamaam Likhi Hai !
Kabhi Humaare Liye Bhi Dua Kar Liya Karo,
Kyon Ki Humne Apni Har Ik Saans Tumhare Naam Likhi Hai !!
1
Aankhon ki gehraayi ko samajh nahi paate,
Hoth hai magar kuch hum keh nahi paate,
Apni Dil ki baat kis tarah kahe tumse,
Tum wahi ho jinke bina hum reh nahi paate.
1
Badi muddat baad
Aaj phone par uski awaz suni toh..
.
.
Dil ne dhadakte hue kaha..
.
.
Jaldi yaad kar kamine kaunsi wali hai..!!!
1
Ek BAR 1 judge ne
RAJNIKANT ko crime
karte hue dekh liya
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
toh kya?
tabse Kaanon andha ho gaya
1
DRIVING TEST:
POLICE: Wat do u do in red signal?
Boy: I usually text, check mails n browse facebook..!
MODERN GENERATION
2
Girls hostel ki light 3 din se gayab..
Tang aa kar madam ne deprtmnt ko
phon kiya aur kaha,
3 din se ladkiya mombati se kaam
chala rahi hai,
Aaj to Admi bhej do
1
Woh karte hai baat ishq ki,
Par ishq ke dard ka unhe ehsas nahi,
Ishq woh chand hai jo dikhta hai sab ko,
Par usse pana sab ke bas ka kaam nahi
1
Samunder me pani, pani me fish.
wah! wah!
Samunder me pani, pani me fish.
wah! wah!
Aap ko salam aur aap ki Girlfriend ko kiss…
Ab bol wah wah
1
Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge
44
Wife: Meray iraday baray naik hain,
Aap 100 main say aik hain!
Husband: dimagh k hum b DON hain,
pehle ye bata baqi k 99 koN ha.
1
The sun rises with new hope
Kites fly with vigour crops
Are ready to be harvested
All denoting hope,
Joy and abundance.
1
Larka ek Larki ka peecha kar raha tha.. . . . .
Girl:”Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri Maa aa rahi hai.. . . . . .
Larka:”Tu Tension Na Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai.. . .
Teri maa ke peechey mera Baap aa raha hai..
Girl Shocked – Boy Rocked
1
Sooni zindagi me halchal mehsoos hui,bejan dil me dhadkan mehsos
hui,jane
kyu aaj aisa laga,shayad tumhari kami mehsoos hui.
1
Ladkiyon Ke Samne Kabhi Bhi Smoking Na Kare Aur Na Hi Drinking. Ye Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners Wale Ladko Ko Hi Pasand Karti Hai.
1
Maa mein KBC se bol raha hun.Mere Pitaji ka naam kya hai
Maa: Sawal Kitne ka hai.
Banta: 1000 Rupess ka.
Maa: Beta Quit karde 1000 rupaye ke liye ghar mein talwarein nikal aayengi
1
Bhai ko Bhai se juda kr deti he - "GF" Maa ko Bete se juda kr deti he - "GF"
Pati aur Patni ke Beech Jhagda paida kr deti he- "GF"
Insan ko Duniya se juda kr deti he-
"GF"
Ghar me Jhagda karwa deti he -"GF
'GF" matlab - GALAT FEHMI
Jo is waqt aapko hui he.
Girl Friend to Bechari Masoom hoti he.
1
Suhagrat Par Ladke Ne Patni Ko Kiss Ki Aur So Gaya.
Agle Din Saas Bahu Mandir Jane Lage To Saas Boli.
Saas: “Beta Mandir Jane Se Pahle Naha Lo”
Bahu Gusse Se: “Maa Ji, Sirf Brush Karva Lo, Baki Sab Saaf Hai“
1