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Liza's Joke
बेटे की शादी

एक बार संता ने अपने बेटे की शादी की.
बहू विदाई के बाद घर आ गई तब संता की पत्नी ,सास ने कहा: बेटी आज से मुझे मां और अपने ससुर को पापा कहना.
शाम को संता का बेटा ,पति के आने पर पत्नी बोली: मां भैया आ गए.

Nov,7 2015
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Rajni Was Born

Do you know?
When Rajni was born?
On 30 feb & scince then february
Decidec not to gove this day to anybody else.

Nov,6 2015
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Hippos

When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

Nov,3 2015
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Lime Juice

Use lime juice as a scrub Mix lime juice with sweet almond oil and sea salt.
Use your fingers or a cotton wool and apply it on your face in a circular motion.
This natural scrub will remove dead cells from your face giving a radiant glow.
Lime peel also aids in fading scars and pimple marks from face.

 

Nov,3 2015
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Lifeforms

There are more lifeforms living on your skin Then,
There are people on the planet.

Nov,3 2015
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Aitbar Nahi

1st Girl: Aaj Kal Ke Ladko Ka Koi Aitbar Nahi.
Main To Ab Uss kamine ka Mooh Bhi Nahi Dekhungi.
2nd Girl: Kyon Kya Hua?
Tumne Usey Kisi Aur Ladki Ke Sath Dekh Liya?
1st Girl: Nahi Usne Mujhe Kisi Aur Ladke Ke Sath Dekh Liya Hai,
Jab Ki Wo Kal Bol Raha Tha Ki Woh Out Of City Ja Raha Hai.

 

Nov,3 2015
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Bum Se Idli

Frustrated Rajnikant:
"Kuch to
Rehem karo kamino ..!..Ab Ye
Kisne Likha Ki Rajni Jab Chawal Khata
Hai..To Uske bum Se Idli Nikalti
Hai.

Oct,30 2015
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Ready To Die

Sunny loene: Get ready to Die.
Alok Nath: Par mere sir me to baal hi nai hai Beti.

Oct,29 2015
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Hasimazaak Temple Joke

Oct,28 2015
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Crazy Sardaar

Sardaar raat ko cycle le ke qabristan main ghus gaya.
Phir dusri side se bahar nikla,
Aur paseena ponchhty hue bola: Yaar, ye konsa road tha?
Itne sare speed breaker.

Oct,28 2015
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Hope Bulb

Hume tumse Love hai.
Please refuse na karna.
Ye zero watt ka hope bulb hai.
Please ise fuse na karna.

Oct,28 2015
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Rub Se Pyara

Rab se pyara koi naam nahi hota,
Uski ibadat se bada koi kaam nahi hota,
Duniya ki mohabbat me hai ruswaiya,
Par uski mohabbat me koi badnam nahi hota.

Oct,27 2015
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Dua Mein Tujhe

Main Dua Mein Tujhe Manga Hai,
Magar Wafa Se Manga Hai.
Kabhi Sajde Mein Jakar Pucho Apne Rab Se,
K Maine Kis Kis Ada Se Tumhe Manga Hai.

Oct,27 2015
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SHRAAP Deta Hu

Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me- Aye Murkh
Me Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye Maharaj
Me Glas Leke Ata hu

Oct,27 2015
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Patidev

जो अमृत पीते हैं उन्हें देव... और जो विष पीते हैं उन्हें 'महादेव' कहते है...लेकिन विष पीकर भी जो अमृत जैसा मुंह बनाए उसे 'पतिदेव' कहते हैं..

Oct,26 2015
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Aur Rajnikanth

Newton ek light ke niche padha.
Edison ek bulb ke niche padha.
Aur Rajnikanth.
Ek agarbatti ke niche padha.

Oct,26 2015
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Teri Ada

Arj kiya hai: Teri ada kafi hai dil jalane k liye,
Wah Wah,
Teri ada kafi hai dil jalane k liye,
Itni badi pant pehenta hai,
Choti si mungfali chupane k liye.

Oct,24 2015
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Aaj Ka Sawal

Muhabbat Ho jati hai ya karni parti hai?
very simple.
Ladki Khoobsurat ho to ho jati hai.
Agar Ameer ho to karni parti hai.

Oct,24 2015
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10 Ka Doodh

Dad: Ek zamana tha jab mai 10 rupaye me Doodh Pee k aata tha.
Son: Woh zamana gaya dad Aajkal toh 10 rupaye me koi dikhati bhi nahi hai.

Oct,20 2015
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Police Ki Talaash

Don ko 11 Mulko ki police Talash Rahi Hai.
Isliye Don Rajnikant ke ghar me chupta hai.

Oct,20 2015
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Sadak Ke Kinare

Ladki Sadak Pe Jaa Rahi Thhi Aur Sardar Ji Ko Sadak Ke Kinare Peshab Kartey Dekh Kar Apna Rasta Badalne Lagi.
To Sardar Ji Bole: Oye Kudiye Tu Darr Na, Jiss Cheez Se Tu Darr Rahi Hai Usko To Maine Hath Mein Pakda Hua Hai.

Oct,19 2015
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Free SMS

Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai mein,
Hume mat dhundo duniya ki bheed mein,
Hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,
Free SMS ki scheme mein.

Oct,17 2015
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Naseeb

Chae ki patti (tea) aur pati (husband) me kya similarity hai?
Dono k naseeb me jalna aur ubalna likha ha & woh b aurat k hathon.

Oct,16 2015
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Girlfriend

Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: R u married?
Marij: NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend?
Marij: NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho?
Marij: NO
Dr.: To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya.

Oct,14 2015
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Future Encounters

What is your favorite thing I do to you when we have sex?
This is definitely good information to file away for future encounters.
Who does not like hearing how awesome they are in bed?

Oct,13 2015
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Silaai Ke Rupaye

Mochi Ki Shaadi Hui,
Suhaagraat Mein Woh Kuch Kiye Bina Hi So Gaya.
Biwi Ne Uska Haath Apne Neeche Lagaya Toh Woh Chonk Ke Bola,
Isski Silaai Ke 35 Ruppaye Lunga.

Oct,13 2015
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Hasimazaak Desi Cupple Joke


Oct,9 2015
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Suraj

Shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai.
waah waah.
Shaam ka suraj dhal chuka hai.
Oh my God sir: Ye to mar chuka hai.

Oct,3 2015
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विदाई

एक बार संता ने अपने बेटे की शादी की.
बहू विदाई के बाद घर आ गई तब संता की पत्नी (सास) ने कहा: बेटी आज से मुझे मां और अपने ससुर को पापा कहना.
शाम को संता का बेटा (पति) के आने पर पत्नी बोली: मां भैया आ गए.

Sep,28 2015
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Dhadkan

Tera Intezaar Mujhe Har Pal Rehta Hai,
Har Lamha Mujhe Tera Ehsaas Rehta Hai,
Tujh Bin Dhadkane Rukk Si Jaati Hai,
Ki Tu Mere Dil Me Meri Dhadkan Banke Rehta Hai.

Sep,25 2015
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ID

MAA BAAP ko bete ke kitne kushi hote hai,
Kitne duaon ke baad beta hota hai aur wo,
Nalaik facebook per ID bana ker larki bun jata hai.

Sep,25 2015
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Fati Dhoti

Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein,
Puja ke liye jhukta hai.
Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar us mein ek sikka daal deti hai.
Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai: Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do.

Sep,24 2015
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किस्मत

पठान ने अमरुद लिए तो उसमें से कीड़ा निकला।
पठान अमरुद वाले से: इसमें तो कीड़ा है।
अमरुद वाला: ये किस्मत की बात है, क्या पता अगली बार
मोटरसाइकिल निकल जाए।
पठान: 2 किलो दे दो।

Sep,24 2015
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एग्जाम

ना वक्त इतना हैं कि सिलेबस पूरा किया जाए,
ना तरकीब कोई की एग्जाम पास किया जाए,
ना जाने कौन सा दर्द दिया है इस पढ़ाई ने,
ना रोया जाय और ना सोया जाए।

Sep,24 2015
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Partnership

LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog,
In partnership with MANFORCE condoms and,
The new punch line: Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.

Sep,23 2015
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Fingerprints

Garmiyon ke mausam mein khoob khelo,
Garmiyon ke mausam mein khoob khelo,
Daya in sab k fingerprints le lo.

Sep,23 2015
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गोदी में

पिंकी बस में अपने बॉयफ्रेंड की
गोदी में बैठी थी।
पिंकी ने कंडक्टर से कहा: बस धीरे चलाओ, झटके बहुत लगते हैं।
कंडक्टर: ओए मैडम, गोदी में से उठकर देख, बस तो कब से खड़ी है?

Sep,16 2015
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Contractor

Beta: Papa, Mujhe Ek Bhai Aur Chahiye, Aaj Aur Abhi.
Papa: Beta, Is Kaam Mein Mahine Lagte Hai.
Beta: Papa, Aap To Contractor Ho, 6 Aadmi Laga Do Jaldi Ho Jayega.

Sep,16 2015
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Unth

Kuch unth uncha, kuch poonch unchi, kuch unchi unth ki poonch.

Sep,14 2015
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Pinku

Kacche ped par pakka papita, pakka ped ya pakka papita, pakke ped ko pakde Pinku, Pinku pakde pakka papita.

Sep,14 2015
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Dali

Dali dali pe najar dali, kisine achchi dali, kisine buri dali, Jis dali pe maine najar dali wohi dali kisine tod dali.

Sep,14 2015
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Lorry

Red lorry, yellow lorry. (x3)

Sep,14 2015
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Fish

Four fine fresh fish for you.

Sep,14 2015
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Sushi

So, this is the sushi chef.

Sep,14 2015
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Quarter

I have got a date at a quarter to eight, I will see you at the gate, so do not be late.

Sep,14 2015
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Shines

Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines.

Sep,14 2015
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Upcoming Movie

Sep,10 2015
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Aasman Me

Aasman Me Itne Tare Ho Ki 
Asma Na Dikhai De
Aap Ki Zindagi Me Itni Khushiya Ho 
Ke Gam Na Dikhai De 
HAVE A NICE DAY

Sep,9 2015
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गुलाब जामुन

मेवालाल (गुस्से में) : वेटर, इस चिकन बिरयानी में चिकन तो है ही नहीं.
वेटर: साहब, गुलाब जामुन में कौन सा गुलाब होता है.
मेवालाल: अरे हां यार, सॉरी.

Sep,8 2015
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Malkin & Naukrani

Sep,7 2015
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