Teacher-Baccho Kabir, Rahim, Mira ka
Koi doha sunao.
Student-Ganga ke ghat pe ghtna ghti
Gambhir, Rahim liye Mira ki pappi or
Pakde gye Kabir.
Girl : Life is Great, main kuchh Bada karna chahahti hu . . . . .
Boy : Pagli , tu sirf Haath me le , bada apne aap ho jaayega..
Kaha kho gaye hai aap,
Ya so gaye hai aap,
Bewafa to lagte nahi the pehle,
Kya ab ho gaye hai aap !!
Girl- Kal spne mein lund ka Mela deka,
Boy- Mera dekha?
Grl- Kone mein chota sa latak rha tha,
Boy- Mene bhi chut ka mela dekha,
Girl- Meri thi?
Boy- Usi mein to mela laga tha!
Teacher: Jawani aur
Budhape me farak batao?
Student: Jawani me mobile me “HASEENO”
k numbers hote hai,
Aur Budhape me “HAKEEMO” ke..!
May this festival of colours bring a smile to ur lips, a twinkle in ur eyes and a cheer in ur voice. Have a colourful Holi!
Me ja ja jovu hu,
Mane tharo chahero dikhto hai,
Ii thaaro kusur nathi,
Salo sab chahero aaj rangeelo hai,
Holi Mubarak!
Problems due to whatsapp short typing.
She asked me: Main kaunsi university main admission lu?
I said: MU mein le le
(Mumbai University)
She is not talking to me anymore.
Patni: Agar Me Kho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge
Pati:Akhbar Me Istehar Dunga
Patni: Tum Kitne Achhe Ho,Kya Likhwaoge
Pati: Jaha b Raho Khush raho
Bhagwan ko gussa kab
aata hai?
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se
pehle pregnant ho jaye,
aur uski maa
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”.
College ka 1st Din,
Boy- Whts ur name?
Grl- Mujhe sab DIDI kahte hai.
Boy- Wow wht a co-incedence
Mujhe sab JIJAJI kehte hai.
1 Ladka, Ladki dekhne gaya
Bahut der se SUSU rok rakha tha
baad mein Ladki se bola
SUSU karne ki jagah dikhao.
Ladki sharmate huye:
PAHLE AAP DIKHAO.
CM To Secratry - Jbse CM Bna Hu Meri Maa Ko Hichki Bahut Aati Hai,
Sectry - Wo To Aayegi Sir State Me Bijli Jate Hi Log Aapki Maa Ko Hi Yad Karte Hai..
Two new words are to be included in oxford dictionary:
1. Gumshuda (n)- state of being physically lost.
2. Shadishuda (n)- state of being physically, mentally and financially lost.
Ek zara si bhool khata ban gayi,
meri wafa hi meri saza ban gayi,
dil liya aur khel kar tod diya usne,
hamari jaan gayi aur unki adaa ban gayi.
Why girls live longer than boys?.
Scientific studies have proved
that 'shopping' never causes HEART ATTACKS,
but 'saying the bills' does!
My life won't be interesting if you're not interested in me.
Be my Valentine!
VALENTINES
Issued in Public Interest by Wives:
On this Valentine's Day, resolve to save nature.
Avoid roses, gift only diamonds.
Happy Valentine's Day!
You're a
V: Vivacious
A: Alluring
L: Likeable
E: Enigmatic
N: Nice
T: Tranquil
I: Incredible
N: Natural and
E: Enchanting person.
I would love to have you as the Valentine of my life!
Getting
L: Love
O: Of your
V: Valentine till
E: Eternity is heavenly.
Thanks for being my Heaven on Earth!
Happy Valentine's Day!
No poems no fancy words
I just want the world to know
that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart.
Happy Valentines Day.
New style of prpose girl!
Dekh me nhi chahta ki mera ldka bda hokr teri ldki ko chede,mujhe bura lgega
Grl- To
Boy-Tu ha bol dono ko bhai-behan bna denge.
Apno Ko Yaad Karna Pyaar Hai,
Gairo Ka Sath Dena Sanskar Hai,
Dusmno Ko Mafe Karna Upkar Hai
Aur Dost Ko Paresan Karna Hamara Jannm Siddh Adhikar Hai......
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?"
Best Ads:
Forest Dept:
Shoot Birds with Camera
Not With Gun..
Latest:
Fly with KINGFISHER
Not on PLANE
But with BEER!
Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
Wah wah
Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
Wah wah
CID ke baad dekhna na bhule aahat!
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling, it means :-
With Idiot For Ever
SHRABI:"Agar mere hath me SARKAR ho to me DESH ki takdir
badal dunga..
.
.
.
.
. .
WIFE:"-pehle apna pajama to badal le, subah se
meri SALVAR pehan k ghum raha hai..:
Mausam Ye Haseen Kehta Hai Pyar Karle Dil Diwana Kehta Hai Ikrar Karle.
Chahat Kehti Hai Izhar Karle.
Par Mummy Kehti Hai Pehle Graduation Tu Pass Karle..?
Attitude Of Girls :
.
.
Jab Ladke Nahi Dekhein To:
Girl : Kutta, Dekhta Bhi Nahi..!!
.
.
.
.
.
Jab Ladke Dekhein To
Girl: Dekh Kaise Kutte Ki Tarah Dekh Raha Hai..!!
8 ghante so jao kr lo pura rest….
8 ghante so jao kr lo pura rest …
acp pradyuman kheta h u r under arrest…
Rajnikant ne Robot film kyu
banayi..?
.
.
.
Kyuki wo dikhana chahta tha ke
aurat sirf aadmi ka hi nahi,
machine ka bhi dimag kharab kar
sakti hai...
Devdas & CID special
Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
Wah wah
Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
ACP ne kaha, Daya ye darwaza tod do
Mera har pal aaj khoobsurat hain,
Dil mein jo sirf teri hi soorat hain,
Kuch bhi kahe ye duniya gum nahi
Duniya se jyada hume teri jarurat h
Agar Duniya mey kuch kar dikhaana hain
toh sunn meri baat..
Haathi ke upar ulta khada
hokar Photo Khichva,
Ab photo ko ulta karke
duniya ko dikha...
Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".
Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".
Lady To Other Lady: What Do U Use For Washing Dishes.? ?
Other Lady: Ohh...! I Tried Many Things But Found My Husband Best.
To sweet friend,
I send Happy Makar Sankranti
Wishes for you with love.
I hope this harvest is the
Best in the whole year and you
Have lots of grains to earn profits.
Happy Makar Sankranti Friends
What Is That Bright Light?
From Where Does This Fragrance
Coming? This Gentle Breeze,
Cool Air Hearty Music,
Oh! Its Sankranthi, Wish You A
Very Happy Makar Sankranti.
Suraj Ki Rashi Badlegi, Kuch
Ka Naseeb Badlega, Ye Saal
Ka Pehla Parv Hoga Jab Hum
Sab Mil Khushiya Manayege.
Happy Makar Sakranti Friends.
Patni: Agar main waqt hoti to log meri kitni kadar karte!
Pati: Log tumhe dekh ke dar jate!
Patni: Kyun?
Pati: Log kehte ki dekho bura waqt aa raha hai!
Bhula Ke Mujhko Agar Tum Bhi Ho Salamat
To Bhula Ke Tujhko, Sambhalna Mujhe Bhi Aata Hai
Nahi Hai Meri Fitrat Mein Ye Aadat Warna
Teri Tarah Badalna Mujhe Bhi Aata Hai.
Raho meri zulfon ki parchhayi mein
Aur toot kar mujhko pyaar karo….
Aaj mai mai na rahu, aj mai “tum” ho jau
Apne pyaar se aisa mera shringaar karo
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
Santa Ne Train Mein Ek Gori Mam Ka Rape Kar Diya.
Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Court Mein Usko Pesh Kiya Gaya.
Judge: “Tumne Is Bechari Aurat Ke Sath Rape Kyu Kiya?”
Santa: “Ji Maine To Iska Naam Pucha Thha, Ye Boli Marry Marlow, Bas Fir Kya Thha Mene Mar Li“
Tanhaayi Mere Dil Mein Samaati Chali Gayi,
Kismat Bhi Apna khel Dikhaati Chali Gayi,
Mehki Fizaa Mein Dekha Jo pyaar ko,
Bus Yaad Kisi ki Aayi Aur Rulaati Chali Gayi..
Bivi k thappad marne k bad pati bola Admi use hi marta h jise vo pyar karta h.
Bivi ne bhi 2khich k mari or boli-Aap kya samjte h mai apse pyar nahi karti.
Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the. Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, “Aakhir hum paanchon ne road cross karliya”.
Paanch kaise?
.
.
Socho Socho …
.
Kaise Hua?
.
.
Aur Jara Socho
.
.
Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai.