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Sanjjana's Joke
Kutte Jaisi

Santa :Yaar Tumahara Kutta Adami Ki Tarah Lagta Hai
Kaya Kihilate Ho Isko
Banta : Ye Toh Mera Beta Hai Kutta Nai Ca Kar Reha Hai
Aur Exam Chal Rahe Hai Isliye Iski Shakal Kutte Jaisi Ho Gai hai

Dec,7 2015
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Our Reflection

Friends are like Mirrors,
They are our Reflection.
You are Damn Lucky,
Because I Look So Good.

Dec,4 2015
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पानी पिलाया है

पप्पू की गाँव के पहलवान से लड़ाई हो गयी,
पहलवान : मैं तेरी चटनी बना दूंगा,
पप्पू : अबे जा , मैंने अच्छे अच्छों को पानी पिलाया है,
पहलवान हैरानी से : कैसे ?
पप्पू : मैं होटल में वेटर हूँ

Nov,30 2015
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Own Death

In 2007, an American man named Corey Taylor tried to fake his own death in,
Order to get out of his cell phone contract without paying a fee. It didn’t work.

Nov,27 2015
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Never Use

Sweta: My grandmother lived for 80 years, but she never used glasses.
Kapil: Meri dadi bhi bottle se direct peti hai.

Nov,25 2015
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Dil Ki Baat

Ladkiyon Se Pehle Dosti Karo Baad Me
Unse Apne Dil Ki Baat Kahna,
Pyar Ke Mamle Me Patience Se Kaam Le.

Nov,23 2015
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Ehsas Kaise Hoga

Dil Mein Ho Aap To Koi Aur Khaas Kaise Hoga,
Yaadon Mein Aapke Siva Koi Pass Kaise Hoga,
Hichkiyan Kehti Hain Aap Yaad Karte Ho,
Par Bologe Nahi To Humein Ehsas Kaise Hoga.

Nov,20 2015
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Got it

BOSS in office: Okay guys, today we are going to play a game.
When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right side of the hal.
And when I say any color, you run to the left side of the hall.
One who runs on wrong side will not get the increment.
Got it?
Employees: Yes Boss, Got it.
Boss: Okay Ready, Set.
ORANGE.
Employees:??

Nov,18 2015
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Positive Action

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.

Nov,18 2015
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Maximum Number

Aamir Khan Lagaan had the maximum number of British actors
Ever to be cast in a single movie in the history of Bollywood cinema.

Nov,18 2015
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10 Lines

Lady Teacher ne MY TEACHER par 10 lines likhne ko kaha.
Thodi der bad golu ne uthkar pucha: Madam,
MAST CHHAMIYA ko english me kya kahte hain?

Nov,18 2015
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Night And Day.

The brightest stars in my life are not planetary objects,
They are friends like you who shine through night and day.
Good night.

Nov,17 2015
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Hospital Ki Sister Se Love

Munaa bhai: A circuit yaar mere ko woh Hospital ki sister(nurse) se love ho gayala hai.
Love letter kaise likhu?
Circuit: Simple bhai aap like dalo I love you sister I am your munna bhai.

Nov,11 2015
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Raj Kapoor

Raj Kapoor Mera Naam Joker was the first Hindi movie ,
To have not one but two intervals.

Nov,9 2015
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Achi Tarah Se

Wife pati se boli: Dekho G Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss Wiss na kiya karo.
Tabhi Kaamwali Boli: Maidam achi Tarah se Samjha do, Mai to bol bol ke Thak Gayi.

Nov,9 2015
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Khaas Baat

Shamaa bani to parwaane bane,
Jaam bana to maikhaane bane,
Kuchh to khaas baat hai bittu sharma teri family mein,
Warna yun hi nahin shehar mein Pagalkhaane bane.

Nov,7 2015
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Pahli Bar

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs.
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha.

Nov,3 2015
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Darwaja Tod Diya

Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya.
Gor Frmaiye.
Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya.
Acp Tha Toilet Me Or
Daya Ne Darwaja Tod Diya.

Oct,28 2015
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JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!

College ke first day;
Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai?
Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai..
Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!

Oct,27 2015
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Dil Ne Chaha

Dil Ne Chaha Tha Ki Chand Ke Har Tukde Par Tera Naam Likh Du,
Magar Kambakhat Ye Khyal Hi Amavas Ki Raat Ko Aya.

Oct,26 2015
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डॉक्टर की दवा

पप्पू ने खाना खाने के बाद 2 चम्मच उठकर जेब में डाल ली,
वेटर: अरे साहब, आप ये चम्मच किससे पूछ कर ले रहे हैं?
पप्पू: डॉक्टर से पूछ के,
वेटर: मतलब,
पप्पू: देखो डॉक्टर ने दवा की शीशी दी है,
इसपे लिखा है, खाने के बाद 2 चम्मच ले लें,
वेटर बेहोश.

Oct,24 2015
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Nayi Soch

Pahli bar Jija shadi k baad sasural aaya, biwi ki choti bahen khidki se dekh ke boli-Lo aa gaya Bh*nch*d.
Maa: Aisa nahi kehte.
Wo boli: Rishta vahi, soch nayi.

Oct,20 2015
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Mehngi Jagah

Wife: Mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumne le chalo.
Kapil: Chalo tyaar ho jayo petro pump chalte hai.

Oct,19 2015
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चौकीदार

इंजीनिरिंग का फार्म भरते हुए छात्र ने पास खड़े चौकीदार से पूंछा: कैसा है ये कोलेज?
चौकीदार : बहुत बढ़िया है,
हमने भी यहीं से इन्जिनारिंग की है.

Oct,17 2015
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Kabar

Meri kabar pe rone mat aana,
Mujhe pyaar hai ye kehne mat aana,
Main duniya main hoon tab tak satao mujko,
Jab main so jao to jagane mat aana.

Oct,17 2015
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Badtameez Pappu

Teacher Pappu Se Tang Aake Ek Din Usko Class Mein Khada Karva Ke Boli.
Teacher: Pappu Tum Bahut Badtameez Hote Ja Rahe Ho, Batao Kya Saja Dun Tumhein?
Pappu Piche Ki Taraf Dekh Kar Teacher Se Bola.
Pappu: Mam, Wo Ladki Jo 2nd Last Seat Pe Bethi Hai Na, Uske Sath Bathroom Mein Band Kar Do.

Oct,17 2015
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पार्टी वेयर

कंजूस बंता ​अंडरवेयर खरीदने के लिए मार्केट जाता है.
एक पीस देखकर पूछता है, यह कितने का है?
दुकानदारः जी, 500 रुपए का.
कंजूस बंताः अरे भाई, डेली वेयर दिखाओ, पार्टी वेयर नहीं.

Oct,14 2015
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Education

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth.

Oct,13 2015
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Ehsaas

Tera Intezaar Mujhe Har Pal Rehta Hai,
Har Lamha Mujhe Tera Ehsaas Rehta Hai,
Tujh Bin Dhadkane Rukk Si Jaati Hai,
Ki Tu Mere Dil Me Meri Dhadkan Banke Rehta Hai.

Oct,8 2015
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NIPPAL

Jale hue boobs lekar Sardarni hospital me admit hui.
Dr: Kaise jal gaye.
Sardarni: KAMINE Tune hi to kaha tha,
Bacche ko dudh pilane se pehle,
NIPPAL UBAL lena.

Oct,7 2015
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Masjid

Larka: Aik larki ko cherte huwe kahta hai k Jan E Man is dil mai a jao.
Larki: Sandil utaroo kia?
Larka: Jan E Man ye dil hai koi masjid nahi sandil pahan kar hi ajao.

Oct,7 2015
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Chopstick

Rajnikant can eat Dosa with chopsticks.

Oct,1 2015
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Nafrat

Jab Aap Kisi Se Rooth Kar Nafrat Se Baat Karo,
Aur Woh Uska Jawab Mohabbat Se De,
To Samajh Jana Ki Wo,
Tumhari Gaand Maarne Ke Chakkar Main Hai.

Sep,25 2015
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Technique

Avoid the A frame while kissing. Even if you are kissing her with great technique a girl will not enjoy it as much if your hips are miles apart. Stand close to her even if it is your first kiss.

Sep,23 2015
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Jungle

Aaj kal 2 chezain sirf qismat waloonko milty hain,
1 Jungle main ghomta huwa white hathi.
2 Without affairs wala Jeevan sathi.

Sep,19 2015
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Sherni

Ek aadmi ek khatarnaak Sherni khareed kar ghar le aaya.
Padosiyon ne poochha: Bhaai ye sherni kyon le aaye?
Aadmi ne udaas swar me bataaya: LAST MONTH meri WIFE gujar gai naa,
Toh ab uske bina ghar badaa soona soona lagta hai mujhe.

Sep,18 2015
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Chabutre Par

Chacha ke chaure chabutre par,
Cheel ne chuhe ko chonch se chabaa daala.

Sep,14 2015
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Alex

Of all the vids I’ve ever viewed, I’ve never viewed a vid as valued as Alex’s engVid vid.

Sep,14 2015
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Canner

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

Sep,14 2015
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Anjaan Ki Tarah

Anjaan Ki Tarah Mile Aur Ulfat Ho Gayi
Ajnabi Dost Aise Mile Ki Dosti Ho Gayi
Sacchi Dosti Ka Irada Tha Unse,
Par Hume Unse Sachi Mohabbat Ho Gyi.

 

Sep,10 2015
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Malkin & Naukarani

Sep,10 2015
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Gol Hun Par

Gol Hun Par Gend Nahi
Kanch Hu Par Darpan Nahi
Roshani Deta Hu Par Suraj Nahi
Mein Hun Ek Anmol Anokha Bolo Mein Kon Hun
Ans. Balb

Sep,9 2015
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Dam Niklay

Hazaroon Bachiyan Aisi K Har Bachi Pe Dam Niklay.
Par Jis Bachi Pe Dam Niklay Woe Ghar Se Kam Niklay.

Sep,9 2015
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Saheli Ki Saheli

Meri taref se apko 1 PuPPI.
Aapki saheli ko 1 PAPPI.
Saheli ki saheli ko 1 PuPPI.
Batau bhala kiun?
Aaj hi mere Doggy ne,
10 PuPPI ko janam de hai.

Sep,9 2015
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Embrace Hema

During the making of Sholay, Dharmendra paid the light boys to make mistakes during shots, so that he could embrace Hema Malini again and again.

Sep,4 2015
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Student Shayari

Aasma mein kaali ghata ch h,
Aaj fir principal se mar kh h,
Sab kehte h sudhar ja,
Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban k aayi h.

Sep,3 2015
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Train Bhi Purani Hai

Sep,2 2015
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बुढ़िया गुस्से में

सेक्स करते वक्त एक बूढ़ा अपनी पत्नी से बोला: टाइट कर, टाइट कर।
बुढ़िया गुस्से में बोली: जो है उसी में खुश रहना सीखो।
क्या आज तक मैंने कभी कहा है कि बड़ा कर या 'खड़ा' कर।

Sep,1 2015
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अच्छा लगता है

पत्नी ( पति से) देखो जी, अगर तुम मेरे साथ नही चलोगे, तो मै भी शोपिंग के लिए नही जाऊगी।
क्या तुम्हे मेरे साथ जाना इतना अच्छा लगता है पति ने खुश हो कर कहा ।
अच्छा-वच्छा कुछ नही, पत्नी ने मुँह बनाते हुए कहा, सामान ऊठाने वाला भी तो कोई होना चाहिए।

Sep,1 2015
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Keep Thinking

Never Thought.
It would be so hard,
Staying away from U,
I keep thinking of us,
Together again,
I Miss U.

Aug,31 2015
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