एक आदमी ने मुझसे पूछा …. भाई साहब जूते कहा मिलेंगे.
मैंने कहा….हर जगह मिल सकते हैं बस अपने में गुण होने चाहिए
कुछ लड़किया इतनी अच्छी होती है
की वो सम भाव से सब लड़कों पर लाईन मारती है
बिलकुल निष्काम भाव से निष्पक्ष होकर
जब किसी लड़के का बदलाव 'पागल' से 'पगले' में हो जाता है,
तो समझ लेना चाहिए की मामला सेट है उसका
संता: मेरी बीवी बहुत खर्चीली है, वह रोज-रोज 5,000 रुपए मांगती है।
बंता: इतने पैसे का वह करती क्या हैं? संता: क्या पता, मैंने तो कभी दिए भी नहीं
Tumhari Yaad Dil Se Jaane Nahi Denge,
Tumhare Jaisa Dost Khone Bhi Nahi Denge,
Roz Sharafat Se Sms Kiya Karo Warna,
Ek Kaan Ke Neeche Denge Or Rone Bhi Nahi Denge.
Teacher : Sach Aur Veham Me Kya Fark Hai?
Student : Aap Sexy Ho Ye Sach Hai
Hamara Khada Nhi Hota Ye Apka Vehem Hai
Husband: Mera Andaza Hai Ki Is Dibee Mein Khane Ke Liye Koi Cheej Hai
Wife : Are Wah Mere Pati Parmeshwar
App Ne Bilkul Sahi Gess Kya Ismein Mere Sandals Hai
Chah Kar Bhi Juda Na Reh Sakoge.
Ruthkar Bhi khafa Na Reh Sakoge
Ham Riste Hi kuch Aisi Nibhayege.
Ki Aap Hamare Bina Ek Pal Bi Na Reh Sakoge
Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe,
Wo Teri Yaad Mein,
Wo Saare Padh Liye,
Papa Ne Raat Mein. Sawera Jab Hua Toh Joote Pad Gaye,
Wo Raadhe Waale Baal Ghajini Mein Badal Gaye.
वो दिल क्या जो मिलने की दुआ न करे,
तुम्हें भुलकर जिऊ यह खुदा न करे,
रहे तेरी दोस्ती मेरी जिन्दगानी बनकर,
यह बात और है जिन्दगी वफा न करे
संता पैराशूट बेच रहा था हवाई जहाज से कूदो,
बटन दबाओ और जमीन पर सुरक्षित पहुंच जाओ
ग्राहक: अगर पैराशूट नहीं खुला तो
संता: तो पैसे वापिस
Ek Lady Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Pucha:
Doctor Saab, Sex Ke Liye Konsa Time Sahi Hai
Doctor : Dophar 2 Se 4 Baje Tak
Lad: Wo Kyun,
Doctor : Kyunki Us Waqt Compouder Nahi Hota
सेक्स के वक़्त मर्द की ताक़त का अंदाज़
उसके हिलते हुए हिप्स से नहीं
बल्कि लड़की के
उछलते हुए बूब्स से होता है
Girl : Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho
Boy : Ha
Girl : To Phir Mujhe Chand Tare Duniya Ki Sari Daulat Khushiya Do
Boy : Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta Nahi.
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon.
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupiya Leti Hai.
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Lucky Hai, Auron Se Toh Woh 5 Rupiya Leti Hai.
Santa Ke Bete Ka Accident Ho Gaya. Dr.: Apke Bete Ke Dono Leg Katne Padenge. Santa Ne Apna Sar Pakad Liya. Dr.: Kya Hua? Santa: Kal Hi Nalayak Ko Nayi Chappal Dilayi Thi.
Rajnikant Ne Vidya Balan Ko Cycle Pe Aage Bithaya
Vidya: Rajni Mujhe Dekh Ke Apka Khada Ni Hota?
Rajnknt: Pagli Ye Ladies Cycle Hai.
Pata Hai Tu Kis Pe Baiti Hai
Kabhi Kisi Ladki Se Fon Number Mang Kar Dekho.
Dene Ko To De Degi,
Lekin React Aisa Karegi Jaise Unki Ek Kidney Mang Li Ho.
Rajinikanth Doesn't Need A Visa To Travel Abroad,
He Just Jumps From The Tallest Building In Chennai
And Holds Himself In The Air While The Earth Rotates.
Why Did Obama Come To India,
To Receive The Payment Of Nasa's Rocket
He Sold To Rajnikant.
When Rajnikant Was In School Someone Stole His Rough Book Of English .
And Now That Book Is Known As Oxford Dictionary
Jitni Bhi Ladkiyan Tumhe Dikhein,
Chahe Wo Tumhari Friend List Mein Hon Ya Nahi,
Har Ek Ko Poke Kar Daalo,
Jiska-Jiska Poke Waapas Aaya Samjho Waha Smbhavna Poori Hai.
Sitaro Me Aap, Hawao Me Aap, Fizao Me Aap,
Baharo Me Aap, Dhop Me Aap, Chaaon Me Aap,
Sach Hi Suna Hai Ki Buri Aatmao Ka Koi Thikana Nahi Hota
Santa: Dekh Teri Biwi Ko Saap Kaat Raha Hai.
Banta: Chinta Mat Kar Yaar, Kuch Nahi Hota,
Saap Ka Zehar Khatam Ho Gaya Hai, Recharge Kawane Aaya Hhoga.
रोजर फेडरर: मुझे टेनिस के बारे में बहुत नोलेज है कोई भी मुझसे कुछ भी पूछ सकता है.
रजनीकांत: ओके, अच्छा ये बताओ नेट में कितने छेद होते हैं.
Rajinikanth Woke Up One Day And Decided
He Would Share One Per Cent Of His Knowledge With The World.
Thus Wikipedia Was Born
Ishq Tujhse Karti Hoon Main Zindagi Se Zyada,
Main Darti Nahi Maut Se Teri Judaai Se Zyada,
Chahe To Azmale Mujhe Kisi Aur Se Zyada,
Meri Zindagi Mein kuch Nahi Teri Mohabbat Se zyada.
Teacher: Galti Hone Pe Maafi Magne Wale Ko Kya Kahte Hai?
Stud: Samajhdar
Teacher: Aur Galti Na Hone Pe Bhi Mafi Mangne Waale Ko Kya Kahte Hai?
Stud: Boyfriend
Santa :Yaar Tumahara Kutta Adami Ki Tarah Lagta Hai
Kaya Kihilate Ho Isko
Banta : Ye Toh Mera Beta Hai Kutta Nai Ca Kar Reha Hai
Aur Exam Chal Rahe Hai Isliye Iski Shakal Kutte Jaisi Ho Gai hai
Friends are like Mirrors,
They are our Reflection.
You are Damn Lucky,
Because I Look So Good.
In 2007, an American man named Corey Taylor tried to fake his own death in,
Order to get out of his cell phone contract without paying a fee. It didn’t work.
Sweta: My grandmother lived for 80 years, but she never used glasses.
Kapil: Meri dadi bhi bottle se direct peti hai.
Ladkiyon Se Pehle Dosti Karo Baad Me
Unse Apne Dil Ki Baat Kahna,
Pyar Ke Mamle Me Patience Se Kaam Le.
Dil Mein Ho Aap To Koi Aur Khaas Kaise Hoga,
Yaadon Mein Aapke Siva Koi Pass Kaise Hoga,
Hichkiyan Kehti Hain Aap Yaad Karte Ho,
Par Bologe Nahi To Humein Ehsas Kaise Hoga.
BOSS in office: Okay guys, today we are going to play a game.
When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right side of the hal.
And when I say any color, you run to the left side of the hall.
One who runs on wrong side will not get the increment.
Got it?
Employees: Yes Boss, Got it.
Boss: Okay Ready, Set.
ORANGE.
Employees:??
In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.
Aamir Khan Lagaan had the maximum number of British actors
Ever to be cast in a single movie in the history of Bollywood cinema.