Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?
Banta: Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.
Teacher: Bacho 2 October ke din kya hua tha?
Student: Ajay Devgan apni family ko lekar,
Satsang ke liye panjhi gaya tha,
Aur 3 oct ko vapas lauta tha.
Santa: Ek Kunwari Ladki Niche Khadi Hai Ko English me Kis Tarah kahoge?
Banta: Boss, Malum Nahi.
Santa: Are Bewakoof Itna bhi Nahi Jantey Miss Under Standing (Misunderstanding).
Dosti Karo To Hamesha Muskra K,
Kisi Ko Dhoka na Do Apna Bana K,
Kar lo yaad Jab Tak Hum Zinda hai,
Fir na Kehna Chale Gaye Dil Me Yade basa ke.
Agar Wo Koi Khaas Type Ke Book Read Karne Ki
Shaukin Ho To Aap Use Wo Book Gift Kare.
Wo Aapse Jarur Impress Hongi Aur Aap Unhe Easily Pata Lenge.
Guthi: Lambi Umar Jeene Ke Liye Kya Trick Hai?
Kapil: Shadi Kar Lo Iske 2 Fayade Honge.
Lambi Zindagi Jeene Ki Ichha Hi Khatam Ho Jayegi
Aur Bachi Hui Umar Bhi Lambi Lagne Lage Gi.
Student: I luv u Mam.
Mam: Tameez se baat karo.
Student: OK.
With due to respect I beg
To say dat I luv u Darling.
Even people in highly technical jobs work in teams for much of the time,
They need to get on with people and get them to cooperate to get the job done.
Attitude plays a key role in your interview success.
There is a fine balance between confidence,
professionalism and modesty.
Even if you are putting on a performance to demonstrate your ability,
overconfidence is as bad, if not worse, as being too reserved.
Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar Kya H?
Banta: 100%.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Jo Paida Hota H, Wo Mar Hi Jata H.
Ja Rahe Hum marne aj man udas hai,
Yaad nai kiya usne jiski muje aas hai Muje,
Bhul Gye wo jo sabse khas hai,
Chalo ab msg kro upar likha sab bakwaas hai.
Ladka: Shadi ke liye kaon se date rahe?
Ladki: Hichkichate hue, 22 December.
Laka:Kyon?
Ladki sharmate hue: Suna hai saal ki sabse lambi raat hote hai.
Duriya Hote Hue Bhi Safar Vahi Rahega,
Door Hote Hue Bhi Dostana Vahi Rahega,
Bahot Mushkil Hai Yeh Safar Zindgi Ka,
Agar Aapka Sath Hoga To Ehsaas Vahi Rahega.
Sri ram ji aapke ghar sukh ki barsat karen,
Dukhon ka naas karen.
Prem ki phuljhari wa anar aapke ghar ko roshan kare.
Roshni ke diye aapki zindagi me khusiya layen.
Happy deepawali
Teacher: What Hppened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was Born.
Teacher: What Happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was Four Years Old.
Husband:Rat Ko Mene 1 Horror Movie Dekhi,
1 Chudeil Kabhi Mere Age Kabhi Piche Aur Kabhi Sath Chal Rahi Thi,
Wife:Kaun Si Movie Thi?
Husband:Apni Shadi ki.
Kapil: Tere baap ki jale par namak chidkne ki aadat gayi nahi na?
Wife: Kyu? ab kya hua?
Kapil: Aaj phir se phuch raha tha Meri beti se shaadi karke khush toh ho na?
Ladka Ladki Se: Ladkiyan Saraab Se Itni Nafrat Kyon Karti Hai?
Ladki: Kyonki Saraab Pine Ke Baad Unke Chuhen Jase Pati Sher Jesa Bartaav Karke Dahaadne Lagte Hai.
Wo Mohabbtein Jo Tumhare Dil Mein Hain,
Usse Zubaan Par Lao Aur Bayan Kar Do,
Aaj Bas Tum Kaho Aur Kehte Hi Jao,
Hum Bas Sunein Aise Be Zuban Kar Do.
Throughout the interview, make sure you make eye contact with your interviewer. It is OK if you have to refer to notes, or read something, but be conscious of where your eyes are focusing, and meet your interviewers eyes as much as possible.
Ladke Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Rat Ko Kamre Mein Gaya Aur Dulhan Ka Ghungat Utha Ke Uska Chehra Dekh Ke Bola.
Dulha: Tum Itni Sunder Ho, Samajh Mein Nahi Aata Tumhe Kya Kahu?
Bahar Khada Uska Baap Sun Raha Tha, Ye Sun Ke Wo Bola.
Baap: Beta Bas Tu Use Ek Baar Maa Kah de, Baki Mein Dekh Lunga.
Girl: Do u have a girlfriend?
Man: Yes who r u?
Girl: Your wife jaldi ghar aa kaminey.
Husband Bangkok Trip Par Gaya Hua Thha, Bahut Dino Tak Wapis Nahi Lauta.
Wife Ne Usko Email Kari Jismein Usmein Likha Thha.
Darling, Waha Tum Jo Chhez Kharid Rahe Ho, Kya Mein Wo Yaha Bechna Shuru Kardu?
Aur Pati Dusre Din Vapis Ghar Mein Thha.
Girlfriend: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai.
Rajni: Ok.
Next day,
Girlfriend: Hey where the hell is My Shadow?
Suna Hai Khuda Ke Darbar Se.
Kuch Farishtey Faraar Ho Gaye.
Kuch to Vaapas Chale Gaye.
Aur Kuch Humare Yaar Ho Gaye.
Gadha jo khaye wo ghaas ho tum,
Budhe aadmi ka chavanprash ho tum,
Idiot, stupid, bakvaas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho yaar, dost to jhakaas ho tum.
Kuch to baat hai tujme jo tujhe yaad krne ko ji chahta hai,
Kuch khas hai jo tujhe bahon me bharne ko ji chahta hai,
Hum tere kareeb hai ya nhi ye jante nhi hai magar dilbar,
Fir bhi mohabbat mein hadd se guzarne ko ji chahta hain.
Arjun: Main Chidiya Ki Aankh Fod Sakta Hoon.
Rajni Kant: Main Chidiya Ki Aankh Ki Retina Ke Blood Vessels Ke R.B.C Ke Haemoglobin Ke Protein Ke Sixth Amino Acid Ke Hydrogen Bond Ko Fod Sakta Hoon.
Arjun: Guru Ji, Aap To Serious Ho Gaye, Mene To Majak Mein Bola Tha.
पत्नी:- मै घर छोड़ कर जा रही हु
पति:- मै भी निर्मल बाबा के पास जा रहा हु
पत्नी:- मुझे मागने के लिए
पति:- नही बताने के लिए की कृपा आनी शुरू हो गयी है
MANDIR 6 Words, MASJID 6 Words, CHURCH 6 Words
&
GEETA 5Words, QURAN 5 Words, BIBLE 5 Words.
They All says, THE SAME 6-5=1.
GOD IS ONE.
Kaash koyi hum par bhi itna pyaar jatati,
Piche se aakar wo hamari ankho ko chupati,
Hum puchhte ki kaun ho tum?
Aur wo has kar khudko hamari jaan batati.
Learn what she likes and encourage her to discuss the subjects that she feels passionate about.
Rajnikant: Kuch to,
Rehem karo kamino,
Ab Ye Kisne Likha Ki Rajni Jab Chawal Khata Hai.
To Uske bum Se Idli Nikalti Hai.
Sometimes My eyes get jealous of my Heart,
You Know Why?
Because.
You Always Remain close to my HEART,
N far from my EYES.
Baap Apne Bete Ko Samjhate Hue,
Baap: Beta Chhod De Ye Facebook, Ye Tujhe Roti Nahi Dene Wali.
Beta Muskura Ke Apne Baap Ko En Aankh Marte Hue Bola,
Just Chill Dad, Mana Ki Facebook Mujhe Roti Nahi Degi, Lekin Roti Banane Wali To Yahin Se Aayegi.
Santa Ne Bijli Office Phone Kara Aur Jaldi Se Bola.
Jaldi Se Model Town Ki Light Kaat Do.
Bijli Wala Hairani Se: Kyu Sir?
Santa: Wo Yaar Mere Dimag Mein Ek Nayi Mast Wali Gaali Aayi Hai, Wo Tumko Deni Hai.
When you walk over to start your conversation with her, don’t make her feel threatened by getting too close to her, or acting as if she is going to be stuck talking to you for hours.
When you interview with the please, please hire me approach, you appear desperate and less confident.
BREAKUPS Are not Always,
Meant To Make Up,
Sometimes They Happen To,
Give You A Chance To WAKE UP.
Tum Isa Karoge To Koina Koi Tumhe Dekhta Rahega Matlab vo Tum Se Pyar Karne Lagega.
Tum Agar Sexy Dikhati Ho To Tum Jisse Pyar Karti Ho Uske Samne Jakar Baith Jao