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Rehan's Joke
Zindagi Kaa Kaam

Hasna Zindagi Kaa Kaam Nahi Naam Hai Yaaro .
Hasna Zindagi Kaa Kaam Nahi Naam Hai Yaaro
ACP Pradyuman bole Daya se
Pura ghar theek se chaan maaro.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Admission

Girl: Tum Kya Karte ho?
Boy: Bahut Bade College Mein Logo Ka Admission Karwata Hun.
Girl: Kaun Se College?
Boy: IIN Recharge Ki Dukan Hai Apni.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kiss

This year, I want to be kissed in the rain by him.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Touch her regularly and on the spur of the moment.

Even the slightest touch can make a woman feel special. Make sure it's a respectful and gentle touch, and not one that's overly sexual or suggestive.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Indian Railways

The total distance covered by the 14,300 trains on the Indian Railways everyday, equals three & half times the distance to moon

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Reminding Them

In this world everybody makes mistakes...
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Night Whisper

The sun has gone to bed,
The stars rule the skies.
May the gentle breeze of the night whisper
sweet scripts to u and gently nudge Ur eyes 2 sleep.
Good Night and sweet dreams.

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Auraton Ka Diwana

Girl to Boy: Kya shaadi k baad bi
tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Boy: Kyon nahin?
Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shekhar Kapur

Shekhar Kapur was originally engaged to be married to Shabana Azmi but it didn't work out.

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Papa Bhi Vahan The
एक लड़का रात को देर से घर लौटा।

मां ने पूछा: कहां से आ रहा है ?

लड़का:  कैबरा  डांस देखने गया था।

मां:  हे भगवान् ! तुमने कोई ऐसी चीज तो नहीं देख ली जो तुमको नहीं देखनी चाहिए थी।

लड़का: हां मैंने देखी थी। मां: ” क्या देखा ?”

लड़का: ” यही कि पापा भी वहीं पर थे “।
May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Izazat De Do

Chand sa chehra dekhne ki ijazat de do,
Mujhe yeh sham sajane ke ijazat de do,
Mujhe qaid kar lo apne ishq mein
Ya fir Mujhe ishq karne ke ijazat de do…


May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Changing BatteryOf Camera

In an African Safari A LION suddenly bounced on Ramu wife.
WIFE-Shoot him Shoot him
Ramu-Yes Yes.I Am changing d battery of my camera.

May,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Achhi Nurse

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

May,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Solid Insult

Husband Apni Saas Se Baat Karta Hai
Aapki Beti Mein To Hazaron Kamiyan Hain.

Saas: Haan Beta, Isi Vajah Se to Use Achcha Ladka Nahi Mila.

May,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Height of Embarrassment

Height of Embarrassment
Man sitting with his wife in park,
Another lady comes to his wife and says
Paise pehle le lena
Ye admi bad me Bahut lafda krta hai

May,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Khud Hil Lunga

Prosti :" 200 rupay loongi! , hil- hil ke doongi. " 
Client :" 100 rupay doonga, hil main khud loonga.

May,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Longest Toilet

Which is longest toilet in d world.

Ans: Indian Railway Track
U can use it frm kashmir 2 kanya-kumari.
Aaisi aazadi aur kahan. 

May,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Chocolate

Sala girlfriend banane k baad pata Chala ki 30 rupay se jyada ki bhi chocolate aati hai.

May,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wife Ke Liye Ya Branded

Only a Man understands another Man..

Customer- I want to buy a Ladies Watch

Shopkeeper- Sir, wife ke liye chahiye ya Branded dikhaun.. 

May,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mushkile khatam

Biwi ne namaaz padhkar dua ke liye haath uthaye, par kuchh nahin manga aur haath neeche kar liye!
Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..
“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”
Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”
Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
kaam zaroori hai

Main: Hello bhai kya haal hai?
Dost: Mast bhai, tu suna?
Main: Yaar ek kaam tha….
Dost: Haan to karle, baad mein baat kar liyo, kaam zaroori hai

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Study Improve Kare

Intelligent Ladko Se Ladkiyan Impress Hoti Hai Issliye Aap Apni Study Improve Karke Ladkiyon Ko Impress Kar Sakte Hai.

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pregnant Prostitute

Economics teacher: Give an example of complete business failure due to carelessness.
Student: A pregnant prostitute.

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Collage Classroom

Lecture in a medical college classroom: "man's sperms contains gluvose"1 of the female student had genuine doubt and ask then y its doesn't taste sweet???

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Plastic Surgery

Gf : kaisi lagg rahi hu mai? 
Bf : bohot sundar tumhe makeup ki koi zaroorat nahi hai.. 
Gf : sachhi
Bf : haa.. actually tumhe plastic surgery ki jaroorat hai..!! 

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Lunch And Dinner

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Depth Of Mine.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cat In Hospital

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
T-shirt quotes

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
U r ULLU

U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ……
U r ULLU !!!

May,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mast Shayri

Maar chaddapa bed wich aaja, kacchi la ke bund dikhaja, 
Ni kudiye raand diye.... 
Kodi hokay lun pawaja kudiye raand diye.

May,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
VICKS INHALER

What is the long thing that has a hole at the tip & being 
inserted 
into a deep, slimy hairy hole 
and can make u feel better ?

VICKS INHALER ! 

May,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Self Control
A TRUE FACT- People smoke and drink for a few days & get addicted to it.. We r studying since birth.. But still we r not addicted to studying that’s called Self Control
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
A vase
A sardar gave 36 roses to his gf, who thrilled, undresses lies down spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses." Sardar:" why cant you find a vase."
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
कुत्ते की नज़र!

यो बात सै म्हारे एक ताऊ की, हुआ नु के एक बै ताऊ पैदल आपणे गांव जावै था।

रास्ते में उसके जूते पाँ में काटण लाग गये।

ताऊ नै जूतियां आपणी लाठी पै टांग ली।

गांम के एक छोरे नै मजाक करण की सुझी अर बोल्या,
"ताऊ, परांठे बहुत दूर टांग राखे सै।"

ताऊ भी कोई कम ना था। ताऊ बोल्या,
"भाई खाण-पीण की चीज़ कहीं भी टांग ल्यो, सुसरे कुत्ते की निगाह वहीं चली जा सै।"

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सबसे ज्यादा गर्म!

एक NRI हिंदुस्तान घूमने आया। आते ही उसकी पुराने यादें ताज़ा हो गई। उसने एक ढाबे पे कटींग चाय मंगवाई। तो वहां एक छोटे लड़के ने उसको गिलास में एक उंगली अंदर डालके चाय दी।

NRI (चाय पीते पीते): तुम लोग कब सुधरोगे? चाय इस तरह नही पकडते।

लड़का: साहब, उंगली में दर्द है, डॉक्टर ने सेंकने के लिये कहा है।

NRI: तो मादरचोद, गांड में क्यो नही रखी उंगली, वहाँ सबसे ज्यादा सेंक मिलेगा।

लड़का: साहब, वहीं थी, आपने चाय मंगवाई तो निकालनी पडी।

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
महंगा मशवरा!

एक पार्टी में एक वकील की पत्नी एक डॉक्टर से अपना रोना रो रही थी
कि उसका पति बहुत दफा पार्टियों में उसके साथ जाने से मना कर देता है,
क्योंकि वहाँ लोग उससे सलाह-मशवरा पूछ-पूछ कर उसकी शाम ख़राब कर देते हैं।

"क्या आपके साथ भी ऐसा होता है?" महिला ने पूछा।

डॉक्टर: हाँ, हमेशा।

महिला: तो आप उनसे कैसे बचते हैं?

डॉक्टर: मेरे पास बहुत अच्छा आईडिया है।

महिला: वो क्या?

डॉक्टर: जो मुझसे अपनी बीमारी के बारे में पूछते हैं या बात करते हैं,
मैं उन्हें एक सुनसान कोने में ले जाकर कहता हूँ कि अपने कपडे उतारो!

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Behen Bhai Ban Jaeen Gay

Kon kehta hai pyaar may pakray jaeen gay?
Waqt aanay per behen bhai ban jaeen gay.

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aapke Sath

Kaash ham bhi koi sms hote,
Ek hi click mein aap ke pass hote,
Chahe aap hame delete kar dete,
Par ham ek minute to aap ke sath hote.

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Call Katna

1 Pathan hamesha Apne Mobile K Saath 1 Scissor Rakhta Tha,
Kisi Ne Poocha??
“Khan Saab Ye Konsi Science Hai ?”
Pathan: :”O Yaara Kbhi Kbhi Call Katna B Par Jata Hy Na

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Know Sachin

Reporter: Do u know Sachin?
Maria Sharapova: No

Reporter: KRK?
Maria : "Kis bhenkeloday ka naam le liya
tune!!!"

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I Am Going

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
GF nahi hai

Girl:- Tu itna achha he fir kya
reason hai ki teri koi GF nahi hai?
Boy :- Tu ban ja
Girl:- nahi tu mera best friend hai..
Boy :- Bas yehi reason hai.

May,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
क्या कर रहे हो

साली मुस्कुरा कर (जीजा से) बोली - जीजा जी...!!! क्या गजब कर रहे हो...! पांच साल में 6 बच्चे, क्या कर रहे हो आप?
जीजा जी - अरे मैं खुद परेशान हूं...। लेकिन आप ही लोगों ने तो बोला था कि बेटा, मेरी बेटी को कभी खाली पेट मत रखना, देख लो...., एक भी महीना खाली पेट नहीं है।

May,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
समानताएं होनी चाहिए

चाय और गर्लफ्रेन्ड में क्या समानताएं होनी चाहिए?

चाय और गर्लफ्रेन्ड में कुल सात समानताएं ज़रूरी हैं:
गर्म होनी चाहिए।
तेज़ होनी चाहिए।
मीठी होनी चाहिए।
रंग सही होना चाहिए।
दूध ज़्यादा होना चाहिए।
जल्दी से तैयार हो जानी चाहिए।
और
हमेशा बिस्तर पर मिलनी चाहिए।

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
हम ‪‎3G‬ रिचार्ज

हम ‪‎3G‬ रिचार्ज कराते_रह_गए
...और
वो ‪Tata_Sky‬ वाला 8 रुपये में लड़की पटा
निकला.

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kya bataoon

Mari Janeman kya bataoon,
kaise sitam dhaati hai
Sapney mein bhi kambakht,
apney baap ko leke aati hai

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
OFFER mein

LOOFER Aur OFFER mein kya fark hai?

Agar koi larka kisi larki ko propose kare toh LOOFER.
Aur
Koi larki larke ko propose kare to OFFER.

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kya Kheeze

Question:
Wo kya cheeze hai jo wife apne husband ko sari umar nahi deti

Socho..

Ans:
Chain ki Saans…

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ru Drunk

Son came home drunk,
to avoid moms scolding he took a laptop and started working
Mom: Ru drunk?
Kid: No
Mom: Phir suitcase khol ke kya kar raha hai??

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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