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Rehan's Joke
Ghanti Bhaja Do

Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein
puja ke liye jhukta hai.Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar
us mein ek sikka daal deti hai. Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai,
Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do.

Jul,14 2015
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Chhed Se Chhed

10. Seene se Seene mile
Mile ched se ched
Dhachar Dhachar hoke
Nikle safed safed ?

Ans. Aata Chaki

Jul,14 2015
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Insaan Ban Jao

Dil k mahman ban jao
Ankho k arman ban jao
Honto ki muskan ban jao.
Oh Aap Ho,
I am sorry yaar:
Tum to bas: Insaan Ban Jao.!

Jul,13 2015
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Into Ladies Toilet

Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet,
all ladies suddenly stand up!
Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai,
Betho Betho, Khaday mut ho.

Jul,13 2015
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Funny Rahul

Jul,13 2015
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Plastic Ke Plates

Agar aap sadak chhap Pani-Puri k stall pe plastic k plates n spoons mangte ho aur khud ko Hygienic samjhte ho, Toh kasam ragde pe lage hue kachre ki Aap Chutiye Hain

Jul,13 2015
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कुछ मीठा हो जाये

शादी के बाद सुहागरात के लिए पति और उसकी पत्नी अपने कमरे में गये।
पत्नी आराम से बेड पर बैठ गई और पति "कैडबरी चॉकलेट" अपने औज़ार पर लगाने लगा।
पत्नी ये देखकर बोली, "क्या कर रहे हो?"
पति: शुभ काम करने से पहले कुछ मीठा हो जाये।

Jul,13 2015
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Not A Husband

Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling!
its a computer, not a Husband

Jul,13 2015
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Do Sundar Ladkey

Do Sunder Ladkey
Dono Ek Rang Key
Ek Bichhad Jaaye
Toh Dusraa Kaam Naa Aaye.

Ans: Joota ( Shoes )

Jul,13 2015
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Padosan Ke Saath Chakkar

Jul,10 2015
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Finger Prints Matched

Dhoni 99 run par pahunch K catch ho Gya
WAH
Dhoni 99run per pahunch K catch ho Gya
DAYA gaadi start karo finger prints match ho
gaya

Jul,9 2015
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Aankhon Mein Aankhen

Jab bhi usse milo to sharmaana bilkul mat. Ladkiyon ko sharmeele ladke bilkul bhi pasand nahi aate. Hamesha uska haath pakad kar, aankhon mein aankhen daalkar hi baat kiya karo. Pet mein titliyan ud rahi ho fir bhi ekdum vishwaas se khade rehna.

Jul,9 2015
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Live And Learn

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Jul,8 2015
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Value of Day

Smile: value to our face
Love: value for our heart
Respect: value to our behaviour
Study: value to our future 
Friend: value to our life 
Have a good day

Jul,8 2015
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success of life

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions ?
Why am I doing it?
What the results might be and Will I be successful.
Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions,
Go ahead....

Jul,7 2015
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Boy Insulting Girl

Boy: Hi
Girl: Hey How Are You . What Are You Doing ?
Boy: I Am Texting To The Most Beautiful Girl Of The World.
Girl: (Emotionally) Awwwwww. ( :D :D
So Sweet Of You :) :)
Boy: But She Is Not Replying
So I Am Texting You..:P

Jul,7 2015
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Merry Christmas

May you Christmas sparkle with moments of love, laughter and goodwill.
And may the year ahead be full of contentment and Joy
Merry christmas

Jul,7 2015
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Didi Ke Liye Pepsi

Sad love story from a boy Hamare to sare khwab usi din chur-chur ho gaye
Jab pehli baar wo ghar aayi or mummy boli Jao beta DIDI k liye PEPSI le aao.

Jul,7 2015
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D Smallest Word

D smallest word is I,
the sweetest word is LOVE
and the dearest person
in the world is U.
tats y I Love You..

Jul,3 2015
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Hum Haquikat Banaye

Woh dil de hum jaan de aur ho jaye apna pyar
Woh muskan de hum hasi de aur saj jaye apna sansar
Woh sapne sajaye hum haquikat banaye aur pyar ki ude leher
Aur ye pyar badta rahe har shaam har seher.

Jul,3 2015
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Barbie Doll

Teddies hote hain bade pyaare
Twitties bhi kam nahin hain nyaare
Barbie Doll ka toh kya kehna
Unke bin toh ab ek pal aur na rehna.

Jul,3 2015
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Be Positive

This can be hard when times are tough, but it’s possible. Look for the solution instead of focusing on the problem. Stay positive.

Jul,3 2015
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Take My Sanskaar

Aajkal jha dekho bhi pr alok nath chal rha hai
ek joke meri tarf se b
Bahu : Babuji, I am going to Supermarket.
Aloknath: Take my Sanskaar Beta !
Bahu: Buddhe ab bas bhi kar !!
Aloknath: Arre I mean take my Son's Car

Jul,3 2015
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Bhoola Nhi Hu

Kisi roj yaad na kar pau to khudgarj na samjh lena,
Darasl choti si iss umar mai presaniya bhut hai,
Main bhoola nhi hu kisi ko mere bahot achhe dost hai zmane me,
Bs thodi zindagi uljhi pdi hai do waqt ki roti kmane me.

Jul,3 2015
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Don’t give up

Oh yes, it’s cheesy but true; looking at the tumultuous events of some people , it seems that after rejection that dont Give UP, you can do anything – try to work more on what you are bad at. No one is perfect at flirting the first time around. The more you flirt, the easier it’ll get.

Jul,2 2015
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Helo Sir B Silent

Santa plane land hote hi chillane lga.
Bnglore aya banglore aya.Balle Balle'
Air Hostess: Helo sir.B silent
Santa-ok anglore aya anglore aya alle alle

 

Jul,2 2015
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Upcoming Shadi Ke Card

Jul,1 2015
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Already Broken Yours


A baby boy and a baby girl in a bathtub having a bath
Girl looks down and says: Can I touch it?
Boy:No way ! You have already broken yours!

Jun,29 2015
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Man & Wife

Man: what you have prepared to eat today?
Wife: nothing
Man: but you did nothing yesterday
Wife : I made it for two days.
Wife: what you was doing today?
Man: nothing
Wife: Well, but you did nothing yesterday
Man: Haven't finished yet.

Jun,26 2015
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Natural Disasters

Boy: Can you be be my sun of my life? Girl: YES, i would love to be! Boy: Okay then stay 9,955,887.6 miles away from me! Boy: Can I Take Your Pic? Girl: Yes why not..!!Boy Takes A Picture and then  He Says: Thank You Very Much, I Love To Collect The Images Of Natural Disasters..!!

Jun,23 2015
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Kambakht Ishq

Dhokha Milta hain jab Pyar mein,
Zindagi mein Udasi chha jati hain,
Sochte hain Chhor denge is duniya ko,
Kambakht college me dusri pasand Aa jati hain

Jun,23 2015
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Cried Today

I Cried Today… Not Because I Miss You… Or Even Wanted You… But Because I Realized I’m Gonna Be All Right Without You.

Jun,23 2015
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Taj Mahal

Bhojpuri ishq
Taj mahal kaun chiz ba,
hum ehu se badi imarat banwaib
Mumtaz to mar ke dafan bhail rahe
tohke sasuri hum zinda dafnaib.

 

Jun,12 2015
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Harmful

Funny jokes from daily life -
A shotDoc, isn t it harmful to drink a shot before eating?
No it s not, if you don't eat too often.

Jun,12 2015
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YU Life


Value peopl who touchd ur
lyf
BCz u nvr knw whn dey ll b out of ur life to nvr cm bck
So take care of ME vrna
Fir kahoge
Behti Hawa Sa Tha Vo

 

Jun,12 2015
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Sunder Ladkey

Do Sunder Ladkey
Dono Ek Rang Key
Ek Bichhad Jaaye
Toh Dusraa Kaam Naa Aaye.
Ans: Joota

Jun,12 2015
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Work At Computer


For continuous work at computer, a work break of 5 to 10 min/hr is recommended

Jun,11 2015
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Bus Me


A lady walking on road,
Chatting on whatsapp,
with her left bObO open
Policeman- ye kya hai?
Lady- O shitt, munna to bus me hi reh gaya.

 

Jun,11 2015
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Purani Soch


Purani soch-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?

 

Jun,11 2015
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Dikhane Ke Liye

Pyar Zindgi Ko Sajane Ke Liye Ha
Zindgi Dard Badhane Ke Liye Hai
Kash Koi To Padh Pata Meri Udasi Ko
Ye Hansta Hua Chehra To Sirf Dikhane Ke Liye Ha

Jun,10 2015
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Sit Down Quietly

Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Jun,6 2015
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Kisko Bachaayenge

Game Show Host: Agar aapki biwi aur saas par koi tiger hamla kar de to aap kisko pehle bachaayenge?
Pappu: Beshak tiger ko, aakhir bechare bache hi kitne hain.

Jun,6 2015
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Ghuma Kar Peechhe

Girl to riksha wala :Q bhai jaye ga ?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga, abhi abhi to oil laga kar khada kia hai
Girl : to phir Ghuma kar peechay le lo.


Jun,6 2015
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call Ambulance

Hubby: Call Ambulance! I am having a heart attack

Wife: Okay! Give me your mobile password

Hubby: Its okay I am good.
Men will be men…

Jun,6 2015
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Swimming

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!
Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai.
Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai

Jun,6 2015
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Antim Sanskar

एक महिला दूसरी महिला से – क्या तुम्हारी सास बीमार थी कैसे मर गई ?
दूसरी महिला पहली महिला से – दरअसल अतिम संस्कार के समानो मे पचास परसेंट की छूट चल रही थी सो मेरी सास ने उसी का फायदा उठाया और मर गई

Jun,6 2015
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Tere Hi Naam Honge

Waqt Aur Khushi Tere Gulam Honge
Ye Pal Ye Pehlu Tere Hi Naam Honge
Dekhna Kabhi Jhuk Kar Neeche Bhi Ae Humsafar
Tere Har Kadam Ke Neeche Mere Haathon Ke Nishan Honge.

Jun,4 2015
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Tere Hi Naam Honge

Waqt Aur Khushi Tere Gulam Honge
Ye Pal Ye Pehlu Tere Hi Naam Honge
Dekhna Kabhi Jhuk Kar Neeche Bhi Ae Humsafar
Tere Har Kadam Ke Neeche Mere Haathon Ke Nishan Honge.

Jun,4 2015
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Zindagi Ko Jeena

Zindagi Zakhmo Se Bhari Hai,
Waqt Ko Marham Banana Seekh Lo.
Harna Toh Hai Hi Maut Ke Hatho Ekdin,
Filhaal Zindagi Ko Jeena Seekh Lo.

Jun,3 2015
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3 चोर

पत्नी – कल रात 3 चोर आए और मेरा रेप करके चले गए.
पति – तुमने उन्हें रोका नहीं ?
पत्नी – बहुत रोका पर वो बोले अब और ताकत नहीं है, अब कल आएंगे

Jun,2 2015
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